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Date: 2/10/2024 5:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...if nothing else: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53518929037_374cb18928_o.jpg  |
Date: 2/10/2024 5:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hey! I got that joke from a professional comedian so he deserves that gold star!  |
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Date: 2/10/2024 7:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...when I thought about Newhart telling that joke, I laughed and laughed and laughed. Your delivery and timing were off. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 8:11:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^ Armchair Critic: A person who offers comments or criticisms on a subject of which he/she has little or no practical knowledge or experience. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 8:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...you're right of course. I have no practical knowledge or experience in being critical. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 8:47:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Oh…ha-ha. It’s time you get a new armchair. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 9:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...found one I liked: https://assets.wfcdn.com/im/57823829/resize-h445%5Ecompr-r85/6879/68796270/Sylvania+Velvet+Armchair.jpg |
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Date: 2/10/2024 11:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That’s a mighty fancy toilet you got there! Inspired by a famous Palm Beach resident, am Ai right? |
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Date: 2/10/2024 11:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...it even has room for under-seat document storage. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 11:50:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Aka toilet paper…. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 2:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...or from that time when you were three and it was your birthday (that they had forgotten about) so they flung a roll across the room and told you it was the deluxe birthday crepe banner and was reusable. How old were you when you found out the truth? |
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Date: 2/10/2024 2:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...in a way, I can understand why your parents may have forgotten your special day because, back then, Bowling for Dollars was a BIG THING and they were always down at the lanes practicing their game and thinking about little else as they awaited their moment in the biggies. You were just something that had to have food thrown at it every so often and put outside to run around. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 3:07:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
When I was three when I found out the truth about Canadians kissing a dead cod fish as some kind of cultural ritual. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 3:09:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Actually, it was Dialing for Dollars as I had access to the rotary phone while they were practicing at the lanes. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 3:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...PETA made us see the error of our ways when killing the cod prior to the big smooch. These days, only live cod are used in this ritual and, if they manage to get a good nip on your nose, you are banished from the village and must live with the Florida tribe. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 3:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Dialing for Dollars always had me on the edge of my seat. ...Waiting... ...Waiting... ...Waiting |
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Date: 2/10/2024 3:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...it was more fun than trying to contact a government employee or the phone company. I think Bell Telephone Company invented the "I'll pass you on to my supervisor model when dealing with irate customers that had the audacity to question their methods. |
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Date: 2/10/2024 3:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
So what kind of horrible muzak were you forced to listen to while on hold? |
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Date: 2/10/2024 7:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...that's a really good question. You already know that the tunes will have you grinding your teeth after five minutes and coming up with 24th century improvements to currently popular curse words after ten. Deep in the back of my mind, I hold Celine Dion responsible and I'm not quite sure why that is so but it's there. I'm also mentally seeing an LP record with a warp and the vinyl has been liberally treated to light "touchdowns" with a belt sander and through a pair of speakers that were left abandoned on the side of the road in Texas somewhere and are now full of holes. No offense intended Kronk. By the way, your speakers have been found. In the end though, it is very difficult to categorize what they play but in these days where you are told that any verbal abuse of the customer service rep will result in you being disconnected so they try to get you into a right proper froth in that hour and a quarter wait. You don't have the fortitude to call back. The Muzak has won. Did this help? |
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Date: 2/10/2024 8:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...there was this weird sound too, like someone whispering "Paul is Dead". |
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Date: 2/10/2024 8:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...like some kind of forwardly inverted backmasking. |
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Date: 2/11/2024 3:52:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
The part about most of the muzak is how scratchy and out of sync it tends to sound, worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. Once I was treated to an absolute horrible version of the Overture from “ Tommy” by The Who. I hung up immediately….and looking back I think that’s what they were hoping for. |
Date: 2/14/2024 7:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  I find myself becoming less critical towards "country music," as I age."L.D."---Really? I didn't think you were into the "tears in my beer" thing. kronk---I "have" been drinking lots more beer, lately, but my favorite band is "Little Big Town." "L.D."---"You get a line. I'll get a pole, and we'll go fishing in the crawfish hole." (Boondocks, by Little Big Town.) kronk---Get on with it, dog! "L.D."---Ma pawdna!  |
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Date: 2/14/2024 7:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Nothing is safe on (or near) the road, these days. I tell all my loved ones that if "they" break down on the highway, the best thing to do is abandon the vehicle, make for the nearest cover and get as far away from the road as possible. "L.D."---Amen, bro. I was making my way to town, the other day. Fifteen feet off the highway, facing oncoming traffic; when this 1959 two toned, orange and yellow, "Firedome Desoto," with twelve masked missionaries hanging out the windows, came barreling off the highway and tried to run me down. kronk---"They" must have been, like, anti-dog, or something? "L.D."---Talk about. kronk---How'd you escape, dog? "L.D."---I made a hard right, at speed and led 'em over the edge of a fifty foot bank, directly into the "Colorado River." kronk---Any survivors? "L.D."---Who knows? I was already late. |
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Date: 2/15/2024 5:35:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I have to agree Kronk, as I’ve come appreciate those country music legends from my father’s days working in the garage with the radio on. I even find myself looking up Hee- Haw shows on YouTube every once in awhile. I think another influence was an album “ Tumbleweed Connection “ by Elton John that I bypassed in my youth but now seems to me a very good country concept record. |
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