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Date: 8/12/2023 8:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...once again I come in to read what you put out here as a joke and yet once again you give your readers the "Tonya Harding" treatment.  |
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Date: 8/12/2023 8:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Eat your kale! "L.D."---Yo, man! Do I look like a rabbit? kronk---It's been said that kale is a super food. "L.D."---No way, man! If we're talking super food; "moose" is a super food. kronk---Yeah, well. you can't just go to the market and pick up a moose, around here. "L.D."---I'm moving to Manitoba! kronk---Ugh!  |
Date: 8/12/2023 9:04:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler, I wish that you’d leave your girlfriend out of this. So she coerced you into a bad decision, get over it. BTW, eat your vegetables.  |
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Date: 8/12/2023 9:05:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Kale…….the reason why most Americans are overweight… |
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Date: 8/12/2023 9:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...yeah. Why eat kale when you can just hop in the car and take a two minute drive to "Bucket 'O' Lard". |
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Date: 8/12/2023 9:54:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hey, it’s a secret family recipe that the Colonel prides himself in as far as fast food institutions go. Finger licking good! |
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Date: 8/12/2023 10:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I blame it all on fundamentalist preachers and on the sheep that they fleece for donations. HAIL-EE-LOO-YAH! The Lard is near! |
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Date: 8/12/2023 10:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! And these days, nearer to thee is a metaphor for “ Call 911” cuz my arteries are clogged and I see a white light! |
Date: 8/12/2023 8:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 55251
I can't wait for your cookbook to be published Mr.Larry. I hear your pumpernickel and kale sandwiches are an experience you never forget.   |
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Date: 8/13/2023 12:56:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
If that makes your mouth water, just wait till you see what I do to make poutine more palatable! |
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Date: 8/13/2023 6:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Morphix...Hey Larry believes that adding squirrel entrails to his dishes adds a little extra something. But it's nothing you would want to eat. |
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Date: 8/13/2023 6:55:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It was Hekler’s idea from the start. He claimed that if Julia Childs could master the art of cooking on PBS, then there’s no reason why he couldn’t master the art of the deal. Hekler won’t eat crow, but roadkill is never off he table. True story. |
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Date: 8/13/2023 10:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'm sure that all of us want to see more of Hey Larry's Dumpster Dining recipes. |
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Date: 8/13/2023 11:30:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You always gave it rave reviews, not to mention the sterling forward at the beginning of the book… |
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Date: 8/13/2023 2:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
By kracky! I do believe that must've been the "final straw." kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 8/13/2023 2:14:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hi Kronk, good to c u… |
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Date: 8/13/2023 2:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Very strange times. "They" told me there would be issues, but I never... "L.D."---I'm afraid! Take me to the coliseum! kronk---You wouldn't be safe there. The place is in ruins. "L.D."--Save us, Hey Larry! You're our only hope! |
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Date: 8/13/2023 2:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
What "is" that noise? kronk--What you talkin' `bout, dog? That's "CREAM," by "Prince and the new power generation!" "L.D."---Ohhhh, YEAH! ....LOUDER !!!! |
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Date: 8/13/2023 2:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
What'd he mean by "was?" "L.D."---Ugh? kronk---I AM "Buckwheat!" |
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Date: 8/13/2023 2:44:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
John Lennsang about this back on “ Double Fantasy “….right? |
Date: 8/14/2023 3:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 55251
August 2023 - I was here when Hey Larry broke USM!  A message to future Internet historians: After Hey Larry made this post, all new posts resulted in 404 errors due to a bug that resulted in new post numbers becoming truncated. This post was the last functioning post. I believe Hekler warned us many times that the JOTW "would be the death of this place", but we didn't listen. Now we must reap what we have sowed. |
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Date: 8/14/2023 6:18:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^ I accept no responsibility and have done nothing wrong! |
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Date: 8/14/2023 6:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Well, we got through that one, unscathed. "L.D."---Ugh! What about Hekler? kronk---Oh, I'm sure he's fine. The man is extremely resilient. "L.D."---I want six "Ballpark franks." kronk---Sounds good to me. Let's make it an even dozen? "L.D."---Do it! |
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Date: 8/14/2023 6:59:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! Not only is Hekler resilient, I have it on good authority that he was the inspiration for Dr. Evil in those Austin Powers movies. Why his man cave was one of the shooting locations for that “ Secret Lair.” |
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Date: 8/15/2023 4:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...you want to know how resilient I am? It was one of those happy mistakes that sometimes happen. I was getting a blood draw one day and some of my blood got exposed to the outside air and by this chemical reaction, altered itself into something as stretchy as those "JUICY" yoga pants but would contract back to it's original size when the strain was removed. I took these observations to an independent lab and they managed to synthetically recreate the properties of my astounding blood. You might have seen this new compound advertised on your television as HEKLERITE (patent pending). It can be found in the waistbands of those plaid pants old guys wear (The Hey Larry Collection) and also might be found in key areas of plus-size women's undergarments. Investors are welcomed! |
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Date: 8/15/2023 6:00:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^ You should use a theme song but without paying royalties. Most politicians do. In your case, “Rubber Band Man” by The Spinners. |
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Date: 8/15/2023 9:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I bought this 45 rpm record for my younger brother about 60 years ago but you can use it as your theme song if you'd like. Just remember to substitute the name LARRY for LENNY and you're golden. https://youtu.be/ko0N7TRuKhU |
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Date: 8/16/2023 4:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Lol! You’re too good to me! |
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Date: 8/16/2023 4:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...you're right. I am. |
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Date: 8/18/2023 7:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Juicy J. Cox "L.D."---Ugh? kronk---I just had a flashback! "L.D."---Well....Care to share? kronk---Sure I worked with a guy named Juicy J. Cox."L.D."---I remember that guy. He was a few eggs short of a dozen, as I recall. Didn't he put a half dozen live jumbo crabs in some dude's bunk, one night? kronk---Yes, he did. He put those crabs in "Poco Rojo's" bed and Rojo about destroyed the whole bunk house trying to get those crabs off himself. "L.D."---Whatever happened to those two, anyway? I forget. kronk---Well, Poco Rojo is serving time in "Reeves County" for selling game fish without a license. "L.D."---Really? They put you in prison for that? kronk---Yeah; when you're trying to sell 30,000 lbs. of the stuff. "L.D."---Ugh! What about Juicy J. Cox? kronk---He's got himself a government job, these days. He's in charge of security on the Southern Border. Ugh! |
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