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JOTW #217

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(12/7/2024 3:16:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (146 times)

If a man call you " ugly", he's angry.

If a woman calls you " ugly" , she's jealous.

If a child calls you "ugly ", then you're ugly.

But if a cat calls you " ugly" then stop drinking alcohol. Cats don't talk!

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 12/7/2024 5:37:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    You ugly.

kronk---What?

"L.D."---You heard me; you ugly.

kronk---I'm not worried about it.

"L.D."---Why?

kronk---I'm not worried about it `cause dogs don't talk.

"L.D."---I beg your pardon. The man said "Cats don't talk."

kronk---Oh?

"L.D."---Besides....Who are you talking to, anyway?

kronk---Ugh?

"L.D."---"Hey Larry " That was a good joke. Nevermind kronk. In his "permanently pickled" state; he just doesn't get it.

kronk---Get what?...hiccup....
  
Date: 12/7/2024 8:14:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    LOL! No worries. After all, Jimmy Stewart once had an invisible 6ft rabbit that he always confided in.. ....  
Date: 12/7/2024 9:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...cats do talk although they utilize a type of "claw language"
that is indecipherable to most non-cat people, yet dogs have
come to learn it over the millennia.

I haven't had a cat in quite a while but one of my birds likes
to wake me up in the morning by flying into the room, pluck a
few whiskers from the tenderest part of my neck until I shoo him
away to the top of the television where he'll screech away to
make sure that I'm awake to appreciate his vocal stylings of
"Happy and you know it" or perhaps the theme music from the Andy
Griffith show or The Addams Family. If I'm really lucky and in
need of a headache, I'll get Darth Vader's entrance music in
Super-Screech mode.

After a couple of cups of coffee, I'll drag myself over to the
JOTW tosee how Hey Larry is going to offend my sensibilities this
week while the bird sits on my shoulder and asks "whatcha doin',
whatcha doin'" and, since it's none of his business and he hasn't
learned to read yet, I tell him "important things" and leave it at
that because I would otherwise embarrass myself if I was to tell
him the truth.

  
Date: 12/7/2024 9:41:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...kronk...I very much doubt that you are as ugly as L.D. claims
and I suspect that he may be a little envious of your ability to
climb into a shower to cleanse yourself after a triumphant day of
rolling in dead fish without getting fur all over your tongue.

Try to see things from his point of view and it probably wouldn't
hurt if you fed him some real meat once in a while instead of that
sawdust in a can or crab husks.

  
Date: 12/7/2024 9:48:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...Hey Larry has an imaginary 6ft rabbit that he calls "Jessica".

  
Date: 12/7/2024 10:36:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...whatever happened to good jokes like
"I'm so old, I remember when a drone was just a noise my wife made".
You know. things a guy can relate to.

  
Date: 12/7/2024 12:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    You leave Jessica out of this! It's my imagination and I'll smile if I want to!  
Date: 12/7/2024 12:51:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I bet you can relate to falling off your pet dinosaur after a foul tempered pterodactyl decided it was a good idea to eliminate the competition.  
Date: 12/8/2024 12:15:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I found this useful tidbit of information :

Cats use their tails to communicate a wide array of emotions including
indifference, disdain, indifference, apathy, indifference and the cold
loathing that comes from having never, ever been fed.

  
Date: 12/8/2024 4:53:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Apparently you've never had a cat within earshot of a can opener when in use.  
Date: 12/9/2024 8:16:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I am well aware of cat magnets.

  
Date: 12/11/2024 7:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    We need to research the location of any descendents of Jimmy Stewart's 6 foot rabbit.

kronk---What?

"L.D."---You heard me. Quit playing around. Do you realize how long I could subsist on the meat from a six foot rabbit?

kronk---About twelve hours?

"L.D."---Closer to eight hours, actually. Ugh! All this talk about 6 foot rabbits has got me hungry. What's for dinner?

kronk---Crab.

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 12/11/2024 7:49:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler Kronk is so ugly.

(Audience)---How ugly is he?

"L.D."---Kronk is so ugly that when he was delivered, the doctor slapped his momma.

(Audience)---Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk....

kronk---That's not really funny.

"L.D."----hehehehe
  
Date: 12/12/2024 3:24:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Here ya go L.D.!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/a-ZmNGey41c
  

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