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Notice: This Advice is free advice and only for (Fun). It is provided by person or persons not affiliated with the Unsolved Mysteries website and neither Unsolved Mysteries or the persons giving the advice will assume any responsibility for consequences for the actions you take as a result.
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Date: 10/9/2024 5:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Rich Snob, Would Poutine be considered an appropriate hors d'oeuvre to serve guests at a soirée? I am hoping to elevate myself into society where I may be able to raise money for a false charity and put it into an account on the Cayman Islands.  |
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Date: 10/9/2024 9:41:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
Dear Pouting Over Poutine If I know the kind of company you keep (and I believe that I do), you may feel confident that your inclusion of poutine on the menu for your sorry event will be regarded with gasps of delight along with exclamations on your brilliance. Poutine, a dish first popular with and created by French Canadians, is a treat universally acclaimed across all nations and peoples of the world. Typically, a concoction created by the French has an initial Snoot value of 8 and that value rises with the adding of such supplemental items as Canadian bacon and sauteed Chanterelle mushrooms with an aged cheddar crumble. Indeed, even the name "Poutine" translates from French into every language as "Manna from Heaven". You will never regret making this decision. As far as to elevating yourself into society, may I suggest purchasing lift shoes for a start? Do not force yourself upon your betters... a sly man will take it slow at the start by say...becoming a "yes man" and working up to something much more effective such as "brown-nosing". This will get your foot in the door. The profits from your fake charities and the probable flipping of junk Eastern European autos through band-aid and pop rivet "restorations" should never be entrusted to any offshore numbered account. It is a known fact that spies from all of the alphabet agencies far outnumber actual depositors in these places. For expert banking advice, you should contact one of my investment specialists at 1 803 546-3526 (1 80FLIM-FLAM) for personalized service. Our representative will tell you all about the "ALPHA Account" and the ultra security you will gain by having your ill-gotten gains resting in a quiet vault 29,000 zubits below the Great Venusian Icecap. These vaults are additionally guarded by an angry horde of hungry Haitians F.Y.I. : one zubit is the approximate equal to the nose-to-tail length of an average American Quarter Horse. I have calculated the value of this advice to be worth 40 Ziffels. An account in your name has already been created by one of our more discreet hackers and your remittance was made automatically.  |
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Date: 10/9/2024 6:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Rich Snob, In response to your previous comment, are future readers of your article here expected to consider your opinion regarding your " Haute Cuisine " ( French for fast food, junk food, etc.) to be the Bible of those wealthy folks that are in the know? |
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Date: 10/9/2024 6:19:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...in a nutshell, yes. |
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Date: 10/9/2024 10:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 27161
Dear Rich snob, why cant you Canandians pronounce house correctly?  |
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Date: 10/10/2024 4:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Rich Sob....I mean SNOB, Were you born into a wealthy family or did you actually go to college and work hard at making money? Just seeking more valuable insight. |
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Date: 10/10/2024 5:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
Dear Rich Snob, I'm not used to asking these types of questions, so forgive me if I am a little awkward. I'm quite nervous and frankly embarrassed to be asking this question. I recently made a very wise investment by purchasing 1/65th of a time share for a condo that will be built on the moon sometime within the next century. So, my question is - Do you think a condo was the way to go? Or should I have just purchased my own resort? Now that I think about it, a condo on the moon just screams "Help! I'm poor!", doesn't it? P.S: Also, why is there a picture of me on the cover of Hey Larry's book?  |
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Date: 10/10/2024 1:36:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
. Dear Double-wide (aka Freedom Fighter) Categorically lumping a nation's population together and stereotyping them is a practice that should be avoided at all costs! It is akin to some sad soul from England claiming (and rightly so), that the Americans had taken their beautiful language and destroyed it by dropping a vowel here and there and dropping in a few y'alls and howdys in an attempt to make up for some personal insecurities. I must admit, Canadians are also guilty of this trait. For instance, when a Canadian says "house", this may get under the skin of some Americans that will vehemently insist that the correct pronunciation is "trailer" and I will lay responsibility for this directly on the Canadian educational system that has taught us from our tenderest years that Americans are little more than backwoods hayseeds. For my part, I would like to extend an olive branch and perhaps come to some kind of agreement we can both live with when talking about houses and call them mobile homes as a compromise. . With apologies, . Rich Snob |
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Date: 10/10/2024 2:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
. Dear Garden Gnome (aka Hey Larry) I was not born wealthy. For your information, I was born of the conjoining of French Canadian and British stock. Although shy of means, we were quick to learn and evolved at a rapid pace. I never did have the benefit of a college education but merely attained my vast knowledge by absorption and a desire to improve myself. I would also, to assuage any suspicions you may have raised with the U.S. Secret Service, deny printing my own money. Besides, I'm more of an adherent to cryptocurrency transactions. . Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, . Rich Sob |
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Date: 10/10/2024 2:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
. Dear Lucky to be Canadian (aka Morphix) You should never feel awkward, nervous or embarrassed when asking a question. There are no bad questions. Consider instead that you were a backwoods hayseed of the country south of the 49th Parallel that would merely concoct some zany answer to that question based purely on geographical, religious or political influences. Danger lies in them thar parts. Avoid going there at all costs! As to your inquiry: 1/65th of a time share for a condo that will be built on the moon is a wise purchase. You'll only have cause to yell "Help! I'm poor!" if you don't. You've gotten in on the ground floor of an industry that is going to absolutely EXPLODE before this decade is over. Those 5.62 days a year, sublet out or operated as an Airbnb will soon start raking in riches for you once the Indians start scheduling regular service to and from our celestial satellite. In ending, I must agree that a mistake had been made regarding the cover art. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I have included a notice of correction above. . Rich Snob |
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Date: 10/10/2024 5:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 55251
ಠ_ಠ .... Thank you so much for the correction Mr. Rich Snob. Unfortunately, the book about me is written in English at the 6th grade level. So, not everyone here will be able to read it. That reminds me, I think I have a copy of Hekler's book laying around here somewhere.. |
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Date: 10/10/2024 5:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
. Dear Appreciator of Fine Literature (aka Morphix) Thank you for taking the time to respond but I don't think it was very sporting of you to take a shot at Hey Larry like you did. He can't help the fact that he wasn't schooled in Canada. . Mr. "Star-of-my-own-novel" Rich Snob |
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Date: 10/10/2024 6:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
...Sniff...Sniff...Sigh... "L.D."---What's up with you, man? kronk---This post really "moved" me. "L.D."---Really??? Pray tell; how so? kronk---Hekler mentioned "Woolco." "L.D."---Woolco???? kronk---It must have been around 1983, but I can recall it, as if it were yesterday. "L.D."---Ugh! I gotta' go potty! kronk---"They" were liquidating everything and I watched the twelve foot surf rod, with the natural cork handle and foregrip, until "they" reduced it by 42% and I made my move. I still have that surf rod, today. "L.D."---I "really" have to go potty, now! kronk---I also got the six foot boat rod, with the stainless steel roller tip top, at a bargain price. Used the thing for years, until one day I hooked a massive, gigantic tiger shark that wrenched the rod right out of my hands. Oh, what a beast that was! "L.D."---As I remember; you lost that rod when you passed too close to an offshore drilling platform and hooked onto the superstructure. kronk---Didn't you say you had to go potty? "L.D."---Ugh!  |
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Date: 10/10/2024 6:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
OK...So what'll it be? kronk---What "are" you asking me, dog? "L.D."---"Imaginary Wench, Reclusive Virgin, or Rich Snob?" kronk---I'll take the "Rich Snob" for eighteen million "L.D."---Really??? I thought, that you thought, of yourself as something of a lady's man? kronk---Yeah, well, don't get me wrong, I'm all for wenches and virgins; but at my age, I gotta' think of my future. "L.D."---Ugh! |
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Date: 10/10/2024 7:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Rich Snob, RE: Dear Garden Gnome / Hey Larry, I'm just now beginning to realize how difficult it must have been for you to be the child of conjoining twins. Since one was French and the other was Canadian then it stands to reason why you couldn't afford a college education and had to join the traveling circus to help your family to make ends meet. I'm glad to know that you've bettered yourself by working your way up to the title of carnival barker . Your conjoined mixed race parents must be so proud. And the fact that you have managed to be the first in your family to walk upright truly shows your desire to improve yourself. |
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Date: 10/11/2024 8:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Dear Rich Snob....First of all, I should make it clear that I have wanted to become a "Rich Snob," for as long as I can remember. Chewing on a bland piece of sugarcane and watching the rich kids eating their sickly sweet, store bought, candy, flaunting their bad teeth and bragging about the sugar rush, I thought; That's the life for me! "L.D."---You lusted after bad teeth and Hyperglycemia??? Man you really are messed up. kronk---Go away dog, you're bothering me! Anyway....Sorry, Rich Snob. That was my imaginary talking dog. (I'm seriously thinking of replacing him with a mink; what do you think?).....What I feel that I "really" need is a mentor. You know, someone like you to guide me. Frankly, what I need is a "rich snob" with a wing that I can hangout under for a few years, while I learn the ropes, so to speak. I'm sure that we could be quite useful to one another and with a monthly allowance of, say, a couple hundred grand, or so, (American dollars, please) I would be at your beck and call. (Except on weekends. I plan on playing tennis on weekends.) Kindest regards & Hope to hear from you soon: Angot Noso Louie "L.D."----Ugh!...What happened to you? You once had a soul! kronk---I'm sick and tired of eating crab seven days a week! "L.D."---Ugh! |
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Date: 10/19/2024 2:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Rich Snob, Is Lawerence Hayes related to Issac Hayes? |
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Date: 10/19/2024 5:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Well???? kronk---Well, what? "L.D."---Are "they" related? kronk---I don't know? I'll have to get back to you on that one. "L.D."---Which one? kronk---Ugh! |
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