Bertha's BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! A Very Bertha Sequel.......Part 2

Sorry this has taken me so long to post, guys! :( Here's what happened at the end of part one, in case you've forgotten:

Finally! After walking forever and getting trapped in a conversation with a Ralph Wiggum wannabe, here he was on Bertha’s street, just seconds away from being able to see her and talk to her and hold her in person. He jogged up to her front porch and rang the doorbell with a trembling finger. “This is it!” he thought. A dog barked inside as footsteps approached. Slowly, the door opened—and Milbert gasped in shock.



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“I—I’m sorry, I must have the wrong house,” Milbert stuttered, wondering why Bertha hadn’t told him on the phone that she’d moved. The girl standing in front of him didn’t look like it could be anyone from Bertha’s family. She was thin with shoulder-length black hair, a pierced eyebrow and nose, and black lipstick. She wore a black mini-dress with fishnet tights and black boots that came up to her knees. “Milbert! It’s me, you dork,” the girl giggled, opening the door wider for him to step in. “Like my new look?” she asked, twirling around in a circle. Milbert was speechless. Bertha’s amazing transformations were too much for one guy to keep up with. “Bertha! I…it’s really…interesting.” Bertha pouted playfully. “Interesting? Is that all you have to say about it?” she asked, grabbing him by the shoulders and backing him roughly into the corner of her living room. “Why don’t you show me just how interesting it is?” she purred. But her aggressiveness was making Milbert a little uncomfortable. Something seemed really different about her personality, and he wasn’t sure he liked whatever it was. “Ummm, aren’t your parents around here somewhere?” Milbert asked nervously, struggling to fend off Bertha’s wandering hands. Bertha finally backed off and plopped down onto the sofa. “No, they went to some dinner party with some other couple or something boring like that. That’s why I have THIS,” she snickered, pulling a brown paper sack out from behind the couch. Inside were two six packs of Sky Blue. She pulled out one of the bottles and held it out for Milbert to take. “Uhh, no thanks—I don’t drink,” he said, wondering how she’d gotten all that beer. Bertha rolled her eyes. “Milbert, don’t be such a little girl. Have some fun for once in your life,” she snarled. Milbert was offended. Little girl?? Have some fun for once in your life?? He thought about all the hours he’d spent constructing computer programs, attending State Math-a-thons, and mixing new chemical combinations down in his lab. That was fun, wasn’t it? He was a fun guy…wasn’t he? “If I don’t take a beer, Bertha may decide she finds me unappealing. I’ve studied this kind of thing in all my Sociology classes,” he thought to himself. Aloud, he said, “Uh, you interrupted my sentence. What I was actually preparing to say was…I don’t drink…anything but the finest alcoholic beverages. Such as this…beverage you’ve purchased for tonight. Yeah.” Bertha gave him a weird look but handed him the beer anyway. Slowly, he twisted the cap off, trying to reassure himself that he was making the right choice. “One bottle couldn’t hurt, could it?”

Six beers later, a very drunk Milbert stumbled over to Bertha and nearly fell on top of her as he asked, “Sooooo, what do yoooou want to do NOW?” They’d already slid down the stairs in cardboard boxes, painted Bertha’s family cat with spray paint, and videotaped themselves dancing to “Oops, I Did it Again.” She shrugged, looking around the room for anything remotely exciting. Suddenly, something caught her eye. She stumbled over to the rack of keys hanging on the wall and grabbed the keychain on the end. “My mom’s friends picked my parents up—which means they left their car in the garage,” she slurred, a mischievous look washing over her face. “My mom never lets me drive her car…but she’s not home, and her car IS. So—what do you say we take it for a spin?” Milbert thought this over. “Does it have a CD player?” he asked finally. Bertha nodded. “Can we bring the Britney Spears CD?” She nodded again.

Milbert didn’t need any more persuasion.

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