|
|
Date: 9/25/2023 1:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 55251
Trump will likely win the republican nomination, unless he is in prison. Biden will likely win the democratic nomination, unless he makes a major blunder. Biden will likely win the presidential election, unless he makes a major blunder or there is a low voter turnout. Trump will insinuate that the election was "stolen" again, and whine every day 'till his last day on this Earth. |
Date: 9/25/2023 5:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
My prediction for what it’s worth , Hekler will become Trump’s lead lawyer after Alan Dershowitz gets peeved and quits after not getting paid for services rendered. Hekler will suggest that Trump pay upfront for his services, after all, who can resist “ The Three Card Monty” package deal. Trump hesitates, making Hekler nervous. So Hekler decides to throw his support behind aliens from another galaxy whose planetary system is being gobbled up by a black hole. The planet Earth as we know it becomes enslaved to another entity because the aliens are smarter than Hekler, not to mention the originators of “ The Three Card Monty.” |
Date: 9/25/2023 9:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry. You're trying to bait me. It worked. You tried to rile me by suggesting that I would have anything at all to do with Trump, even if paid up front or for a good tip on the eighth race. BUT! The more I thought about being counsel for Trump, the more I liked the idea. I'd still demand compensation up front to pay for the fines I will be incurring. I'd do it for free but I'm not a billionaire. The big day comes. I sit at the defense table. My client is mysteriously missing. Opening my briefcase just a crack, I pull out a thick file of blank paper. As the trial begins, I reach into my briefcase and pull out a bottle of Screech. Surreptitiously pouring a healthy serving into a red Solo cup (trying to be discreet), I settle into my chair and let one rip in Hey Larry's general direction. There's now some sour looking faces in the five front rows. And glaring at Hey Larry for I am also an accomplished ventriloquist and the crowd suspects him to be the culprit. I digress. I decorate my Solo cup with a cocktail umbrella upon which I have speared two soft Rolaids to ease my later pain. I introduce the Chewbacca defense, my ace-in-the-hole. If I find myself disagreeing with the prosecution or a witness, I can then reach into my attache and start flinging some monkey poop around. The empty Screech bottle is my back-up. This is my time! I abruptly stand and yell OBJECTION! My client objects to this whole farcical witch hunt led by the EVIL JOE BIDEN and the COMMUNISTS, MARXISTS and LIVING CAST MEMBERS OF "HAPPY DAYS". Let's all go for I beer I say, Mr. Trump is buying! This is about the time that everyone attacks me and I go to jail and the poop covered jury votes to convict. I think I'd be a good lawyer. NOW, FOR MY U.S. ELECTION PREDICTIONS Biden, now with new cybernetic implants, wins the election and leaps over fifteen buses. Every American gets a sack of potatoes and some hardtack. LGBTQ+ friendly people cautiously raise their flags once again and hardline right-wingers turn to cinders upon seeing one. Trump loses the election and still runs the business from his cell on Rikers Island, tossing prohibited messages over the wall, disguised with poop, to Don Jr. and the other one. Awaiting yet another trial for throwing monkey poop at an U.A.W. event and "campaign" stop. Those guys reacted rather badly. Probably COMMUNISTS or MARXISTS or HIRSUTE WOMEN! THE ALSO-RANS Mike Pence: It will be a dismal run for Pence but you have to admire his "stick-to-it" attitude. Pence may have fared better in the polls had he actually been hanged and would collect the votes of all the bleeding heart independents and undecideds. Vivek Ramawhatsit: Moronic is in and this guy has got his corner covered. Lots of great ideas if you have always dreamed of having your yacht explode beneath you. Might have fared better in the southern states if he had changed his first name to Dodge. Ron DeSantis: Batteries wore out or sleeping. Does not like to be woke. Tim Scott: Yep. Nikki Haley: Drops out of race and joins the Kari Lake Traveling Roadshow. Chris Christie: Exploded after eating just one tiny after-dinner mint. That's how I see it going. |
Date: 9/25/2023 11:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...if I lived in the U.S., I'd do a write-in for Yellowstone volcano explosion. |
Date: 9/26/2023 3:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
I think that the democratic candidate (doesn't really matter who it is) will literally "steal" the election. "L.D."---What kind of a prediction is that? kronk---It's "my" prediction, that's what it is. I had a dream about the outcome of the election. "L.D."---I heard the commotion coming from your bedroom, last night! Sounded like you were moaning and calling out loud for someone named Marjorie. kronk---Not that dream! I had another dream. "L.D."---What was her name? kronk---Ugh! |
Date: 9/26/2023 3:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Did you read that! kronk---What? "L.D."---Hekler is actually a defense attorney and he's got "Big Red' for a client. kronk---That "is" heavy. Hekler is a pretty smoooooooth talker. If anyone can get Red off the hook, he's the one. He'll probably get rich in the process, too. "L.D."---Yeah; Red is pretty generous with his money. If he doesn't get convicted, the word on the street is he's coming out with a new show called, "Snark Tank." kronk---This could be the start of something extremely BIG! We could say that we knew Hekler when he just an average guy. Hey, wanna' go downtown? "L.D."---What's there? kronk---Some dude named "Ramawhatsit" sitting on a collapsible bench over a "Dunk Tank." Six balls for a dollar. Shall we? "L.D."---Sounds like fun. |
Date: 9/26/2023 6:08:00 PM From Authorid: 5940 Yeah, well my money is on the aliens . Hekler can talk a good game, but he got his law degree online from the University of Marshall Islands. |
Date: 9/26/2023 6:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
You really have to watch out when dealing with aliens. Kronk---What do you mean? "L.D."---Remember the time we got exiled to "Planet Poku-Gut?" kronk---Dog!...I was trying to erase that period from my memory bank. I've never been so stressed out. "L.D."---Yeah...Eigh long years of never knowing if your number would come up on the bi-weekly food lottery. Shades of "Soylent Green" flashbacks! kronk---Got anything to eat? All this talk of cannibalistic aliens has got me hungry. "L.D."---Let's go up to "DC" and kidnap the president's dog. I know how to mimic the mating call of an "Apple-head Chihuahua." kronk---Dog, you just good! |
Date: 9/26/2023 6:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"L.D."---Man...You forgot the "T." kronk---Ugh! |
Date: 9/27/2023 6:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Man; never stand in the way of a Super Power! kronk---What do you mean by that? "L.D."---Look what "they" did to the "Bikini Atoll!" kronk---Yeah; it's a good thing we bugged out when we did. |
Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization