|
|
|
|
|
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
Date: 4/6/2024 4:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  My tent camping days are pretty much over, I think. I remember, "back in the day," went we went camping, I hardly slept at all. If I did happen to drift off, I was awakened by a nightmare of some lunatic slitting the canvas and murdering us all. Heaven forbid that some nocturnal creature happened to wander through the campsite. Ugh! These days, if I don't have my compliment of pillows to position strategically around my form, I can't even sleep in my own bed. "L.D."---Talk about! If you don't quit tossing and turning and keeping me awake; you're going to half to sleep on the floor. kronk---Ugh!  |
Date: 4/6/2024 4:16:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I hear ya Kronk! Sleeping in a tent in the great outdoors wasn’t a problem for me once upon a time. Fishing and hiking was something I really enjoyed. Now I have a remote control I use to reminisce.  |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 6:49:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
What do bears call campers in their sleeping bags? |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 9:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I think this is more of an affirmation of your predilection to live a Barbie-like existence and less of a joke but who am I to judge your girly ways. I'm with Kronk on this one. Tent camping is the way to go if you want to get the full nature experiences like coyotes yelping from what seems to be a relatively close distance or raccoons managing to unlock the food cooler and chew into that pack of bacon that you were looking forward to in the morning. All of this in two giant tents with inflatable double beds and all the other bells and whistles that civilization has bestowed upon us. Don't judge me either...there were those bad times when vital components of the tent were missing when you got to the campsite but I come from the Rambo school of improvising and overcoming. Friends falling into the campfire for unknown reasons? Been there. Been up north by myself and decide at 2 a.m. that you'd like some company so you call a relative to invite them up and then go for a three hour return trip to pick them up and you're dead tired by the time you get back so you have a couple of martinis (shaken, not stirred). Off to bed you go. You just get to sleep and awaken to what sounds like an unmuffled chain saw. It's your cousin and he's snoring to beat the Guinness record for volume. Then there was the time I went to camp at a Provincial park with the girlfriend-of-the-moment and a bunch of drunks you know from work also show up there because I had failed to use discretion when announcing my weekend plans. Coincidentally, your friends had brought along some high-proof Jamaican rum drained from a barrel belonging to someone or others dad. All you remember is that sometime through the night you had hopped into your friend's van and been driven about 20 miles away in a quest for more of the same hooch, sleep on a flight of stairs and return to the campsite the next day in a heavy downpour to two friends you had also gone up with and a girlfriend that was less than happy with you for some reason. That was REAL camping.  |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 9:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry's idea of camping: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/8zDPBuRNryg/maxresdefault.jpg |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 9:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Thank you Marlin Perkins! I think that you’re coming out and admitting you have a drinking problem is your first step to recovery. You left out the part about pink elephants on parade, but then who can blame you when you’ve experienced many lost weekends? And nobody’s going to judge you, especially when you realize that you have a drinking problem. The important thing is that you get better! Friends falling into an open campfire for no reason, real or imagined is no laughing matter. No sir! And who are we to judge what you and your relatives ( real or imagined) do at an ungodly hour ? No way! And your girlfriend ( real or imagined) was given a weekend pass to the local zoo ,so you decided it was a good idea at the time to invite your rowdy friends. In hindsight you realized that the wild animals at the zoo had more restraint and behaved better. And in the end, you had no idea why you woke up in a jail cell . Get better friend! We at USM are pulling for you. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Toulouse-Lautrec was a painter, not an outdoorsman. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I swear that I had a girlfriend (real or imagined...probably a little of both) Alcohol consumption was NEVER a problem for me. I can see you're trying to give me a negative paint job here. The friends falling into the campfire? Also an easily explained occurrence arising from attempting to toss an overly heavy log or bridge support onto the flames. Those times I spent in jail? Accidents fomented by cops with a misunderstanding of the facts in those situations. We had only burned the bridge beams believing that they were some odd type of square tree native to the area. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:18:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
What’s this? Trying to walk back your previous comments? Denial is a roadblock to recovery friend. Call your sponsor. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I did also not ask you to explain the career of your former best gal Too-Loose Lautrec. You should consider that as your submission of a future JOTW. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Denial??? Here's denial: https://www.waternet.be/images/Nile_Map_WorldBank_2013.jpg |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You aren’t much of an art critic…… |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...does this ^^^ mean you have photos? |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:27:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...this is her, isn't it? https://img.kwcdn.com/product/Fancyalgo/VirtualModelMatting/579be1d694a8f759cc4529f6a81f3a41.jpg?imageMogr2/auto-orient%7CimageView2/2/w/800/q/70/format/webp |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:27:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Alright, denial is a River that flows through Egypt. Also, it’s adorable the way you deflect and protect your own issues from the topic at hand. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:28:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Yes, I have photos. Do you have cash, and lots of it? |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:31:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That’s not anybody’s girlfriend. Put the bottle down. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I've become a master of deflection, denial and the joy of alternate realities by keeping a close watch on American politics. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...as a matter of fact, I do have lots of cash. Do you by chance have any type of buyer rewards program? Something good has to come out of this transaction. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and, I'll have you know that I just made my second cup of coffee for the day and did not add anything extra. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 10:50:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Buyers Rewards Program in your case would be as follows: An all expense paid two night three day trip to a well known amusement park in Florida! ( not in any way related to the Disney Corporation ) Provided you pay for all expenses. |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 11:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...does that come with a side salad? |
|
Date: 4/6/2024 11:38:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Yes, but the bacon bits are an additional.50 cents |
|
Date: 4/7/2024 4:48:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It’s been 24 hours and no answer to the riddle, the answer is “ A burrito.” |
|
Date: 4/7/2024 7:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
I totally forgot about the riddle, Hey Larry. "L.D."---In his defense, Hey Larry, he can't remember why he goes into the bathroom, in the morning. kronk---Ugh! |
|
Date: 4/7/2024 7:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
"Life's going nowhere! Somebody help me! Somebody help me, yeah!" (Staying Alive, the BeeGees) "L.D."---Oh, brother! |
|
Date: 4/7/2024 8:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That’s okay, there are times when I cannot recall which came first myself. The burrito or the nearest convenience store or restaurant that had a restroom available during store hours. |
|
Date: 4/9/2024 5:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: Back at the turn of the twentieth century, in certain circles, kronk was known as "The Burrito Kid." kronk---Nobody made a burrito like "Tiah Conchita Rosalina Kruger ." "L.D."---I remember her. She married that dude who came over to Texas after the second Boer War. kronk---That's her, alright. I could eat a six-pack of her burritos in one setting. Never found out what the "active ingredient" in her burritos was, though. She wouldn't tell anyone. When I asked, she just said it was meat. "L.D."--- I know what it was. kronk---How do you know what it was? "L.D."---I know, because I helped her round up the "active ingredient." She gave me a nickel for every armadillo I brought in. kronk---Ugh! |
Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization
