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"Ugh!; The Horror"

  Author:  21435  Category:(Horror) Created:(11/19/2022 6:27:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (189 times)

Hey, dog! Calm down!

"L.D."---I can't calm down! This is just awful!

kronk---What "are" you going on about?

"L.D."---We've got to do something! This is just unbearable!

kronk---If you don't calm down and tell me what's bothering you, I'll get the "castor oil."

"L.D."---No, not the castor oil!

kronk---Alright, then; what's your problem? Here, have a shot of your "de-worming medicine."

"L.D."---Ahhhhh, I needed that, but you have to help. I'm fearing the worst. First, Hekler disappears and now Hey Larry hasn't posted the "JOTW."

kronk---Hekler is probably hunting moose in the upper reaches of "The Great White North," and Hey Larry may have decided to sleep in, or had to work overtime.

"L.D."---I also had a nightmare, where the reigning "Speaker of the House of Representatives of the United States of America," has been turned into a "lame duck."

kronk---You've been watching "The Political Channel," again, haven't you?

"L.D."---I've been trying to quit, but it ain't easy.

How it changed my life:

My dog may need a lobotomy.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 11/19/2022 7:19:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    So sorry L.D.! I had some early morning errands to take care of, Nancy Is stepping down and Donald is running again. A coworker of mine told me of a secret distillery in my neck of the woods…and well a I got sidetracked. No signs of Bigfoot either.  
Date: 11/19/2022 8:36:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...L.D...I never disappeared. I had gone to Tibet to meditate with the Dalai Lama
for a time to get my mind and spirit acting as a cohesive unit once again.

All was well and good for a bit until that day when I regained consciousness in
some back alley in Bangkok, sans shoes, wallet and undergarment.

As I regained my health in the hospital and, after the de-Worming, I spent an
inordinate amount of time watching the "Political Channel" and being held hostage
to nightmares of zombies taking over the government of the United States.

I had to keep telling myself it was only a dream...

  
Date: 11/19/2022 9:02:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I just noticed that my right lung is also missing but I'm trying
to stay cheerful about being a victim of organ harvesting by laughing
at the fact that they didn't practice very good due diligence when they
cut out the bad one of the pair.

Did some home handyman stuff in this case and replaced the lung with a
combination of plastic Coke bottle, waxed T.P. roll and pink duct tape.

I'm putting the video on Youtube so other people can perform this same
operation at home and save a few of their dollars by not entering a hospital.

  
Date: 11/19/2022 7:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    ….where’s the video?  
Date: 11/20/2022 8:22:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...you seem to be some sort of surgical suite groupie and you'd
perform this procedure on yourself even if it wasn't required.

I will not be either entitling you in this endeavor nor will I be
responsible for replacing any parts you hack out by accident.

No video for you!

  
Date: 11/20/2022 8:27:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...for everyone else other than Hey Larry, here is a link to the video:

https://youtu.be/notKtAgfwDA

  
Date: 11/20/2022 1:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...Kronk...if your post's title had been a clue on Jeopardy!, I would have
buzzed in with "The first words uttered by Hey Larry's mom after his birth.

  
Date: 11/20/2022 2:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    Times are hard and the copayment is ridiculous.  
Date: 11/20/2022 2:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    That video is probably the reason why you never graduated from charm school.  
Date: 11/20/2022 2:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    Hey! I’m on Jeopardy!  
Date: 11/20/2022 3:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I lost on Jeopardy! I forgot to preface my response with "What are".

https://youtu.be/BvUZijEuNDQ

  
Date: 11/21/2022 3:19:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry No problemo' amigo. "L.D." is a "creature of habit," and if anything at all changes, he thinks the world is ending.

"L.D."---Glad that you made it, Hey Larry. Did the area that you checked out happen to be on "Copperhead Road?"

  
Date: 11/21/2022 3:43:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    HEKLER !!! I knew that you would show up, eventually. I've heard that "The Lama" has connections with Bangkok. Lots of missing devotees turn up rowing "junks" around
on the "Gulf Of Thailand." In a way, you're lucky that all you lost was one lung, your drawers, and incidentals, like shoes and money. kronk's fourth
cousin, Oedipus Rex Finkelstein, ended up "losing his religion" and becoming a pole dancer at "Cowboy-2."

kronk---Hekler I salute your ingenuity in replacing the lung. We got to do, what we got to do. (The zombies have already taken over D.C.)

'L.D."---Oh, noo! We've got to get Nancy Patricia out of that snake pit!

kronk---"They" wouldn't lay a hand on her. "They" fear her "eyebrows."
  
Date: 12/6/2022 11:11:00 PM  ( Admin-Z )   

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