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Hey Larry’s JOTW #122

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(2/18/2023 1:54:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (140 times)

Her body tensed & quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it.....

 

 

 

 

 Yeah, I should've warned her about the new electric fence.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 2/18/2023 8:16:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...so now you feel that you can use USM as your personal pornography site?

  
Date: 2/18/2023 8:19:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I see a successful future career for you as either an author of
Harlequin Romance fodder or possibly an upscale Trump speechwriter.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 8:43:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    You have a point. Writing either one is trashy, and fantasy filled. But one paywell while the other you need to be paid up front.  
Date: 2/18/2023 8:55:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...if you follow through with the Harlequin career, you should gear it
towards the older crowd which would be something you are familiar with.

Older characters finding that one true love that life had denied them
up to this point. Older and more realistic cover photos of hunky men
past their prime caressing spinsters.

If you feel like YOU would like to be on the cover of Hey Larry's 1st
big love inferno novel, submit photos of yourself in a red 1975 Speedo
swimsuit to:

GINGER
USM TALENT SCOUT

She will get back to you.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 10:02:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...sorry about that Ginger!
Please do not have me banned.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 11:17:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Hmm, gear it towards the geriatric types, eh? That gives me a few ideas for story lines/ titles.

“ Hoveround Hunk”….where our hero saves the day by picking up his love interest in his electric powered wheelchair so she doesn’t have to bother calling Dial-A-Ride.

“ The Big Sleep”. Not to be confused with the Humphrey Bogart movie. Nor is anyone getting lucky by sleeping with a larger significant other, or ..Ok. It’s all about extra nap time!

“ Bingo Floozy From Florida!” The title says it all.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 11:36:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...all good plot ideas although you neglected to mention nail clipping day.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 11:38:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...tell us more about this “ Bingo Floozy From Florida!”

This could get steamy and seamy.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 11:38:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Oh great! Thanks for spoiling the climax to the story…  
Date: 2/18/2023 11:39:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...okay Edward Clipperhands.

  
Date: 2/18/2023 11:44:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    You wanna know more about the “ Bingo Floozy From Florida?”

Then you’ll have to make a donation to “ The Mar - A -Lago Orange Botox Bowl.”
  
Date: 2/18/2023 6:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 55251    I guess you could say she was attracted to a man with power.

.... because you paid your electricity bill.
  
Date: 2/19/2023 12:31:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Shocking!  
Date: 2/19/2023 7:57:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...okay, it looks like we have our first entry and it's Hey Larry himself:

TO:
GINGER
USM TALENT SCOUT

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52698593315_7a6231415b_o.jpg

  
Date: 2/19/2023 11:00:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Let me be the first to debunk this fake photo that Hekler has presented without my knowledge/ permission. Upon closer examination, the guy in this photo has hair. He also looks as if he hasn’t seen a day of sunlight for quite some time…too pale. Why is he wearing two wristwatches? No beer belly, that’s a deal breaker.  
Date: 2/20/2023 4:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: That's a good joke! Reminds me of the time kronk rigged up an electric fence to discourage "critters" from eating all his grapes. Next
morning, at about 0430, I was "woke" up ...

kronk---Did you just way "WOKE?"

"L.D."---C'mon dude; don't be rude and crude! I was telling a story, here.

kronk---Sorry...Please continue. (I think)

"L.D."---Anyway, turns out that the culprit that was stealing the grapes was our next door neighbor's 22 year old niece, who was tangled in the poly wire.

kronk---Ok, that's enough about that. "They" don't need to hear anymore about that.

"L.D.---Are you kidding me? I'm just getting to the best part! Anyway, so kronk cut the power and tried to untangle the girl, and then "Tissy," (that was her name)
starts scratching, biting and threatening kronk with excommunication and worse. So kronk left her tangled up and "recharged" the unit, and every time he
cut it off, she lit into him again, so he energized the fence again, and this went on for about fifteen minutes, until "Tissy's" Uncle Paul (as in Bunyan)
came over and gave kronk two black eyes, a broken collar bone and kicked him in the------.

kronk---I think "they" get the point.

"L.D."---I've got it all on video!

kronk---Ugh!
  
Date: 2/20/2023 5:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Let me guess…. Tissy would be known as a “ Karen “ these days. Am I getting warm?

These days, definitions of words have been used for street slang, people using code so as not to be recognized in the everyday mainstream, remember that television show from the 70’s…Starsky and Hutch? Well they had an informant who’s catch phrase was “ The word on da street is….”

I won’t bother asking about the term “ Woke.” Because I want to take a nap from all of it.
  
Date: 2/21/2023 5:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Tissy was indeed, "the mother of all "Karens."

"L.D."---Yeah! She would really "pop a gator," every time kronk hit that switch.

kronk---My collar bone still hurts.
  
Date: 3/29/2023 4:40:00 AM  From Authorid: 11199    hi larry hugs  

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