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Date: 1/6/2024 4:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
..and this joke is formerly from the land of Crement.  |
Date: 1/6/2024 5:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Crémant, the less effervescent Champagne? What a Compliment!  |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...how was I to know that you were such an expert on the subject? |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and, while probably not the foremost expert, you're at the very least number two. |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSzdNR82E55nK696KY2DjzZTfAldLiYfAyHqQ&usqp=CAU |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:32:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well I don’t like to brag, but I was once mentored by a world class sommelier. I bumped into him…well actually tripped while on my return trip from a busted relationship and had to travel by greyhound bus. Since there was a layover in Albuquerque we spent the night discussing the best wine to serve with a vending machine tuna fish sandwich. |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and, let me guess... that's where you met the Partridge Family, right? |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and while you claim to not liking to brag, your penchant for prevarication shines through. I think I'm going to nickname you 'Larry the Fable Guy". |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I was heavily influenced by shows like “ Fractured Fairy Tales” on the ol’ Rocky & Bullwinkle show. |
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Date: 1/6/2024 6:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
No, it’s was The Flying Burrito Brothers. The partridge family had their own bus if you’ll remember. |
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Date: 1/6/2024 7:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...forgive me. I'm not an authority on buses either. |
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Date: 1/6/2024 11:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
So, what's a "sommelier?" kronk---"A trained and knowledgeable wine professional." "L.D."---Oh, really? Hey Larry's got some pretty cool history about him, you know? kronk---Yes, he does indeed. We have that in common. "L.D."---What sort of "cool history" might you be sharing with Hey Larry? kronk---Well, for your information, I'm a bit of a "sommelier," myself. "L.D."---No??? kronk---Yes, indeed, dog. My emphasis was on fine wines of the 1960s. "L.D."---So, did you work in a restaurant, a bar, or something like that? kronk---No, dog. I was like a free agent, but I've sampled pretty much all of the most famous wines of that particular decade. You know, like "Thunderbird, Lancer's, Ripple, Boone's Farm, Night Train, Muscatel and 20/20. "L.D."---Interesting; now I want a drink. Got any money? kronk---Not much, but for $1.99 we can get 12.7 oz of white cooking wine and it's got 0.05% ABV. "L.D."---We're there!  |
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Date: 1/6/2024 2:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk, L.D.! How's it going? Look, I hate to be the bearer of ill tidings but don't let Hey Larry pull the wool over your eyes. Hey Larry the sommelier? Fat chance of that story being true. I remember, tears ago, I was planning a dinner party and, since he worked in an establishment that was renowned for it's fine cuisine, I had asked him for his advice on what to pair with a prime rib roast. The recommendation? Green Scope. |
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Date: 1/7/2024 4:02:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
.?.^^^^^ with a splash of hydrogen peroxide and one of those cute little umbrellas…… |
Date: 1/7/2024 3:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler!  "L.D." here. Looks like Hey Larry and kronk must have taken the same "Sommelier Course." kronk is in the kitchen trying to turn vinegar into "Chateau D'Yquem Sauternes." |
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Date: 1/7/2024 3:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
That's it! "L.D."---What? kronk---The missing ingredient; hydrogen peroxide! Hey Larry is a genius! Here, dog! Taste this! "L.D."---No thank you. kronk---A little foam won't hurt you. "L.D."---You drink it, then. |
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Date: 1/7/2024 6:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk/L.D.! Look, I hate to be the bearer of ill tidings but don't let Hey Larry pull the wool over your eyes. Hey Larry the genius? Fat chance of that story being true. I remember, years ago, I was planning a dinner party and, having picked him up from the ditch out front on a particularly cold day, invited him in to warm up and join us all for a nice hot home-cooked meal. He promptly excused himself from the table at mealtime, exited to the washroom where he proceeded to drink anything in a liquid form that was in the medicine cabinet. The chance encounter with the green Scope and the hydrogen peroxide was a lucky happenstance and not due to any premeditated formula. |
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Date: 1/7/2024 6:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...if you prefer a little extra kick in your tipple, add a few spritzes of whatever Eau de Toilette to the rim of the glass. Bring a parachute. |
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Date: 1/7/2024 6:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
I suppose this is the point where I have to be socially responsible and warn all readers that my mention of drinking all of the liquids in the medicine cabinet is a very bad idea. This is NOT a Tik Tok challenge! At best you will probably become violently ill and, at worst... (glances towards Hey Larry) |
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Date: 1/8/2024 3:58:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler revels in being the bearer of bad news. If you invite guests into your home then it is only good manners for said guests to have access to the bathroom and the contents there in. Isn’t that what you meant when you told me to …” make yourself at home?” |
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Date: 1/8/2024 4:01:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler’s idea of spritzers must’ve been inspired by the Ty-d-Bowl man while out on his yacht. |
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Date: 1/8/2024 4:05:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
OH! So now you decide to become a public service announcement! The next time you plan a dinner party be sure to have a list of “ Do’s and Don’t s” for your guests! It’s the least you can do Emily Post! |
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Date: 1/8/2024 4:10:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hey Kronk! Is NASCAR popular in your area? Moon Runners are akin to the makers of “ Mountain Dew “ for adults back in the day. I would like to talk with one of their sommelier experts. |
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Date: 1/8/2024 5:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler There was a period in my existence when I could have described, in great detail, all 76 ditches in Tivoli, Texas. "L.D."---Man, that crevasse, east/southeast of "Park n Neck" Point, was "the" place to ride out a blue norther. kronk---You said it, dog. The hot air discharge from the "Calhoun County Lockup" kept it a comfortable 52F if you wedged yourself into that hollowed out spot under the elevated doorway. "L.D."---Sniff...sniff..Those were the days, man. Let's grab a two dollar bottle of something, a headlight and Aunt Harriet's .17 caliber rifle and go pop rats, down by the garbage dump. kronk---Dig it, dog. Let's bring the "charcoal bucket," to. I'm starved. |
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Date: 1/8/2024 5:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry My grandson has two seventies model trucks in his backyard. He says he's gonna' make racers out of `em. "L.D."---Those things run? kronk---Not since the seventies. "L.D."---Ugh! kronk---My grandaddy used to transport moonshine, back in the days of prohibition. He was a dirt poor sharecropper who supplemented his income that way. The old man would take off one night, with his three mules loaded with jugs of booze and travel the fields and back roads, until dawn. He'd find himself a place to stake the mules, get a few hours of sleep and take off again at dusk. His route covered about eighty miles in a circuitous direction, with a handful of stops at "blind pig" speakeasies. "L.D."---Is that true, or did you just make that up? kronk---Have you ever known me to just make something up? "L.D."---Ugh! You should be restricted from posting in any category, other than "Strictly Fiction." |
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