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Date: 1/15/2023 9:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
NO HEY LARRY! I CANNOT GIVE YOU THE 0-60 E.T. NOR CAN I ESTMATE MPG READ THE NOTE ABOUT THIS ITEM BEING FICTITIOUS.  |
Date: 1/16/2023 4:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
I was merely going to say that I’d prefer this over an electric shopping cart scooter used in grocery stores. I’d customize mine with STP stickers and off road mud tires! At my age, who cares about gas mileage? ( I’m not talking about my digestive problems either!)  |
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Date: 1/16/2023 6:10:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...if you want to get a really good deal on an aftermarket weapons pod, just use the promo code P-I-L-L-O-W. |
Date: 1/16/2023 6:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 55251
I tried one of the older models. While it was great, I noticed one flaw. The screams and yells of "Slow down!" and "Watch out, it's that crazy guy again!" were not drowned out by the engine noise. Sometimes I could even hear their dang rock and or roll music. Hopefully they have corrected this oversight.. I'm thinking it should sound like a mix of a Harley Davidson and a train horn.  |
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Date: 1/16/2023 11:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey there Morphix! Yep, the old models had a lot of issues. Gatling guns frequently jammed, speed controls that would work on one speed: Florida. Cops had to throw down nail strips to slow some of those old coots down. Public menaces! In response to your disappointing experiences on the original untested and unlicensed models, HeklerCo. is happy to release news of a co-operative effort between Harley-Davidson and ourselves to give our exhausts a resonant rumble that will set off car alarms two blocks distant and shatter glass when closer. This is our commitment to you, our valued customer. |
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Date: 1/16/2023 12:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...one of the early experimental models utilized the air horns from a pair of decommissioned American LaFrance fire trucks. You could roll up behind someone, hit those suckers and watch stains appear on their clothing. My YouTube videos went viral before they were banned from the site. |
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Date: 1/16/2023 1:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
LMAO! |
Date: 1/16/2023 4:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler  I honestly think that I'm doing alright when it comes to "the ladies.""L.D."---HA! Delusional, is what you are! You are "so" invisible to any human female under the age of 76! kronk---OH, Yeah! "L.D."---Yeah! kronk---How old is "Cher?" "L.D."---Forget it, Sony!  |
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Date: 1/16/2023 4:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
I want one of those buggies! kronk---No, we can't afford one. Pretty hot ride, though. "L.D."---Maybe I can find a used one. kronk---Possibly...I know a few of the guys who are pitching in to gift one of those to the "POTUS." "L.D."---Potash? Who's potash? I thought that was a fertilizer? kronk---Not potash, dog! POTUS! He's the guy's supposed to be running the country. "L.D."---Oh, you mean George. I didn't know his nickname was potash? |
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Date: 1/16/2023 4:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Who do we know in "San Bruno?" kronk---Well, there was this guy named Sid. He's a janitor at the You Tube corporate headquarters. "L.D."---How much is he in for? kronk---Relatively light...About 8 G's worth. "L.D."---Perfect! I want those "air horn" videos! kronk---At times, I have to wonder about you, dog. "L.D."---Squeeze Sid; I need those air horn videos! |
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Date: 1/16/2023 5:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
LOL ! I want in as well. You never know when those videos will come in handy when you are trying to make a point with the neighborhood tweens that set off loud fireworks at 2:30 in the morning. |
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Date: 1/16/2023 7:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk/L.D. - The ladies and me are few and far between these days as my other (significance in a constant state of flux) would not appreciate any news of me with other women and, to be honest, do I really need more complications in my life? Sure, I have at times thought about putting up some posters with "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN" in bold at the top with a current photograph of myself underneath. Below that would read "Would you like to?".. I'd be hoping for the best but I do understand that there are some strange people out there. Meet the wrong person from Nebraska and you might end up being sacrificed to the Aztec God Tonatiuh in hopes of a better corn crop. |
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Date: 1/16/2023 7:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk/L.D...did you know that Canada was the leading potash producer in the world? Our potash is extremely high quality, clean and very well mannered. |
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Date: 1/16/2023 7:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...Hey Larry...the videos are GONE. One of my victims was a guy by the name of James Comey. All files were destroyed. You might find them in the bootleg video section at the flea market though. |
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Date: 1/17/2023 8:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: kronk's "woman" only keeps him around because he is good at house work and he can still change a flat tire. If he even dared, and if any poor misguided creature happened to show any interest, "the missus" would sew him up in a sheet and "tenderize" him with a meat mallet. kronk---Where "do" you get this stuff? "L.D."---Right off the top, man. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 1/17/2023 8:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." is just jealous `cause I have a social life. Just the other day, in fact, I spent time with a very interesting woman. "L.D."---You picked up that anorexic hitchhiker that tries to con anyone gullible enough to stop. She hit you up for twenty bucks, stole your lug wrench and then borrowed your cell phone to call 911 and turn you in for bad language. kronk---I had one of those "devine" moments; you know, help the boneless and all that. "L.D."---The homeless! Not the "boneless!" Man, you dumb! Oh, and by the way, I told mother everything. kronk---Ugh! |
Date: 1/19/2023 3:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
LOL   |
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Date: 1/20/2023 4:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"Comey" Is that the guy who couldn't answer any questions? kronk---I believe you're thinking of "Wray," and I'm not sure if he couldn't, or wouldn't. "L.D."---I don't know you. I've never met you. I'm just a good American born dog....looking to find a bone. kronk---Are you sure? "L.D."---I'm afraid I can't answer that question, `cause it violates departmental protocol. kronk---Ugh? |
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