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Date: 7/21/2023 6:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
You know, Hey Larry is a real standup guy. "L.D."---Yes, he is certainly that. Does my heart good to see a person who actually seems to care about his fellow creatures. kronk---For sure. Which of the two jokes did you enjoy the most? "L.D."---Well, being a dog, I'm not that interested in female humans, so I suppose the fart joke was my favorite. What about you? kronk---Well, since female humans are not that interested in me, anymore; I guess I'll go with the fart joke, also. "L.D."---I'm bored. What can we do? kronk---I know! Let's go eat a couple bowls of pork & beans, then ride up and down crowded elevators, cutting farts. "L.D."---What a gas! kronk---Hey Larry  Welcome back, amigo.  |
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Date: 7/22/2023 4:06:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Kronk! L.D.! Good yo see you as well. Yep, it seems we had withdrawal symptoms for a moment last week. Have fun in the elevator, lol!  |
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Date: 7/22/2023 8:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I don't know what it is about your fixation on old men but since the jokes are passable this week and you have more or less atoned for missing the JOTW last week, I'll give it a pass. The part I found to be most funny is that I too am looking for a wife with the same description as the second old guy in the second joke - 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and and wearing short shorts. Luck has not been with me so far as each woman that I "meet" with these qualifications first laugh, then spits on me and finally beats the tar out of me and then steals my pants, shoes and wallet. The dating scene seems to have gotten tougher than in the times that I can recall.  |
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Date: 7/22/2023 8:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...as far as the first joke is concerned, I have no difficulties whatsoever with either my sinuses or hearing. I have earned the right to do this. |
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Date: 7/22/2023 8:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...afterthought...I was really expecting a picture of you in makeup as the title implies. Once again, you have let your readers down and now I have nothing to put in the corn field to scare away the crows and other vermin. I can almost imagine the smug look on your face. |
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Date: 7/22/2023 8:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
I, |
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Date: 7/22/2023 8:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
will not be getting into any elevator containing another older fellow and his gassy dog. |
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Date: 7/22/2023 8:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
First you say you're going to let thing slide and now you want me to wear makeup? Are you sure you are trying to date the right species? |
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Date: 7/22/2023 9:00:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Wearing a London Fog raincoat in summer weather is usually a tip off to women..fyi |
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Date: 7/22/2023 9:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It's good to know that you are comfortable in your own skin. Not many are as daring to go with the " Ted Kuzsinski" look today. |
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Date: 7/22/2023 11:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: We had the best time riding that elevator! At least, I did, anyway. kronk and I had it coordinated perfectly. We held "the gas" until our elevator filled up with people, then kronk jumped in just as the door began to close and then he began to fart. (At the last minute, I decided to wait in the lobby.) kronk---Traitor! Why didn't you tell me that the seventeen people in the elevator were all members of the "Raging Dragon Killer Elite Kung Fu Club." They were all headed up and I was subjected to 47 floors worth of close in fighting, on a slow elevator. "L.D."---hehehe...What a gas! |
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Date: 7/23/2023 5:27:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^ Now is that a true test of friendship or what? |
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Date: 7/24/2023 12:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." has an unnatural fixation, as far as blood is concerned. As long as the blood is not his. "L.D."---Hey, man! I'm a carnivore. It's like, in my genes. Oh, looks like you scraped your ankle. I'll have a look. My saliva is rumored to have antimicrobial and healing properties. kronk---Keep your saliva away from me, dog! |
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Date: 7/24/2023 8:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...L.D... we have a pair of elevators in the building in which I live. The building and grounds are very well maintained except for the fact that the elevators are OLD and due to be totally replaced in January. One of the two elevators likes to surprise people. It unilaterally decides which floor it will stop at and sometimes takes hostages which necessitates a call to your local fire-boys to come on down and release the next contestant on "This Elevator Is ____________________ ( fill in the blank with an appropriate G-rated exclamation) Sometimes that same elevator goes on strike and won't go back to work without getting a whole pile of Unobtanium new parts. Archeologists in Pompeii are daily digging up new original equipment for this elevator but the real issue here is the exchange rate between the Canadian dollar and spaghetti. Spaghetti has a higher intrinsic value than the Canadian dollar at the moment and I think we're holding pretty well and steady at One Spaghetti = $10.00 CAD. Now, complaining has never been my cup of tea but don't you just hate it when you're going down in an elevator, you stop at a floor below, someone rolls in their collection of two week old fermenting trash and you could almost swear that there's a little hint of diaper in there too. Sometimes, the roles are reversed. The trash is A-okay but the flies are circling the person. And you wonder: Will any of these flies follow me home? Sometimes they do so you have to go on extra long walks, to malls, Walmart, anywhere you think there may be a selection of other people on which you may be able to shed that/those fly(s). And then you hustle it out of there. Don't stop to look at the new state-of-the-art toilet plunger - GO~! PART 1 OVER |
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Date: 7/24/2023 8:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...in my previous reply, I made mention of "fire-boys". This was not an intentionally made slur on firemen everywhere. Brave men doing a really tough job. It's just that I've been around long enough and some of most of these firemen look like they're of an age to have stolen the fire truck and taken it for a joyride and brought their best girls along too. Kudos to the women that have shown that they too have what it takes and can eat grit too. ...anyone else here now wanting to jack a firetruck and go cruising? |
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Date: 7/24/2023 9:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'm losing it. It must be insight night. I was just contemplating the merits of Hey Larry's JOTW and even though most of the jokes are devastatingly bad, but those same nausea-inspiring jokes inspires others to come in and attempt to save the day by often adding their own thoughtful and oftentimes exponentially funnier replies in an effort to draw away attention from that mess at the top of the page while I add a further distraction by throwing excrement at the walls. How many people here think that "excrement" is an ugly word? I was originally going to write poop but I didn't know if "poop" was G-rated. But it doesn't sound as bad. Which would you rather have on your shoes? Let's ask Geraldo... |
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Date: 7/24/2023 9:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...L,D...you like blood? Talk to Ernie down at the Red Cross. Slip him fifty bucks and he'll fix you up with a few pints of whatever they got extra that week. It's a pretty good deal. Tell him I sent you and get an extra 1% off. Getting hard to refuse and you look like something of of a Pavlovian experiment. Go fetch boy! |
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Date: 7/24/2023 9:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...no, I have NOT been drinking. |
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Date: 7/24/2023 9:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...dang! I thought I had b-beat the stuttering. |
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Date: 7/25/2023 5:00:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^ Someone was up very late last night drinking a lot of coffee! Insomnia perhaps? |
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Date: 7/25/2023 7:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Oh, Lordy! "L.D."---What's up with you? kronk---"Naughty Pictures ca8ght on Drone" Warning: Some of these images are not suitable for all viewers, "L.D."---What kind of ads are "they" allowing, these days. kronk---Hush, dog! "L.D."---Don't you dare click on that! You're supposed to be setting an example. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 7/30/2023 10:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
I need fifty dollars, quick! kronk---For what? "L.D."---Blood! kronk---Why? Are you bleeding, or something? "L.D."---I feel anemic. kronk---Well, go run something down. "L.D."---It's too hot to go out. There's a heat advisory in effect. kronk---OK, then; go lock yourself up in your coffin and wait until the sun goes down. "L.D."---Alright, I will, but first there's something I need to do. kronk---What?....OUCH! You bit me! "L.D."---Mwah ha ha ha.... |
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