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Date: 10/28/2023 6:29:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Which also made him a bad manager btw....  |
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Date: 10/28/2023 11:24:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
( looks around) ……..( sound of crickets chirping) …… |
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Date: 10/28/2023 11:37:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I would like to take this time to thank Morphix for introducing USM to the various products designed to keep readers away from the JOTW. Let’s have a vote, well if anyone shows up that is. What kept you away from reading and replying to the JOTW today? Was it……. 1. Uncle Hekler’s Sarcasm Serum with the new and improved Brussel Sprout flavor? 2. Kronk’s Dog Scented Air Freshener w / exclusive wet dog smell? 3. Or the thought that family fun at Hey Larry’s Gator Petting Zoo would be better than Yogi Bear stealing your picnic basket? Please vote as often as you like, and if you are one that refrains from alcohol and sarcasm serum, feel free to leave a comment or suggestion that would improve our service for all USM friends. |
Date: 10/28/2023 1:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  Now, I can definitely relate to that one, man."L.D."---Which one? kronk---Ugh! You're killin' me, dog. I'm talking about working for yourself and not being able to use any of the classic excuses, anymore. "L.D."--- You don't work for yourself; you work for Mrs. Kronk. Basically, you're just a grunt. Anyway, where were you for the past week? We had to press "Candy Cane" into service, again. kronk---Well, I got stabbed in the hand by an unknown poisonous sea creature and underwent treatment for that, AND, I also had a foreign object in my right eye. "L.D."---I've already heard the one about the poisonous sea creature. What was in your eye? kronk---After twenty-two minutes of intense prodding, stretching my eyeball, and filling the socket with some liquid that felt like acid, the doctor retrieved a two inch long section of coarse dog hair. "L.D."---I wonder how that got in there? kronk---Ugh!  |
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Date: 10/28/2023 7:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey! Sorry I didn't have a chance to reply earlier or be able to post another tribute to the JOTW as I was on a fun-filled family outing. Just to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you or the JOTW, there is this that I would like to send as a sort of consolation prize: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53293752124_e3b26dc6c1_b.jpg  |
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Date: 10/28/2023 7:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I feel better anyway. |
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Date: 10/28/2023 7:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I remember the good old days when I still had scruples and would show up to do heavy work with cracked ribs/hairline fracture in the femur or whatever else you can think of. And then, take days off because the powers that be refused to let me go on my proclamations of innocence. There may also have been one or two powerful hangovers. I remember hangovers. Those were the good old days. |
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Date: 10/28/2023 7:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...people call me "Pepperidge Farm" because I remember so much. |
Date: 10/29/2023 6:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
Hey Larry, to answer your poll... I guess it would have to be #1. Definitely the best product, no doubt about it.  |
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Date: 10/29/2023 10:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Morphix...it's made in Canada. Word in the wind has it that you are developing your own brand of sore throat lozenges with flavours that shout out "MAPLE LEAF", permafrost and wooly mammoth. This should somehow raise the ire of some American politicians hell-bent on finding a conspiracy in a box of Cracker Jack popcorn. |
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Date: 10/29/2023 11:46:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
We here at USM can always count on reliable and sensible communication from Kronk & L.D! Kronk has a legitimate reason for the painful infliction that occurred, The Man O’War jellyfish. Oh, I have no explanation for what ever caught his eye….not for me to judge. |
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Date: 10/29/2023 11:50:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
When Hekler finally arrived to comment, and had the gall to mention that he had “ scruples “, well it was no surprise to me that he never had a career in politics.. |
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Date: 10/29/2023 11:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Morphix has the right idea by playing to the strengths of what makes humanity the best it can be , albeit through the benefit of snake oil….. |
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Date: 10/29/2023 12:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
As a follow up, Hekler responds with a proud confirmation of wher this snake oil product has originated… |
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Date: 12/15/2023 4:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
I'm hungry. Let's go dig up a woolly mammoth. kronk---Some gene-editing company in "Big D." is working on woolly mammoth "de-extinction." If you can wait until 2027, you won't have to dig one up; you'll be able to run a live one, down. "L.D."---Cool! Keep me informed. There's a barn owl hanging out around the mayor's chicken yard. What do you think? kronk---I dunno' dog? I'm not sure I'm up to that? "L.D."---yeah; "It takes a hard man to eat bowled owl." (Marion `Howdy Lewis' in, The Rounders) |
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Date: 12/21/2023 8:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
It takes a hard man to eat "boiled" owl. Typos! UGH! |
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