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Date: 10/13/2023 11:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...that sounds like me to a T. Always going that extra mile in pursuit of perfection.  |
Date: 10/14/2023 2:36:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You were, no doubt, the inspiration for that slogan “ Reach out and touch someone!”  |
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Date: 10/14/2023 7:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...no, I was the original inspiration for "run away, as fast as you can". |
Date: 10/14/2023 8:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
Turns out Hekler was using acupuncture needles and completely healed Hey Larry of his back pain.  |
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Date: 10/14/2023 8:41:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Not only that Morphix, but it has broken his streak of incessant complaining! |
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Date: 10/14/2023 10:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...who is complaining??? All I was saying is that ever since I first started reading the JOTW my rate of neuronal cell death has multiplied exponentially. Why would you ever consider that to be a complaint? |
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Date: 10/14/2023 10:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Ah! It's October again and from a clue given above, Hallowe'en is right around the corner and this is the best time of the year to find those favorite candy types you craved as a child. Stocking up on the mini Tootsie Rolls and fruit flavored Tootsie Roll chews which have the unfortunate inclusion of those disgusting vanilla chews which will now be given to someone that likes to eat out of the cat box. |
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Date: 10/14/2023 10:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...now Hey Larry will complain that I was singling him out again. |
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Date: 10/14/2023 10:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...this is how I reacted to today's "joke": https://media0.giphy.com/media/JsUoy8b2ZbgIw/200.webp?cid=ecf05e47y5dab1o4ueb3abblzyrlwe0brx2ninsmdzlz0m5n&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=200.webp&ct=g |
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Date: 10/14/2023 10:46:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
No need to thank me for making you a better person. We here at USM kind of knew that you really weren't that grumpy old man that screams a children for getting too close to the front lawn... |
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Date: 10/14/2023 10:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...living in Canada, I can't use the American method of shooing kids off the lawn so I spent the ammo money on Hallowe'en candy instead and tied an angry badger to the tree out front to give children the evil eye. Seems to be working. |
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Date: 10/14/2023 11:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...looks like I forgot to add a "t" to the eleventh word. Please keep this in mind as I hate to leave loose ends untied. |
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Date: 10/14/2023 11:36:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
So, I am going to go out on a limb here and ask if you get any children returning to your place a second time after passing out those " treats" you hand out every Halloween? And for a follow up question, how many times has the exterior of your place been " redecorated with rotten eggs an toilet paper? |
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Date: 10/14/2023 5:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...HA! I used to give out the very BEST Hallowe'en treats. I still remembered all the good stuff kids liked and put a lot of all of them into each treat bag. The other "treats" you mentioned were best kept in the hands of responsible adults and myself. I never got egged or T.P'd likely as a result of not living in your neighborhood. There were no empty liquor bottles left littering the front yard either. |
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Date: 10/14/2023 5:31:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You’ll excuse me if I doubt that responsible adults and yourself somehow don’t make a bit of sense. Responsible doesn’t describe you. Which leads me to suspect that the neighborhood that you reside in has learned to stay away from your residence altogether. As far as “ the good stuff “ you mentioned, yeah, handing out free passes to the local “ Adult Entertainment Club “ for children who are innocent to the wicked ways of the world is absolutely shameful. I seriously think that your definition of “ BEST” refers to your collection of aluminum cans and empty bottles to cash in for recycling….therefore you can begin to recycle all over again. |
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Date: 10/15/2023 6:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"L.D." went on a three month sabbatical from his position as tenured professor of biology at Cornell University (specializing in moose) and I got the opportunity to rummage through his things. I was shocked to find a______... "L.D."---You went through my things? kronk---Of course. If you'd have had such an opportunity, to go through "my" things, wouldn't you have done it? "L.D."---I see your point. Pray tell, what "did" you find? kronk---I found a bald, three fingered, "Ken" doll, wearing a cloak, in a shoebox. The cloak looked like it was fashioned out of one of my cashmere socks that turned up missing, a while back. The doll's left knee had 37 straight pins inserted into it's "posterior cruciate ligament." "L.D."---Do say? kronk---Is that all you have to say? "L.D."---No kronk---Well? "L.D."---I thought that yesterday's JOTW was especially entertaining. kronk---Ugh!  |
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Date: 10/15/2023 6:46:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! Well your sensory perception isn’t far off, just remember to let your answering machine pick up any strange or unknown incoming phone calls. |
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