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Date: 5/27/2023 4:04:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler got up bright and early one weekend and headed to the local river. He fished all day long but didn’t catch a thing. On the way home, he stopped at the fish market. “I want to buy the three biggest Steelhead you’ve got,” he said to the owner. The owner starts to bag up his order when Jim says, “No need for that, just throw them at me.” “Why would I do that?” the owner asked. “So I can tell my wife that I caught three fish today!”  |
Date: 5/27/2023 6:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
I don't like to fish, but I do like to sit on boat and do nothing. Is there a difference?  |
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Date: 5/27/2023 8:01:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Not really. A bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work. |
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Date: 5/27/2023 8:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
Fishing? How does that work? Cousins and I used to go fishing all the time but all we really caught was a hangover the next day along with lobster skin. Full weekends of debauchery (minus the promiscuity part) and practical jokes.  |
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Date: 5/27/2023 8:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and the reason that most wives frown on their husbands going fishing is because the "going fishing" excuse just means that they're off to get plastered and injure themselves. Wives have an uncanny intuitional aptitude. |
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Date: 5/27/2023 9:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
So, you're the bad influence that led your cousins down "Debauchery Road." Minus the promiscuity probably meant that the cousins knew exactly when to draw the line. |
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Date: 5/27/2023 9:05:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Yeah, and besides that giving you a bop in the head with frying pan didn't seen to add any deterrent whatsoever. |
Date: 5/27/2023 4:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "They" came to my community lake and sprayed herbicide all over the place! "L.D." is all depressed about it and we had to find a different place to exercise him. "L.D."---Yeah! So, where does "he" bring me? An abandoned natural gas pumping location, no less! kronk---Don't be such a baby. "They" assured me that that place was totally and Intrinsically safe. "L.D."---Oh, yeah? My fur smells like mercaptan and my left hind paw is turning a tangerine color. kronk---Don't be such a baby. I can't eat any fish out of the lake for thirteen months.....OUCH!!! "L.D."---Grrrrr  |
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Date: 5/27/2023 5:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Well? What are you doing back here? kronk---I'm extremely restless. "L.D."---Take me for a walk. That salt pork you fed me for dinner gave me gas. kronk---My knee hurts. Go stand in the corner in another room. OUCH!!! "L.D."---Ahhhh I feel so much better, now. |
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Date: 5/27/2023 5:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Are you referring to the aliens that you can only detect when wearing special sunglasses from that sci fi movie “ They Live?” Well Ihave a feeling that “ They” are among us and we don’t need no special glasses to see who “ They” really are. Be careful you two. |
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Date: 5/27/2023 5:45:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
So what’s wrong with being near an abandoned natural gas location? “ They” said it was safe, right? Oh Captain, Mercaptan, I fear this trip we’re done for…. |
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Date: 5/30/2023 5:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I once knew a girl who insisted that she was constantly getting abducted by aliens. "L.D."---I remember that one. Wasn't her name "Ah-Leah<" or something? kronk---No, dog. You're thinking of my third cousin on my great grandfather's side; Ahleah O'Rourke. She worked for NASA, "in the back room," and was responsible for confusing the general public. The girl I'm talking about is named "Mio Mia," from out in Flatbush. She thought she was one of those sirens, and that any and all rational males should immediately respond when she called. "L.D."---Oh, yeah! I remember her. She had a voice that sounded like a storm crow. I had to plug my ears with wax, whenever she came around. Whatever happened to her, anyway? kronk---Nobody really knows for sure, but rumor has it that she was hitching on I-84 and got picked up a flying saucer that made off in the general direction of the Sargasso Sea. "L.D."---Let's head down to the coast and pick through the mats of seaweed. I've got "a feeling." kronk---Sure; why not. I'm off tomorrow. "L.D."---You'd better tighten up, man. I think that "Candy Cane" is looking to take your spot on the crab boat. kronk---I'm not worried. "L.D."---You should be worried. Candy is smart, aggressive, a lot better looking than you are and she smells b etter, too. kronk---Ugh! |
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