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Date: 10/4/2023 5:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Ah, yes; the early "precambrian" period. I remember it well, and I also remember placing the particular order that you refer to. As I recall, the weather was extremely hot and humid, (It was always extremely hot and humid in those days.) and I had subsisted on a diet of "obligately anaerobic photoautotrophic bacteria" for a couple of generations, and felt that a change was in order. Besides, that particular bacteria gave me the worst gas. Anyway, I sent a text to my man, "Ghophait" at "the Cauldron," and ordered the "Giant Mekong Delta Catfish Platter," (187 lbs.) a small order of horse shoe crab, and a Coca-Cola." Well, let me tell you, I had my taste buds primed and cocked for catfish and what do I end up with? Cold "diploid cyprinid" on rye, and an "Orange Crush!" I've been calling and complaining for the last 793,000,527 years and "they" won't return my signal. Ugh!  |
Date: 10/4/2023 6:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
This is all “ Fake News.” Why you ask? Well,ever since Rupert Murdoch decided to finally retire and step down from the misinformation network that made him tons of money he chose to have Hekler run the tabloid business instead of his AI creation named Lachlan. It’s only fitting due to the overwhelming amount of “ reality “ shows that are staged in order to get viewers into their own fantasy narrative.  |
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Date: 10/5/2023 10:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
The aliens were reportedly searching for intelligent lifeforms in the galaxy. They came across Earth's radio signals and the JOTW. Afterwards, they concluded that intelligent life does not exist on Earth. When asked if they would ever return, X'hfif from the Alpha Centauri system is quoted as saying "Uh...Maybe we should just be friends...We're not really looking for commitment right now.. Ok, uh, yeah, I gotta go..."  |
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Date: 10/5/2023 4:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Have you been cheating on me? kronk---What? "L.D."---You heard me. "I heard it through the grapevine " that you were "talking to a dog." kronk---What do you mean, cheating? We both identify as male and besides that, "talking to a dog" is not cheating. "L.D."---So! You admit it! kronk---Admit what? "L.D."---Come clean immediately, or I'll bite you! kronk---What? I didn't do anything! You're getting extremely upset over nothi___ Ouch! You bit me! "L.D."---Grrrrrrrr...! kronk---OUCH!! You bit me again! Mrs. Kronk---If you two don't stop, I'll get the golf club! "L.D." & kronk---Yes, Ma'am |
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Date: 10/5/2023 5:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"Can we film the operation? Is the head dead, yet? You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet, Get the widow on the set! We need dirty laundry." (Dirty Laundry, by Don Henley) Do you think "Hey Larry" is talking about "our" Rupert Murdoch? kronk---Probably. How many people with the name Rupert Murdoch do you know? "L.D."---Two. The guy who owns the " American multinational conservative news and political commentary television channel and website based in New York City," and then there's "Howling Mad Murdock," from the A-Team. kronk---One name has an "H." The other name has a "K." "L.D."---Let's borrow a couple of grand from "H" and go and party with "K." kronk---Let's do it, my dog! |
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Date: 10/5/2023 6:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Morphix, I’m merely doing whatever it takes to serve not only my country, but preserving humanity as we know it. Besides, it only goes to show that aliens haven’t got a sense of humor. Case in point, Hekler. BTW, what planet are you originally from? |
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Date: 10/5/2023 6:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Don Henley called it, as well as Sandinista activists.. “ All She Wants To Do Is Dance.” I |
Date: 10/6/2023 4:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 54570
sucked in again.......  |
Date: 10/6/2023 4:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
 Yep I'm still running in the Shadows... Fleetwood Mac....Yeeharrrr!!!!  |
Date: 10/6/2023 9:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
 Hey Larry, thank you for your service! The JOTW Dull jokes And humour Fatigue Tactics (lovingly known as D.A.F.T® worked beautifully and prevented a potential alien takeover! You are deserving of a metal of honour (...but there was some worry that you may try to eat the metal thinking there was chocolate inside). As for what planet I'm from -- I think I'm from Earth, but maybe I'm from the sun because people keep saying how bright I am!  |
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Date: 10/6/2023 10:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Morphix, are you sure that the alien nation you originated from didn't just put you up for adoption? After all , Canada is a friendly country and they even took Hekler in if you can believe it. Thanks for the kind words and no I don't eat metal nor lead paint chips, that's something alien's do . |
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Date: 10/6/2023 4:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
What do you know about a "Root Caller?" kronk---Not much. What is that? "L.D."---I'm not sure, but it seems that we "need" to get to it, fast. kronk---Exactly "how" fast? I'm right in the middle of a movie, at the moment. "L.D."---What's the movie? kronk---"The day the entire world took a pill." "L.D."---Ugh? |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:01:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...don't you just hate it when the kitchen makes a substitution for your order and hopes you won't notice? Why, just last week, I was at this upscale French bistro and had a hankering for a nice garden salad. What the waiter dropped off was the Pail-O-Plankton. I was immediately suspicious because my salads had never come with a handle before. It's never too late to become a wise consumer. I sent it back and got the Tetes a la Mackerel Avec Fromage instead. I don't know what it was but had the feling I was being watched.  |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...oh, Id like to apologize to you all for getting back to you so late. I was planning a funeral. Not for myself mind you but for someone else. It took a while to shake those feelings but I'm better now. |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:05:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...fake news you say Hey Larry? Or, should we just unveil your true identity as Bat Boy and leave it for the readers to decide? |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:11:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Morphix...if one can assume that the aliens must be incredibly intelligent to be able to fashion a craft capable of interstellar travel, why weren't they smart enough to avoid the JOTW? |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:14:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...L.D...check under the front seat of Kronk's truck. If he's been cheating on you with another dog, that's where you'll likely find the evidence. |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Excuses, excuses. I suppose that the next post of yours will be about trying to be a poet. |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:28:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...me...a poet? Stow it. |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:41:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry... as to my origins, I'm from the south of France. |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:44:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Smokn Joe...better to think of it as a public service message instead of being "sucked in". THERE! You can hold your head high once again! |
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Date: 10/7/2023 5:47:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Zema...we know you're out there. Protecting us from ourselves and all the nasty creatures that roam freely in the night. And we love it! Problem is, These JOTWs are posted in the daylight. In full view of children! |
Date: 10/7/2023 7:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Smokin Joe  Good to read you, man. Those guys, Hekler & Hey Larry, certainly can bring us all together."L.D."---Yeah; all seven of us. kronk---Six people and a dog can initiate great change, if they're working together. "L.D."---Thanks for including me. That was very considerate. kronk---Sure thing. You mah dog, dog. "L.D."---What changes can we initiate? kronk---I'll have to get back with you, on that one. "L.D."---Ugh! |
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Date: 10/7/2023 8:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Zema I've always enjoyed "Fleetwood Mac." I've had folk say things like, "You actually like Fleetwood Mac?" "L.D."---Got that right! Anyone says that to me is in grave danger of being bitten. kronk---Yep; they be ROKKIN'! Good to read you, sister. |
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Date: 10/7/2023 8:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
"Morphix" must be from The Great White North? kronk---What makes you think that? "L.D."---I read his comment and suddenly began hallucinating about hundreds of thousands "moose" migrating across the St. Lawrence river. kronk---Ugh! If someone says "Bullwinkle," you start hallucinating about moose. "L.D."---Yes!!! It's a beautiful sight! Say it, again! kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 10/13/2023 11:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
Hekler the kids are used to the JOTW, they love them |
Date: 10/14/2023 4:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
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Date: 12/17/2023 9:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
It's always good to hear from you brother Kronk |
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