The Delivery

“Three centimetres,” said the medical student to the midwife.

“Owww, that hurts!” yelled Jeanie. She hated internal examinations under normal circumstances but this was, by far, the most painful. She tried to adjust her position for comfort. The foetal heart monitor was so uncomfortable around her belly. She tried to take it off but the midwife asked her to leave it alone.

Another wave of pain.

“Take some more gas and air,” the student suggested.

She felt woozy. She wondered if it was meant to feel like this.

Voices. She couldn’t hear what they were saying. They sounded distant. More pain. Much more pain. I’m scared, she thought as her heart rate accelerated.

Something changed… She felt different from woozy. More like doped. What a trip, she marvelled! Then she noticed things were quieter; a lot calmer. This is more like it, she thought, happily.

No. Wait. Oh no! This hurts way too much! The contractions were becoming stronger and more frequent. I don’t like this! When will it stop? Am I going to die? She hated the pain. So much of it. She felt suffocated. Claustrophobic. Please make it stop! She felt a tremendous rush.

Then things changed again… It was cold! This isn’t right, she thought fiercely. What’s happening to me? I’m too cold. I want to be warm again!

She took a deep breath and cried.

“Congratulations Jeanie! You have a beautiful baby girl!” said the midwife.

She opened her eyes and saw Jeanie holding her, smiling. Ah, so you’re the one making all the noise, she thought. I don’t know why you thought it was painful, it was much worse for me! She closed her eyes.

Jeanie looked at the midwife in despair. “Do babies sleep so soon after being born?” she asked anxiously.

The midwife smiled, “Oh, yes dear. Don’t worry. Birth is the longest and hardest journey of a person’s life.”

You’re not wrong there, she thought as she drifted off into a cosy sleep in her mother’s arms.

aka Sam Spade - 12th October 2003

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