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Hey Larry’s JOTW #93

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(7/30/2022 4:34:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (168 times)

My best friend says I'm schizophrenic!

I say he's a hypocrite. Especially since I don't exist…..

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 7/30/2022 5:13:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I think it's all in your head.
What do the voices say?

  
Date: 7/30/2022 5:48:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I’ll have to get back to you on that. Right now they’re having a debate and I’m trying to get them take a vote.  
Date: 7/30/2022 6:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...be careful...I think that they've all been watching you and want to do you in.

  
Date: 7/30/2022 7:15:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    The consensus is that they can’t live with me, but it would be worse to live without me. This is why the debate still drags on.  
Date: 7/30/2022 5:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Rest assured that I have your welfare in mind when I suggest: You may consider getting yourself a talking dog. I did and look what it's done "to" me.

"L.D." (the talking dog)---Ugh! ...done "for" me; not "to" me. Dang you dumb!

kronk---See what I mean?
  
Date: 7/30/2022 6:31:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Well Kronk, you have piqued my curiosity. I admire both you and L.D., and this to be seems better advice than from a a certain individual from The Great White North. So is there a shelter I can go to to find my spirit guide dog?  
Date: 8/1/2022 2:34:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: As a matter of fact, I just happen to have a cousin, twice removed, on my father's side, who is locked up in an animal shelter, on the
southside of Chicago. He was dropped off because his previous owner said he talked too much.

kronk---I thought your cousin was locked up because he mauled five citizens and on Great Dane.

"L.D."---No, man. You're thinking of another one of my cousins. He's locked up in "Joliet."

kronk---I thought "they" shut that place down, years ago.

"L.D."---"They" did. My cousin is the only inmate.

kronk---Who is this cousin of yours, that he gets a whole correctional facility to himself.

"L.D."---His name is "Leroy Brown," and he used to be the baddest dog in town, until he messed around with a French poodle named "Doris" and her old man whooped
him pretty good.

kronk---So, "they" put him in jail for getting beat up?

"L.D."---Naw, "they" put him in jail for poisoning Joe Biden's dog.
  
Date: 8/1/2022 6:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Well L.D., sounds a lot like The Blues Brothers and the revelation that they are on a mission from God, so count me in! I know an auto auction house where the auctioneer that runs it owes me one. I can pick up a cruiser for a good price.  
Date: 8/7/2022 11:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    "It's 105 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, a half a packet of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."

"L.D."---"Hit it!".............(The Blues Brothers)
  
Date: 8/7/2022 5:08:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Can we race through a shopping mall, huh? Can we?  
Date: 8/12/2022 12:26:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: Reminds me of the time that "Evil Kinevil" kronk went berserk at the "Walmart Supercenter" in Barstow, on Good Friday, 1967.

kronk---Wait a minute, dog. I'm not sure that there were any "Walmart Supercenters" in Barstow, at that time. In fact, I don't think there were any of those
anywhere, yet.

"L.D."---Well, you were pretty out of it, dude. It's a good thing that your "Opel Kadett" was only firing on one cylinder and the mall was deserted, `cause there
was definitely a potential for disaster, there.

kronk---Oh, I remember, now! I was in the car, but "Nancy Patricia" was driving. We were out of gin and you know how "she" gets when she wants gin.

  
Date: 8/12/2022 11:24:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    The inspiration for Hunter Thompson, and Barstow is on the way to Vegas.  
Date: 8/13/2022 5:05:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Ahhh, yes; Thompson. I enjoyed his writing, sometimes. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," was the first of his books I ever read.

"L.D."---There are "bats" all over that desert!

kronk---There are no bats; you just can't handle "the medicine."

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 8/13/2022 3:06:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    One of my favorite quotes of his: "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours."  
Date: 8/13/2022 5:22:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry I like this one, too. "When the going gets weird; the weird turn pro."  

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