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"Never, ever, trust a reptile!".....kronk & "L.D."

  Author:  21435  Category:(Interesting) Created:(10/3/2022 5:33:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (115 times)

"Alligator Mississippiensis"....Many years ago, my great aunt Bernadette told me that she was cutting sugarcane in a field close to some swamp in southwest Louisiana. "Te Taunt" (spelling?) said that a large alligator charged her and she had to "run for her life." She told me, "Don't think that an alligator can't run fast, boy. They can really move for a little while. You have to zig zag and don't look back. Just keep on running."

Soooo, you may be wondering?

"L.D." and I headed down to the community lake for a bit of fishing. Our lake has been drawn down lower than I've ever seen it since moving here in `74. (Drainage District still in shock after the monumental flooding that occurred a month ago) Lot's of new areas to fish and more exposed sand bars, points of previously submerged land, etc.

Picture this (if you're still here) A peninsula about eighty yards long, thirty feet wide, with water on three sides. (that's what a peninsula is right? ok ) The end of the peninsula separated from the mainland by a twenty foot wide channel.

So, I park the truck and start walking. "L.D." takes off at a gallop and I mean, he is burning up some ground. Mud and clam shells flying, right down the big middle of said peninsula. I'm left about thirty yards behind him and have an almost surreal view of what happens next. Which is:

An eight foot alligator comes barreling out of the shallow water on an intercept course and misses the running "L.D." by two dog lengths! What! Needless to say, I was FREAKED OUT! I dropped the fishing pole and started running and trying to fish the handgun out of my bag, while slipping and sliding on the muddy ground. Oh Lord!

It was then, that I think, I may have had a religious experience. "L.D." never slowed down and when he got to the end of the peninsula, I truly believe that he "walked on water" and crossed over to the firmament on the mainland. He stood there looking at me as if to say, "What in the wide, wide, world of sports was that?"

Still here? Wait, there's more.

So, I'm looking at "L.D." and he's looking at me. And he won't cross back over and I turn around and "the alligator" is just turning into the channel that separates us and it stops and is looking at "L.D." and totally ignoring me and I'm yelling at "L.D." and telling him to back away from the water. (in dog talk, of course) ...and then, and then... The gator goes under and I'm screaming at the dog to run and cursing myself for not shooting the alligator before it went under and the tension is mounting and then the gator launches itself out of the water like one of those nuclear subs ....and if "L.D." would have had a tail, he would have lost it..Oh, Lord! Then, I started shooting and missed all three shots and "L.D." tore out of there and the gator did an about face and I thought it was coming for me and I only had three bullets left and I figured I better save those `cause I can't run as fast as "L.D." and can't hit nothin' with the pistol, anyway. Oh, Lord!

I am happy to report that "L.D." survived his first encounter with an alligator that was large enough to eat him. Aunt Bernadette would have been proud of him. He ran a half mile and waited for me to pick him up. I caught a cramp, half way back to the truck, and fell in the mud. Thankfully, the alligator did not follow me.

How it changed my life:

I repeat: "Never, ever trust a reptile."

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 10/3/2022 7:10:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...it sounds like it is time to fix L.D. up with a sandwich board with a photo of
Marjorie Taylor Grease on both sides. That should make the gators lose their appetite.

  
Date: 10/3/2022 7:12:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...when I first saw the title to this story, I thought you were writing a tribute to Hey Larry.

  
Date: 10/3/2022 9:53:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Still here Kronk, L.D.

Fascinating tale of survival that not only rivals, but surpasses the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote moments in true history. The difference being that your adventure is more plausible than a cartoon show.

Hekler , btw, is a “ Super Genius “ . Much like Wile E. Coyote…..
  
Date: 10/3/2022 1:49:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Ahhhhh...MTG...Now there's a woman I could get next to.

"L.D."---She's available, you know.

kronk---That's what I hear. Could you loan me bus fare to Georgia?

"L.D."---Save your time and my money. I hear she's going for a younger guy, this time around. Word on the street is she's got a "thing" for Madison Cawthorn.

kronk---No!

"L.D."---"That's the rumor."

kronk---Ugh! Between Cawthorn, Swalwell and Beto O'rourke, I can't make any time with the interesting women.

"L.D."---There's always the mayor of Chicago?

kronk---HA! I wouldn't nest with ......

"L.D."---CUT!

kronk---Ugh!
  
Date: 10/3/2022 2:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    Hey, I’m not judging. Whatever happens at a political rally stays at the political rally. Unless your Canadian….  
Date: 10/3/2022 5:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 998    Wow, what a tale to be retold at all functions serving up cold beer and testosterone. You will win with that story.

Glad to hear that both of you are OK. Gators are definitely not ones to be toyed with.
  
Date: 10/4/2022 7:00:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Ginger Yep. That one got us free beer at the "Dangerous Reptile Convention" at Lake Okeechobee.   
Date: 10/4/2022 10:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 42945    What a great story brother, so glad that you and LD are ok lol....I could just picture it and couldn't stop laughing...   
Date: 10/5/2022 3:12:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Zema Thank you, sister. I was indeed terrified for my little buddy. He learned, though. Anytime we approach the area, he hangs back and studies everything. I'm not sure if it's the alligator, or the gun fire. Take care of you.  

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