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Hey Larry’s JOTW #115

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(12/31/2022 4:00:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (97 times)

What is a New Year's resolution?

Something that goes in one year and out the other.



My New Year's resolution was to drop my bad habits, but no one likes a quitter.

A man asks his buddy for a cigarette. His friend quips, “I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke.” The man replied, “I'm in phase one of quitting." Confused, his friend asked, "Phase one?" The man laughed, "Yes. I've quit buying."

Here’s to a better year……



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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 12/31/2022 4:01:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcQ-tNFQleI  
Date: 12/31/2022 3:54:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry I had a coworker who was sorta that way, too. I mean, the guy smoked like a stack, but never seemed to have cigarettes. When I finally quit "cold
turkey," one day, he was besides himself, because he had to go a whole shift without smoking.

I had a standard New Years resolution that I used when someone asked. I would tell them that my resolution was to strive to be as good an American as Hunter S. Thompson. .....

“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

  
Date: 12/31/2022 4:01:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    That’s the spirit Kronk!

If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up. ... Hunter. S. Thompson

In an odd way, that book is akin to Catcher In The Rye , but that’s because, to me, I never fully understood these stories until a later time in life.
  
Date: 12/31/2022 4:10:00 PM  ( Chatmin-KN )   USA Uber Alles!
Date: 12/31/2022 5:18:00 PM  ( Chatmin-KN )   Hey Larry I haven't read "Catcher in the Rye," in years. A good one to start the new year with, indeed.
Date: 12/31/2022 5:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    I hate it when it does. Ugh!  
Date: 12/31/2022 5:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    That's better.   
Date: 1/3/2023 8:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I have this problem with spontaneous human smoldering.
It's sort of spontaneous human combustion but my body just
doesn't have the oomph required to get up a good flame.

I try to quit smoking all the time but the slow burn continues.

I have been banned from most gas stations.
Thanks for rubbing it in.

  
Date: 1/4/2023 4:36:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    You were warned not to try and ignite your own flatulence for your own safety, and the safety of those around you. Didn’t you get an asbestos suit for Xmas?  

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