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Date: 9/18/2022 4:54:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I feel it’s appropriate for some music to help create a more pleasant dining atmosphere, how about Dionne Warwick’s “ What The World Needs Now?”  |
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Date: 9/18/2022 5:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'm entering “Cheeseburger in Paradise” by Jimmy Buffett.  |
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Date: 9/18/2022 5:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...this restaurant should set up a special vegan dining section...outside, near the dumpster. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 5:50:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
And here I thought you were going to suggest a hunger strike. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 6:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'll have a salad with my hunger strike. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 6:14:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hold the bacon bits….. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 6:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...what is "vegan bacon" anyway and, being vegans, why would they want it? It just seems like a conflict of interests if you ask me. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 9:07:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well the problem with your question is there's a two party system involved. Vegetarian and Vegan. Vegetarian diets will consume dairy products like milk, cheese and eggs. Vegans are strictly vegetables or plant based. I prefer to be independent myself. That way I can do The Dahmer Diet. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 5:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Where all the meat at? kronk---I think we should give our digestive systems a break. I have a two gallon pot of "13 bean soup" simmering on the stove. "L.D."---Ugh! Have at it, then. I'll be having dinner in the mayor's chicken yard. kronk---Hey Larry  I'm for equal opportunity and all that, but I believe I have to side with the restaurant owner on this one. I mean, it's like waltzing into a place that specializes in "all meat wieners," and demanding tofu. "L.D."---What? kronk---You have a chicken feather under your collar.  |
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Date: 9/18/2022 6:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I couldn’t agree more. Except when in Canada they prefer to use “ Canadian Bacon” eh? What’s that about? |
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Date: 9/18/2022 6:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I found this write up about "Canadian bacon."...What is Canadian bacon?...KNOWLEDGE ARTICLE: In the United States, "Canadian" bacon is plain lean "back bacon" made from the loin, and it is trichina treated but must be cooked before using. It is simply called "back bacon" in Canada, where "Canadian bacon" is traditionally unsmoked back bacon that has been sweet pickle cured and coated in yellow cornmeal. This variation is also known as peameal bacon, because, in times past, a mixture of ground yellow peas was used for coating to improve curing and shelf-life. "L.D."---You can have all the pickle juice and pea meal. Gimme' the loin. kronk---You get the "trichina." "L.D."---Ha! I'm a dog, man. That worm don't bother me. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 9/18/2022 6:28:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Thanks Kronk, that tells me I made the right choice by marking Canadian Bacon off my list. Spam however….yum! |
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Date: 9/18/2022 7:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I have never heard of anyone in Canada calling back bacon "Canadian bacon". Do you Americans call that cruddy sliced processed cheese "American cheese"? There is the difference. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 7:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I thought that processed cheese was made in a Canadian water treatment plant and passed off as Satanic S’mores. |
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Date: 9/18/2022 8:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I worked at a cheese plant when I was in my early 20s. After uncrating, the edges of the cheese were cut off to remove mold and hard edges. The scrapings were bagged and then sold to Kraft to be processed into their fine food products after adding enough oil to run a fleet of trucks for a year. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 3:06:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
And yet we American citizens can’t understand why we have the highest rate of heart disease in the world. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 11:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...that's right! Stop eating "food" made by Kraft and just drink the quart of oil neat. Ice is optional. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 12:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 998
I always get a smile ... giggle ... or all out gaffaw, when reading ya'lls posts and shannagains !!! Not sure I've been as amused in all these 20+ years of USM than with watching what this crew of knuckleheads gets into next. Thanks for brightening my days, Hey Larry, Hekler and Kronk !!! P.S. I think the 'Rat Pack' has already been taken, but we really should come up with a name for your unorthodox crew ... lol  |
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Date: 9/19/2022 12:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 998
On a side note, I totally agree with this restaurant. They should craft their menu items to what they do best, and if they survive and have a great return rate of partakers then success achieved. I've recent discovered that creaky grumpy joints in my body were not due to old age (not that I'm there yet ..LoL). I'm apparently gluten sensitive, and restrictions on my dining habits are a pain in the you-know-where. However, I wouldn't expect my local pub to cater to my gluten free nonsense. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 1:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hi Ginger! I agree with you about Hey Larry's jokes. Some of them have been in circulation since women discovered fire (man was out with the boys getting eaten by a T-Rex) but you have to give credit where credit is due. Hey Larry perseveres and one day, with luck, he might, for once, stumble across something that people here find even remotely humorous. We have our dreams. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 1:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...nicknames, nicknames, nicknames. Yes, The Rat Pack has been taken as well as The Lounge Lizards (where Hey Larry is concerned) and this might make for a good competition to come up with an appropriate name for this trio. I would have included L.D. but he's a dog and therefore exempt from inclusion as a member. Hey Larry should offer a cash prize for the winner and a year's supply of Rice~a~Roni for 2nd. 3rd place will receive an autographed photo of Hey Larry himself. The frame should be worth something. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 2:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
And now I will break out in song from Don Quixote, “ Dream The Impossible Dream” in response to Hekler’s comment. No stopping us now! |
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Date: 9/19/2022 2:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I also agree that a business should be be able to do as they like, as long as they’re not making processed cheese, and a paying customer has the right to go elsewhere…like Canada. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 2:34:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
As far as the “ Name Those Guys From USM “ goes, I’m willing to offer up some lottery tickets for my end of the cash prize for first place. Rice a Roni? I don’t hail from Florida. How about Mac n cheese? I’ll buy a new frame and leave the photo that came with it, have fun guessing my age or gender, depending on the frame. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 2:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 998
Oh I donno Hekler, if "L.D." isn't allowed to play in the reindeer games, I won't wanna see those sad puppy dog eyes from under the kitchen table. And I don't really know the infamous "L.D." all that well, cuz he just may be one of those talking dogs that might turn into a growling pile of dog fur that will hunt us all down until we let him into the clubhouse. I'm just sayjn' ... I would let him join. |
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Date: 9/19/2022 3:25:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
^^^^^^^^ The voice of reason. After all, you get two for the price of one. |
Date: 9/19/2022 4:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
I raise my milkshake and toast the restaurant for their decision. Dont force me to eat what you want and I wont do the same  |
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Date: 9/19/2022 4:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Good to see you Smokin Joe. Do you favor American Cheese or Canadian Bacon? |
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Date: 9/20/2022 3:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 54570
both actually |
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Date: 9/20/2022 8:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I hear there's a thing called Arkansas rabbit rectum. Can you provide us all with a description of the flavor? |
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Date: 9/20/2022 8:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...not that I really care one way or the other. Just wanted to see how low you'll go. |
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Date: 9/20/2022 10:50:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
So, SASKATCHEWAN Surprise lost its Pizzazz? I thought Bigfoot had a cooking show there..." Ready 4 Yeti?" |
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Date: 9/20/2022 11:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
If anyone is interested, Hey Larry has a cooking class for people that like to eat pig noses. Check it out! It's called "All About Snout". |
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Date: 9/20/2022 12:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Yeah, how long does it take you to clean and debone a moose when serving a large family? I figured those trick drivers make it simple for you when the hard part is gathered carcass off the highway. |
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Date: 9/20/2022 6:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Ginger Always good to read The "first lady" of USM. If our antics bring a smile, or a chuckle, then, I'm sure that I speak for my two bros, when I say, Thank you. It is indeed our pleasure. "L.D."---I like Ginger. She seems the type to give all creatures, great and small, the benefit of the doubt. I'd never consider eating her, even if I was on the brink of starvation. She's "good people" in my book. Now, a reindeer is another story. I could probably take out at least four of those in one feeding frenzy. kronk---Dog! No wonder Hekler banned you from "the club." "L.D."---Ahhh, Hekler was only funnin' I thought of a nickname for yall's little group. (Yall's is a Texas thang.) "The Sarcas-men" kronk---I don't get it? "L.D."---I figured as much. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 9/21/2022 3:29:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
The Saracas-men does have a nice ring to it. Performance at any given moment here at the USM stage. Would we be expected to sing? Hekler is tone deaf and I’ve been compared to a half blind alley cat. Hope there’s a house band available to make us sound better….. |
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Date: 9/21/2022 5:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I NEVER said that I was tone deaf. I said that I was half deaf. Don't you dare use that tone with me! |
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Date: 9/22/2022 5:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
What'd Hekler say? "L.D."---You really need to get a hearing aid. kronk---What? "L.D."---You new new glasses, also. kronk---Feels like there's something in my right ear. Take this flashlight and have a look, please. "L.D."---"Verrrry Interesting." kronk---Well, what do you see? "L.D."---WOW! This is really cool! I've never seen one that big! kronk---WHAT! What's in there, dog! "L.D.---There's a GIANT Neon Green Fig Eating Beetle, sitting on your ear drum. kronk---Don't just stand there! Get it out! Do something! "L.D."---Sorry, man. I'm late for an appointment. I gotta' go. kronk---WHAT! |
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