|
|
|
|
|
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
| |||||||||||||||
Date: 1/31/2023 2:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It's weather like this that makes me yearn foe cactus country...  |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 6:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...don't forget to pack all of your tie-dye collection. People find it to be morale boosting.  |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 6:56:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! Those items were sent to The Jerry Garcia Foundation to support the old hippies rest home in San Francisco. |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 7:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...here's a recent photo of the traffic congestion on I-30: https://i0.wp.com/erickimphotography.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/figure1.jpg?resize=360%2C360 |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 8:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
How's that supposed to help? It's just a black hole Einstein! |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 9:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...that's the pileup. Avoid it. |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 9:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...and the name "Black Hole Einstein" is already in use by L.D.'s grunge rock band. |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 10:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...by the way, your title sounds like the lead line on one of those spammy emails you get from your internet dating sites. How's that working out for you? |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 10:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Just send me $99 and you'll be the first in your neighborhood, make that country, to have all the details you'll need to become a successful gigolo. |
Date: 1/31/2023 2:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "L.D." here: I came as soon as I could. Kronk got himself arrested for painting pink snowflakes on the vice president of the United State's SUV. I tried starting a "go fund me" thing to spring him (held on $932,000. bond) but, I got threatened by an intelligence agent, beaten by social workers and ultimately kicked to the curb, in a place called "U Street Corridor." I'm in "special traction" while typing this. Ugh! .......(Cell phone ringing)... Now, who could this be?....... Pardon me while I ring for the nurse.......Nurse---Awwww...You're such a pretty puppy. Let me get your phone for you. ...There you are and if you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ring."L.D.---Gotta' love medical professionals......Hello...How'd you get this number and how's the food in the slammer?.. hehe..What! You're in Key West? With who? With, "Comma-La?" Who is that? ....The Vice President of the USA? I thought she sent you to jail for vandalizing her ride? No?.....What? She's "A Woman in Love." ....Never mind that! Get over here, right away and check me out of this place! What do you mean 72 hours?....Oh, yeah! Next time I see you, I'm gonna' bite you!  |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 3:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry It's me, man. Remember to keep a positive attitude and keep reminding yourself that nothing lasts forever. "It" will all work out. I gotta' go, dude. I ran into this "government official," back in D.C. ended up in jail, then got bailed out and now I'm on a special assignment in FLA..... Govt Official---Purrrrrrr... kronk---Really? You like spearfishing, too? We're going to have a "good" time! |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 5:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
L.D., I'm confused. Isn't Mike Pence a former V.P.? Had no idea that he and Kronk were into flower power. Oh, sorry. I didn't have my glasses on. Sounds like your nurse is a kind soul. Sorry you got into trouble there, and always brush your teeth twice a day. |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 5:59:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It's not all bad. Working in a hospital has its advantages. But the patients beds we sleep on make for a poor night's sleep. |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 6:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: "The band" is coming together to do a gig in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. We're short a percussionist and a lead vocal. kronk tried out for percussion, but ended up rubbing two sticks together (it's all he could manage) and burned down the gazebo. We had in mind to approach "Howlin' Wolf" for vocals, but somebody said he died. Anyway, if you know any gifted musical types, gimme' a holler....kronk is still trying to get into politics. "They" say that he's hanging out with Mike Pence, down in Florida, spearing tiger sharks and trying to seduce "Comma'-La." |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 6:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"'Cause time goes by like hurricanes, and faster things..." I miss Gregg Allman...."Ain't Wasting Time No more" |
|
Date: 1/31/2023 6:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Heavy duty, dude. Flashed me back to "Where the Buffalo Roam." I really got off on Thompson's I.V. cart. |
|
Date: 2/1/2023 9:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Please ask Santa to give me the phone number of a good Orthopedic surgeon. I've about had it with this bum knee. "L.D." wants a yearling moose calf. He'd like it drawn, quartered, and ground into hamburger. |
|
Date: 2/1/2023 9:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
ATTENTION FELLOW USM'ers!!! Can't you see that the man is issuing a "cry for help!" He's on 24 hour standby and can't even go home! A LITTLE COMPASSION, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Sheeeesh "L.D."---Yeah! What he said! Eh; who "are" you, anyway? kronk---Ugh! |
|
Date: 2/1/2023 4:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I sent a text to tha man at The North Pole. At first he was unsure of my request until I told him that it was for you and not Hekler. That should get thing# rolling. |
|
Date: 2/1/2023 4:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Dear USMERS… I am now home and they saw fit to release me on my own recognizance…er, I mean the roads are clear and I signed a promissory letter to return tomorrow. Thanks to the well wishes and good intentions, may you be surprised with a Little Debbie snack of your choice when you have you4 first cup of coffee! |
|
Date: 2/2/2023 8:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I just ordered a two year subscription for the My Pillow of the month club in your name and now you tell me that you won't be there to sign for it? |
|
Date: 2/2/2023 5:45:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hey, no sweat. They’ll just return to sender and charge you a re- stocking fee along with a monthly recurring donation to your favorite amusement park in Florida. |
|
Date: 2/2/2023 11:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...you're taking me to Trumpney World? You're the best!. |
|
Date: 2/3/2023 5:32:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I didn’t want to get your hopes up too soon. There’s always the possibility of Florida freezing over if you get my drift…. |
|
Date: 2/3/2023 3:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
What's your favorite amusement park in FLA? Kronk---Disney World is too crowded and Mar-a-Lago is closed until 2025. I dunno'...What's yours? "L.D."---Actually, my favorite is down in the Everglades," it's called "The Burma Chop." kronk---Never heard of that one. What's it about? "L.D."---Ah, man! You'd dig it the most! When you walk in, "they" hand you a razor sharp machete and for $5.00, you can cut the head off a captured "Burmese Python." kronk---Cool! "L.D."---Talk about! "They" only charged me $2.50, cause I used my own jaws. I got to eat the snake, too. |
|
Date: 2/3/2023 4:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Lol! You two are a constant source of new information. I used to think of those old “ Burma Shave” roads signs that were faded and worn from time as a child when going on family vacations. Now. I see Burma Pythons instead. |
|
Date: 2/3/2023 4:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Wow! Thanks for the flashback, man. I remember those vacation trips. I rode in the back seat of our `53 Belaire and my folks liked to leave "real" early. I remember adjusting the window with my toes, so I could get the wind scream just right. I'd fall asleep and sometimes wake up to the sound of waves breaking on the beach. "We're there!" |
|
Date: 2/3/2023 7:03:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Awesome! I was raised in Southern California ( and it once was a beautiful place to live ) . Our vacation time was road trips to the Sierra Nevada mountains area and we’d leave early in the morning asleep in the back of a pickup truck….with a camper shell. Yeah, it’s illegal these days. By the time we awoke it was time for breakfast at a roadside cafe outside of Mohave or Rosamond. My Dad always said that we better use the bathroom now cuz we ain’t stopping till we get there. |
|
Date: 2/3/2023 7:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Also, around “ President’s Day” weekend in February, my Dad ( being a Federal employee he had most holiday’s off ) would take us to the Colorado River near the Arizona border to catfish. Ahh, stink bait, rotting mackerel and velveeta cheese on top of not having to take a bath! Life was good. |
|
Date: 2/6/2023 7:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Many moons ago, "we" went to a place called Portola and toured the area with friends. That was the first time that I'd ever seen a "real" mountain. I could have stood on those boulders and looked at Lake Tahoe for hours. "They" went skiing and I decided to pan for gold. `Bout froze my hands off! My dad had a '65 Chevy pickup with one of those camper shells on the back. I "always" rode back there. |
Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization
