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Date: 8/13/2022 5:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "L.D." here: I sampled "Himalayan Rabbit" when I climbed "The Matterhorn," back in `37.kronk---What? Dog, you've got your mountains mixed up. Besides, the only "Matterhorn" you ever dealt with was the one at "Baskins & Robbins." You couldn't even finish it, as I recall. "L.D."---I want "Himalayan Rabbit" for lunch. kronk---Forget it. We can't finance an expedition to Tibet. We don't even have cab fare to "Claremont." How about an armadillo haunch, instead, or a "gaftopsail catfish?" "L.D."---You fed me "topsail" yesterday. It gave me gas. kronk---You need to sleep on the other end of the bed.  |
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Date: 8/13/2022 9:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...ummm...about that rabbit...knowing your...er..."frugal" nature, may I inquire about where you found Himalayan? And, as an afterthought, do you have any idea how long he might have been a-layan where you found him? I'm not asking for either an autopsy or forensic report but I do prefer to know the provenance of my meals.  |
Date: 8/13/2022 9:58:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Gee Kronk, L.D., according to the Texas Parks & Wildlife website, the Gaftopsail Catfish is edible, but difficult to prepare and not usually eaten by local residents. That being the case I’ll opt for the Matterhorn, and if not that, a blizzard from Dairy Queen.  |
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Date: 8/13/2022 10:06:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I’m glad you asked Hekler. It’s always good to feed a curious mind and I’m always willing to swap recipes! Here in the land of The Clampetts, one learns how to live off the land between layoffs and incarceration. In this instance, I happen to find Himalayan in the road right after he got hit by by an oncoming moped while trying to out run Wile E. Coyote. Good fortune for me, bad timing for…well you get the idea. |
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Date: 8/13/2022 12:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry...just out of curiosity, was their anything salvageable left of the moped...like the horn or kick-stand? Looking for parts for my bike. Let me know and leave asking prices. |
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Date: 8/13/2022 2:34:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Oh that might be a problem. You see, during the commotion afterwards I ran over to the owner of the moped feigning interest in his personal well-being as I wanted the rabbit real bad, and before either one of us knew it, that coyote drove off into the sunset. I am now a witness to a crime and have to be on call to identify the perp if they ever catch him. |
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Date: 8/13/2022 3:00:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It’s probably be to a chop shop by now. No evidence, no crime. |
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Date: 8/13/2022 3:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...so you're saying that someone in Saudi Arabia got my horn and kickstand or should I be combing the listings on eBay? |
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Date: 8/13/2022 3:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...never trust a coyote. |
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Date: 8/13/2022 5:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Speaking of "Gaftopsail Catfish." "L.D."---C'mon, man! No one wants to hear about those catfish. The man just said he'd rather have "The Matterhorn." kronk---Nonsense, dog. Hey Larry may, someday, find himself in need of a meal, high in protein and Omega-3. Besides, college kids, down in Florida were coughing up $100. a pop, for a five pounder. "L.D."---Oh, Lord! Why would anyone pay a hundred bucks for one of those slimy things? kronk---I hear that the value "is" in the slime; but I digress. I was about to tell Hey Larry how to prepare the fish. "L.D."---Any way I can talk you out of doing that? kronk---Nope. "L.D."---Ugh! kronk---First, Catch the fish. Any fresh live or dead bait, such as shrimp, crab, or any small marine creature will do. Ice down the fish, please. Then, find a dead tree or a post, or something, and drive a large nail through the back of the catfish's head and into the tree, at about shoulder level. (You will notice that these catfish have an unusually large head. The better to eat things with.) "L.D."---WARNING: The following procedure may not be suitable for all readers. Indeed; If you have a weak stomach, don't read any further. kronk---Ugh! Once the catfish is nailed to the tree, make two horizontal cuts below the head and where the catfish's shoulders would be, if it had shoulders. "L.D."---Is this absolutely necessary? kronk---Sure. I'm just now getting to the important part. "L.D."---Ugh! kronk---After the cuts are made, use pliers to grab the skin and pull downward, in effect, skinning the fish. Dispose of the skin, unless you have college students who might be willing to give you cash for the skin and the associated slime. Then---------- "L.D."---Sorry folks. I had to DELETE him. I should never have allowed it to go this far. |
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Date: 8/13/2022 5:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler I have a recipe for "coyote," also. "L.D."---Don't you even go there! Go stand in the corner. kronk---UGH! |
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Date: 8/13/2022 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...I'd be interested in hearing the recipe. I already have an Acme coyote cooker that does just fine but sometimes culinary flexibility can make a person discover new taste delights. L.D...does this recipe involve nailing the coyote's head to a tree? |
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Date: 8/13/2022 7:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler I'll have to wait until "L.D." is not around to give you that recipe. At times, he gets real sensitive where the coyotes are concerned. One day, he says the coyotes are part of his family; the next day, one tries to eat him. "L.D."---I'd like to catch the one that tried to eat me and nail it to a tree, but not through the head. I'd nail it upside down by it's-----Hey, what's up with that? kronk--- Sorry, buddy. You're getting a little worked up. I had to BLEEP you. "L.D."---Ugh! |
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Date: 8/13/2022 7:45:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You know, I think I’d rather sell them for $100 a pop and treat you both to a Matterhorn. |
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Date: 8/14/2022 10:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: Most of the "Baskin & Robbins" around here have shutdown. Kronk is so cheap that he didn't want to spring for the "real" ice cream and insisted we go to his cousin Pedro's place. (The Pedrocone') I don't know what's in that stuff he calls ice milk, but every time I eat it, I dream that I'm being torn apart by scarab beetles. kronk---Your nightmare is probably caused by one of the ingredients used to fabricate the cone. Pedro told me he got a great deal on three tons of something called, "mummy dust." (Country of origin is Egypt. Packaged and shipped for distribution "exclusively" to U.S.A, from The Peoples Republic of China.) "L.D."---Whatever happened to your cousin Pedro; I haven't seen him around, lately? kronk---He'll be back in a couple of weeks. Pedro took off for Romania, with "Nancy Patricia." She needs to replenish her stock of "sacred earth from the old country." "L.D."---I thought she was Italian? kronk---She was born in Baltimore, but she spent her first few centuries in Transylvania. "L.D."---Explains a lot- |
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Date: 8/14/2022 1:37:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Ok, I see a future in selling a chance for “ A trip to the old country “ as a grand prize with every $100 purchase of Gaftopsail Catfish! That Ora special backstage type pass for a meet n greet with Nancy P. Once we fill up our offshore bank accounts we can start our own ice cream business and do things right….. |
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Date: 8/14/2022 1:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I don't think anyone would want your stupid catfish flavored ice cream. It'll probably end up being sold in Japanese dollar stores. (No offense intended to those of Japanese descent but you do have some pretty odd tastes at times) |
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Date: 8/14/2022 1:47:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
This is why you never evolved from your potty humor type thinking. |
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Date: 8/14/2022 1:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...there is another kind of thinking? |
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Date: 8/14/2022 5:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I tried reviving the gaftopsail slime craze, down in Corpus Christi, last summer and met with very little success. "L.D."---Yeah! He got picked up for introducing prodigious amounts of beef blood into the waters of a swimming beach and peddling an aquatic species, without the benefit of a "finfish license." kronk---I didn't think that a catfish had fins. "L.D."---Ugh! |
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Date: 8/15/2022 10:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I will do my best to talk "Nancy Patricia" into doing the "meet and greet." kronk---Yeah. She's really kinda' likable, if you pump her up with enough gin. "L.D.---She usually warms to me when I compliment her on her hair. I need $150. kronk What do you that much money for? You can buy a couple of bottles of "Beefeater" for about forty bucks. "L.D."---That won't do. "Nan-Nan" is into "Navy Strength London Dry," these days. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 8/16/2022 11:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! |
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Date: 8/18/2022 8:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Nancy likes gin? Hey Larry has a tub full of it. I think it's a match made in heaven. |
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Date: 8/18/2022 8:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
https://c.tenor.com/uGfT6NTwCQsAAAAd/hello-i-would-like-to-report-a-murder-barbara-hill.gif |
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Date: 8/19/2022 7:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Does Nancy like her gin? I should say so. Watching Mrs Pelosi move, gives some folk the mistaken impression that she is waaaaay over the hill, (which she certainly is, before her breakfast) but look out after that second helping of "Nolet's Reserve." ($605.05 American) Why, I could tell you stories that would.... "L.D."----Sorry folks. I had to censor him, again. He forgets himself, whenever the "Speaker of the House" is mentioned. kronk---How'd you gain access to the "censor button?" "L.D."---Don't you worry about that, bucko. I have clearance. kronk---Hekler I am quite fond of "Moosehead Lager." Just go ahead and send "L.D." the used motor oil. He prefers something in the neighborhood of 40,000 miles. |
Date: 8/19/2022 4:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 53836
Because I found him-a-layin' on the side of the road...why else?  |
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Date: 8/19/2022 9:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...40,000 mile motor oil? I try and get at least 200,000 miles out of my oil. We all do (but no one will own up to it) I'm not falling for all of that oil company propaganda about "frequent oil changes" prolonging the life of your motor. I ALWAYS kept the factory oil in and it was ALWAYS good until the motors exploded. I rest my case. |
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Date: 8/19/2022 10:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...instead of the 40,000 mile motor oil, I do have access to 750 gallons of fish and chip restaurant grease (used). I know a couple of Mexican pilots that could drop it off for you. Thoughts? |
Date: 8/20/2022 7:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
SpaceCase So good to read again, lady. I think that you may fit right in with the crowd that's hanging here. Write about it.  |
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Date: 8/20/2022 7:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler I can dig it, brother. Reminds me of the time that I bought an old Plymouth and never checked the oil for the three years that I kept it. Of course, I was just a kid and didn't know any better. "L.D."---A kid? I don't consider a 39 year old "basement dweller" a kid. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 8/20/2022 8:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler If your pilots are cleared for the "Grumman OV-1 Mohawk," we may be able to do business. We could fill the auxiliary tanks with the fish oil, fly over D.C. on a work day, around dinner time, and "loose the load" when we got over "Le Diplomate." |
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