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Date: 2/3/2024 6:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...FLOOR!" kronk---What "are" you going on about, dog? Hey Larry is talking about potatoes, not tequila. "L.D."---Hey, man! Lighten up, will you. It's the first thing I thought about after reading the JOTW. kronk---Ugh! Anyway....Hey Larry  I like all manner of potato dishes. My favorite way to eat potatoes is loaded-baked."L.D."---Sounds about par for your coarse, man.  |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:18:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato……  |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Loaded with cheese, bacon and sour cream! Yeah, that’s the way it should be. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 7:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
I meant to type "course." Is "coarse" even a word? "L.D."---Yes, it is a word. EX: Yes, of course, kronk is a very coarse fellow. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 2/3/2024 7:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I agree! Throw in a 14 oz bone in ribeye and I'm there. "L.D."---I'll trade you my potato, for your bone. "kronk"---Minus the marrow, though. I love that stuff. "L.D."---Ugh!Throw in any fat and gristle and we're good. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 3:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...the other vegetables ARE trying but with the potatoes having a fine advocate such as yourself, how could they possibly compete? Hey Larry is out. You are now to be known as Captain Potato.  |
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Date: 2/3/2024 5:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Give us an example, please, of what other vegetables are even making any attempt. In fact the artichoke. It’s name says it all. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 5:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Ever had any potato vodka? kronk---"Bold and buttery smooth" Want some? "L.D."---Only if you drop a "meat cube" in it. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 2/3/2024 5:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...artichokes haven't got any psychological issues and are pretty much happy as they are and don't feel that they have to prove themselves like a lowly potato. Now, look at beets...beets have so many uses: bet gumbo, beet cocktail, fried ants in a beet infused gravy, groovy beets and the beet goes on. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 5:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...L.D...the visionaries here at HeklerTech are working on something that may very well be of interest to you. At the last company Christmas retreat, on of the people that develop new ideas slipped a frozen moose meat cube into my bottle of rye and while the initial chilling of the beverage was to be desired, the eventual taste of rancid meat offended my sensibilities and I had to move on to something clearer and less prone to practical jokes that get workers fired. A little head scratching ensued and we figured we might make an entry into the upper tier pet food market and sell those frozen cubes to dog owners to put in their good pal's outdoor water dish to cool things down on a hot day and provide a treat when totally thawed, sort of like a Kinder egg. Looking for investors. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...and Hey Larry??? You don't need to bother applying to be an investor. You still owe me royalties on my investment in YOUR silly squirrel paw back scratcher idea that only ever sold one unit - to yourself. My share of the profits in that transaction worked out to fourteen cents. Please send my royalty check soon. At least my ideas are good ideas. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Ive also got a prototype seagull drone in the planning stages. This device will be a Godsend for homeless folks looking to enjoy the true taste of a perfectly cooked steak right off the grill to pair up with that of beet merlot you've been saving for a special occasion. Bon appetit! |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: I feel that I should let you know that, as soon as kronk read your comment, he grabbed his .17 caliber rifle and took off to the garbage dump. I believe that he intends to steal your idea and corner the meat cube market. We only live 200 feet away from "the dump," and I sure that i heard at least 470 rounds discharged. He's probably capping the huge "trash pile rats" that abound there, but he could also be shooting feral hog. When he left, he was mumbling something about "cold-smoke" meat dehydration. I'll keep you posted. P.S.--If your effort requires a dedicated taste tester. I "am" your dog. (I think I hear kronk, now.) kronk---Yo, Dog! How `bout helping me out? I got 38 abandoned chihuahuas, here, that need skinning. "L.D."---Ugh? |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler On any given day, there are at least four thousand seagulls that converge on our garbage dump. We could gather a bunch of wine-heads, give them 12 gauge scatter guns and spread them fifty yards apart on the road across from the dump, ten minutes before sunset, and ambush the birds on their way back to the ocean. "L.D."---You're forgetting that Tivoli, Texas is a bird sanctuary. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...L.D... you'll have to slyly talk Kronk into running for mayor of Tivoli. Make him think it's his own idea and lavish praise on him for his dedication to public service. This is the point where I swoop in with my seagull drone and swipe the hot buttered lobster off of his plate and drop it into the yard next door with the cat. City law will soon change to open season on anything that flies, any time, aircraft included. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...and if he thinks he's going to make a go of it with chihuahua cubes, just sit back and contain your laughter and enjoy the show of failure. All self-respecting dogs won't go near chihuahua. It makes them irritable and irregular. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 6:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I will have to give a nod of approval to Hey Larry for sharing his version of the 3 major food groups in Arkansas: French fries, chips and vodka. |
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Date: 2/3/2024 7:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...L.D...it was good to have a chance to chat with you and Kronk tonight without Hey Larry hovering around like a cloud of foul gas. Ever since he became an ordained minister in his hometown of Igiveup Arkansas, he's gotten this holier-than-thou attitude. It's all ME,ME,ME; look over here but no eye contact or I'll vaporize you with my mind powers. If it gets much worse, I'm moving to Florida where things are saner. |
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Date: 2/4/2024 1:02:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^^ Apparently this member of USM wasn’t quite finished with Festivus even though December 23rd is long gone. However, venting is good because it prevents said Festivus merrymaker from going to jail due to flying a drone with a flaming bag of dog poo onto a neighbors front door. |
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Date: 2/5/2024 5:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: Our boy, kronk, actually did run for mayor. He lost, by a landslide and when he complained about the election results, "they" ran him out of town. We now reside on "the outskirts," downwind of the "Second Harvest Chicken Farm." kronk---We got to move, dog! I've developed a sinus impediment. "L.D."---"New York..Moscow...Hong Kong..Tokyo....Paris & Bangkok.." (Passion, Rod Stewart) kronk---When was the last time you had any lobster? "L.D."---Man..It's been ages. All I ever get around here is "sea bob." kronk---..and what about that cat, nextdoor? "L.D."---I ate it, last week. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 2/5/2024 6:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Get me our contact in Palm Beach! "L.D."---You mean... kronk---"Bembe,'of course. Who else do we know there? "L.D."---Well, there's "The Keeper of the Eternal Flame," but he's out of country until the summer solstice. kronk---We need "papers" for Hekler. Send the bill to Swalwell. "L.D."---Got it. |
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Date: 2/6/2024 2:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
We are quite the affable foursome, eh? "L.D."---Indeed. Thanks for including me, man. kronk---You my dog. |
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Date: 2/7/2024 5:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
The next best thing to being contestants on Family Fued! |
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