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Date: 4/29/2023 5:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  My sense of direction is______ Hey! What's the idea cutting me off?"L.D."---I felt it was necessary, for the reader's sake. You're were about to start bragging about your "non-existent" sense of direction, again. kronk---I'll have you know that my sense of direction is _______ You did it again! "L.D."---Yes, and I'll keep my paw on the delete button as long as you keep on lying. You have no sense of direction. You can hardly find your way to the "7-11," without a road map and you've been living here for years. kronk---"They" keep changing the street names. "L.D."---What...ever? “I have never been lost but I was bewildered once for three days.” ― Daniel Boone you've  |
Date: 4/29/2023 5:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Ugh! I hate it when it does that! (― Why does it do that?"L.D."---Buy me a couple of extra long corn dogs and I'll tell you. kronk---Ugh! |
Date: 4/29/2023 7:55:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I tell you who has lost his sense of direction ( as well as his senses ) Heckler. It's as if he were playing hide and see, but all to well.  |
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Date: 4/29/2023 7:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry It's thawing up in the great white north and I would imagine that our Hekler is on the move. "L.D."---I need expense money! kronk---What for? "L.D."---The Great White North is thawing; you said it yourself! That means the moose are moving, too. I'm running low on moose meat. Ten Grand should take care of my expenses for a week. kronk---WHAT! No way, dog! Anyway, you've been promoted to "First Mate" of the crab boat and it "is" crab season. You can't take time off, now. Besides that, you never had any moose meat, in the first place. How could you be running low? "L.D."---Eh....Just give me the money. kronk---NO!....OUCH! You bit me! "L.D."---Get use to it. |
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Date: 4/30/2023 6:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I am not playing hide 'n' seek nor is my absence from your post in any way a reflection on the high quality of the jokes you somehow managed to miss before you found this one. It's just that they don't give us a lot of computer time here in Supermax because we tend to spend all of the available time we have in making donations to the Save America PAC.  |
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Date: 4/30/2023 12:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler!!!! Look, man! He's back! kronk---Greetings, Hekler. Good to read you. "L.D." missed you, bunches. He was bred to herd cattle and has so much nervous energy. Your presence seems to calm him. "L.D."---Yeah! What he said. What is "Save America PAC?" kronk---"Save America" is a so-called leadership PAC, (political action committee) which is a committee often formed by members of Congress or other political figures to support other candidates for federal and nonfederal offices. "L.D."---Oh, politicians supporting other politicians? kronk---Yeah, sort of like a "measles infestation." "L.D."---I don't believe that! Hekler wouldn't support such a thing. kronk---Of course he wouldn't. It's all a big joke, dog. Tomorrow is May Day. "L.D."---I feel better, now. |
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Date: 4/30/2023 5:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...LD! How's it going? I see that you let Kronk tag along too. When I said that we were making donations to the SAVE AMERICA PAC, I was sorta speaking in the past tense. Sorta. Kinda. One of the other cons here in Supermax managed to hack into Hey Larry's bank accounts local and the secret one he has in the Caymans and we've been donating like sailors on shore leaVe, buying all the official merch and having it delivered to orphanages and nunneries. The nuns send Hey Larry their blessings. He'll need them. Any day now he's going to get a call from his bank. If he's lucky, this will happen first before a joint force from the FBI, ATF and Secret Service blow out the front door on his home. If I know Hey Larry, he'll eventually see the fun in this as I have always known him to appreciate a good practical joke. And, the moose ARE moving. I attempted to rent a small van from U Haul, Ryder ...al the car rental places and they were as hard to find as pennies in Hey Larry's bank accounts. Moose on the move again. I hope none of them move in next door. I'd be all worried about hitting one of them as I pulled into the driveway at night. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 5:25:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You know L.D., Hekler runs a moose ranch on the side and has connections with the high muckety- mucks that run The Moose Lodge in his town. In fact I saw an ad campaign once that stated….” Moose, it ain’t Beef so shut up and eat!” |
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Date: 5/1/2023 5:28:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Oh, look who’s decided to come out of hiding! I take it Hekler realized that playing hide-n-seek isn’t much fun when nobody comes looking for you….. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 5:35:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Bank accounts? Cayman Islands? Nah! I follow the time honored tradition of my grand parents that lived through The Great Depression and bury my money in coffee cans or stuffed into mattresses or crawl space under the house.I figure by the time I do get to retire I’ll have enough cash to run my own trailer park. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 7:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I see that you're still attempting to throw the I.R.S. off the scent trail by claiming ignorance of modern banking methods and tax evasion techniques. This course of action will probably have a score of FBI agents digging up your back yard and won't you be the one with the stupid look on your face as they unearth a cache of Civil War gold ingots right beside the place where you buried your cake tin full of wheatsheafs. These grandparents you speak of...are they the same pair that you said were direct descendants of Tutankhamun and personally spoke to the Star People on a regular basis? Correct me if I'm wrong here. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 9:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well,that’s where you’re wrong. The I.R.S. cannot locate me if I never paid taxes to begin with. The genius behind that is they are too busy trying to go after the con artists such as Motivational Speakers, Multi Level Marketing types, Pyramid Schemes, Info-Mercials regarding erectile dysfunction, Real Estate in Swampland,Florida….etc… My grandparents were the original resort owners of that hot vacation go to destination, Easter Island. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 11:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...you mentioned con artists. Would that big label include a person that tries to pass of dreck as humor? Not pointing any fingers here. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 11:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...not to mention that Easter Island hot spot that has since, under your fine management, has now become an upscale bunny ranch. Kudos! |
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Date: 5/1/2023 11:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and before you mention all the dropped letters in my replies, I wanted you to know that I am doing this on purpse to save a few agonizing movements with my arthritis-ridden hands. The sheer pain I go through every time I check out the JOTW. I do it out of friendshp. OW! |
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Date: 5/1/2023 12:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Shriek? No, I never saw that movie. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 12:14:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Ask your friends at the Moose Lodge, where else would they hold their annual convention. |
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Date: 5/1/2023 12:16:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Now you’re just playing the victim to get a little attention. After all, you’re as young as you feel,…. |
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Date: 5/5/2023 5:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
We "need" to find out where this "moose lodge" is located. kronk---You do realize that you "are" obsessed with moose. "L.D."---Of course I am. Specifically, I am obsessed with moose meat. kronk---Why? There are hundreds of thousands of prime beeves in the Great State of TEXAS. What's so special about moose? "L.D."---"It is a meatier, gamier style of beef. Due to its organically grown nature, it has a more solid flavor than other meat varieties. Moose meat usually bears the taste buds of the animal it’s from, so you’ll likely taste hints of floral flavors, such as willow buds, while eating it." kronk---Ugh? |
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