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Date: 1/31/2001 10:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 23610
Well...Whirlwn...I say it is your right to know. I know not everyone agrees. But you could at least give it a try. I have a sister out there somewhere who has only met me once. I know she feels like an only child and she is NOT. I have two other sisters that I know she would like to meet. Sadly we lost track of her. I would be thrilled to find her again and to have her find us. So...I say go for it. Just try not to have expectations and take it as it goes when you meet them. Good luck sweetie. -Lady Nyx  |
Date: 1/31/2001 10:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 3321
I believe that despite his "wish" of anonymity, you have every right to know, for medical reasons or just to know...  |
Date: 1/31/2001 10:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 24319
I think they should be allowed to and it's the born right to know who their biological family is. I have a friend who is adopted and her mother would flip is she ever tried to find her natural parents.. Which I think she would really do, finding her paretns. because just resently she found out that she had a diesease(sp?). Peace and Love ~~Carrie~~  |
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Date: 1/31/2001 10:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 24319
a disease(sp?) from her natural parents... sorry I should have made it more clear. Peace and Love ~Carrie~ |
Date: 1/31/2001 10:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 9130
I think only the parents should be able to look up the child. There was a reason they put the child up for adoption...  |
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Date: 1/31/2001 10:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
Go for it !!!Find out all you can!!!!! My friend is going through the same thing it is very scarey for her but she wants to know who she is ! Good luck I hope you find your dad. LOL Moon girl  |
Date: 1/31/2001 10:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 8717
I think it is your, the adopted child, decision. I found out, on my wedding day, that i had a sister i never knew about. Long story short she was basically kidnapped and adopted out. She found my mother about 3 yrs before i found out about her. Just be prepaired for whatever you may find.  |
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Date: 1/31/2001 10:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 8717
I think it is your, the adopted child, decision. I found out, on my wedding day, that i had a sister i never knew about. Long story short she was basically kidnapped and adopted out. She found my mother about 3 yrs before i found out about her. Just be prepaired for whatever you may find. |
Date: 1/31/2001 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 23207
I think they should only if they want to. My mom put a daughter up for adoption, although I didn't find out about my older sibling until I was 13, I wish for my mom's sake that she would search for her if for nothing else but to let my mom know she made it okay. Trouble   |
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Date: 1/31/2001 10:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 8717
Oops! It posted twice. Sorry i mean to add to that a Good Luck on your search should you choose to look for your siblings. |
Date: 1/31/2001 11:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 18201
I know it's been a topic for debate for a while now, but I've always felt that children should be able to know where they come from. There are many reasons why you should do your research to find your bio-dad's family, the most important being personal and medical reasons....but you also have to be ready for anything. In my opinion, I think you should, if only for your own peace of mind. Bright Blessings and Much Luck be with you! ~*~VaiaMoon§hadow~*~  |
Date: 2/1/2001 12:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 21834
Hi Whirlwn. You have some good responses here from both sides of the fence. The more I think about it I keep arriving at the conclusion that it was not your decision to be adopted out so I would encourage you to find what you need to know and I wish you luck. Take care - Jailbird  |
Date: 2/1/2001 1:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 10657
well, I have mixed emotions about it I guess. First, it would be a good thing to know for medical reasons. But, on the downside it may hurt if you get rejected.  |
Date: 2/1/2001 9:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 20873
I think you should look them up but beware some parents are not so sure they want to be looked up....not that long ago I helped someone find there birth parents it was painful and disasterous her parents neither one wanted for her to be in there lives. I couldnt believe it..but it was true . Becareful on your search and good luck to you . DINA  |
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Date: 2/1/2001 1:06:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23072
First I would like to thank all of you that took the time to write. I think all my life I have felt rejected. Being given away as a child makes you feel unwanted from birth. Even if you are taken by a wonderful family, somewhere in the back of your mind you know someone else didn't want you. You grow up with that knowledge and hurt all through your childhood. I've already been hurt and now in my middle age I don't really want more hurt so I've never tried to find them. I once drove through the city that I believed my father lived in and I looked up the name in the phone book. It was there and I began to shake so bad I couldn't call, I never tried again. He was much older than my mother and she were still living she would be 80 so I'm sure he is no longer living. I would like to know how old he was when he died and why he died. My son and I both have high blood pressure and it wasn't in my mother's family. We both found out we were sick when we were in our early 20's. High blood pressure is not something you think of in a 20 year-old. I'll probably never look them up but it is something I've toyed with for many years. I can watch shows like Oprah and these reunion shows move me to tears because they look so happy. That would be my dream. Whirlwn |
Date: 2/1/2001 3:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 20699
I think that adopted children should know about their natural parents for medical reasons but mostly to know where you come from and what you're family history is. Just my opinion. JFD  |
Date: 2/2/2001 5:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 16865
I think it is only natural. I am not sure if my bio dad really is, (We'll get tests done) and if he isn't I'll have to live with the fact that I may never know my biological father. But I just want to know, if for nothing else, so that I can at least say "I don't know" rather than give wrong medical information. I mean if it were necessary (And it has been) I want to be able to say "I don't know" instead of giving wrong info. If my children needed the info I'd push it more.  |
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Date: 2/2/2001 5:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 16865
Also heritage is nice to know. My Grandpa's Dad is where our Maternal side stops. No one has information but I think it would be interesting to find out just to see were we came from. |
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Date: 2/2/2001 10:42:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23072
You're right heritage is nice to know too as well as medical. I was at a Christmas party not too long ago and someone came up to me and stated that I looked like I had some German in me. I always thought I might. Whirlwn |
Date: 2/2/2001 3:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 20576
I dont think they should, because they'll be sadder knowing that they were given up. I know this b/c I was adopted. and asked questions. Found out I have a brother that has no arms so that gave him away. They gave me away/and starved me.. all because i wasent a boy. *no joke* People can be cruel. The truth hurts. I will never live down the pain. Also knowing that my bio mom called me danny b/c she wanted a boy so bad.  Sometimes its better not to know. --PaRkY--  |
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Date: 2/2/2001 5:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23072
I guess I'd always hoped that they would come find me. That way I'd know they wanted to meet me. Since I would like to know them..I know it would be a happier and less scary time for me. Whirlwn |
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Date: 2/10/2001 7:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 23604
well, this is related to the topic.... i want to adopt children to avoid having kids with screwed up genes and i am so scared about them wanting to find their real parents. what if they love their realy parents more than me? what if they rebel against me?? i'm scared about that. good luck and take care. -ariah  |
Date: 2/12/2002 7:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 16376
I agree with Jailbird go for it  |
Date: 4/3/2003 9:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 24003
If I was adopted..Id want to try to see my natural family. I think its only human to want to see whats missing there.  |
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