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Hey Larry’s JOTW #193

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(6/29/2024 5:14:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (185 times)

Watching a presidential debate with a friend.

Republican: I am going to smoke crack and burn down all the houses in your hometown.

Democrat: I will also burn down all the houses in that same town, but I will smoking meth, not crack.

Third party rep: I don’t do drugs and disavow arson.

Me to my friend: “I think I’m going to vote third party.”

Friend: “what, are you crazy?”

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 6/29/2024 6:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    I hear that "they" have put Kamala on standby.

"L.D."---Ugh?
  
Date: 6/29/2024 7:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Who do we know in the "third party?"

"L.D."---Your cousin "Bootsie."

kronk---Who????

"L.D."---You know. The one who used to repair chainsaws.

kronk---Oh, yeah. She doesn't actually repair chainsaws; she repurposes them.

"L.D."---You mean?

kronk---Yep...and she's not "third party," either, she's agnostic.

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 6/29/2024 7:11:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Where's "Hey Larry?"

kronk---How should I know? The man posted the "JOTW." What more do you want?

"L.D."---A ten pound filet of prime beef.

kronk---Forget it!

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 6/29/2024 7:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    If someone gave you fifty dollars, would you eat a great blue heron?

kronk---For fifty dollars I would eat two great blue herons.

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 6/29/2024 7:55:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...JOTW truck crashes:

https://boingboing.net/2024/06/28/manure-truck-crashes-and-drenches-cars-and-homes-with-poop-video.html?fk_bb

  
Date: 6/30/2024 6:10:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    The country has been on standby for many years. The idea of governing is something you might read about in a history book.  
Date: 6/30/2024 6:12:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    “Bootsie” sounds like a person I’d be interested in hearing more about. I have a Stihl that needs a tuneup and a good chain sharpening!  
Date: 6/30/2024 6:14:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    RE: “ Where’s Larry?”

I had a rather large cleanup project that needed attending…see Hekler’s link below….
  
Date: 6/30/2024 6:14:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Can Blue Heron be smoked?  
Date: 6/30/2024 9:17:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...have you ever tried blue heron aspic?
Kronk will back me on this one.

  
Date: 6/30/2024 9:22:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...my question about the smoked blue heron is:
Did you mean to roll it up in a paper and light iy?

or,

Were you intending to have it absorb the flavors of smoldering aromatic woods?

or,

You're game for anything?

  
Date: 6/30/2024 9:32:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Aspic is the shortest version of despicable.

https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/internet-group-sharing-disgusting-vintage-food-62f9f5940d1a6__700.jpg
  
Date: 6/30/2024 9:38:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    If I were game for anything it sure wouldn’t have anything to do with being engulfed in jello. Do you share recipes that most sane people have repulsed at just for kicks? Or are you the “ more forme then “ type?  
Date: 6/30/2024 2:52:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    It occurs to me that Hekler once had a role in a very low budget movie called “ Aspic Roadkill And The Carrion AllStars.” I recall seeing it as part of a double feature at a desert drive-in theater back in the late 70’s. Reliving his best times as he faces the golden years.  
Date: 6/30/2024 3:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Good point, for sure. I believe there is a plan in the making to ban those books. (history)  
Date: 6/30/2024 4:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "Bootsie" was my Uncle Warner's daughter. Uncle Warner was a scientist, for the opposition, during the war years. He was locked up in a chateau, "somewhere" around Innsbruck, Austria, for four years, and charged with developing an abomination of a snowman to tip the scale in favor of the fatherlands' effort on the eastern front. Warner was also a raving alcoholic. He got tanked up one evening and stumbled into a 170 ft. crevasse in a local glacier and met his end. "Bootsie," whose given name was "Felizitas," inherited her father's passion for biology and auto mechanics, moved to Venezuela in the mid-forties. She was a respectable downhill skier and at twelve years of age, could totally tear down and rebuild an 1100 cc VW Beetle engine, in 6.5 hours.

"L.D."---Whatever happened to her?

kronk---Last time I heard anything about her was in the early seventies. She was head of deforestation while "they" were building the Trans-Amazonian Highway.

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 6/30/2024 4:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler I always figured you for a man with the refined, sophisticated ability to appreciate or make discerning judgments about artistic, aesthetic, or intellectual matters.

"L.D."---Laying it on pretty thick, eh?

kronk---You like that, eh?

"L.D."---Get on with it, please.

kronk---I so appreciate a man who knows his "aspic," and do wholeheartedly recommend the "Holiday Heron Aspic." There is just something about a twenty-three inch
long heron neck encased in a translucent bowl of gelatin, along with white onions, celery, and parsley root, that takes my breath away.

"L.D."---Oh, Lord.
  
Date: 7/4/2024 12:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Where's the JOTW?

kronk---Today is Thursday.

"L.D."---Really? I thought today was Saturday. It just feels like a Saturday.

kronk---Thursday July 4th 2024.

"L.D."---Happy 4th of July!

kronk---Thank you, dog. Same to you.
  

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