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"Fireworks Etiquette & Safety"

  Author:  21435  Category:(General Advice) Created:(7/4/2022 8:11:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (140 times)

"L.D."---Look what I've got! Fireworks!

kronk---Pray tell, where did you get fireworks?

"L.D."---I've been saving a "haunch" off of every armadillo that you feed me. I traded 37 armadillo haunches to the Asian guy down the street, for this bag full of fireworks. I'm going to blow the whole bag at once. Got a match?

kronk---Hold on there, dog! Fireworks can be dangerous. I think we should go over a few things, before you begin.

"L.D."---On, Lord!

kronk---What time is it? Ok, it's 0330. Do you think this a good time to set off a massive explosion in the neighborhood? I mean; lots of folks are sleeping at this time. Some people may actually have to report for work, in a couple of hours.

"L.D."---Ugh!

kronk---Also....Setting off an entire bag of loose fireworks could be dangerous. I mean, you've got long fuses, short fuses, slow fuses and fast burning fuses, facing up, down and all around in that bag. There is a possibility that the whole mess could blow up in your face. It's probably safer to do the fireworks, one at a time, in a controlled manner.

"L.D."---Ugh!

kronk---You might also consider the "legality" of firing off fireworks in the "city limits," also. Many municipalities have laws against discharging firearms and fireworks in their city limits. You could get picked up and have to pay a hefty fine.

"L.D."---I'm a dog. I have no money. What's the worse thing that could happen to me?

kronk---"They" could throw you in a pen with that smelly female "chow-chow," that's been on the "to be adopted" list for the last three and a half years.

"L.D."--"They" wouldn't!

kronk---"They" might?

"L.D."---Alright...I give up. I don't even want the fireworks, anymore. Here, you take `em.

kronk---Oh, OK. I guess I could take `em off your paws, for you. Thanks.

"L.D."---Where you going?

kronk---I'm going to trade these fireworks to that juvenile delinquent on 3rd street. He makes the best "mailbox bombs," around. It's time to "blow the mayor's chicken yard."

"L.D."---You're despicable!

kronk---"Despicable? Me?"

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 

Notice: This Advice is free advice and only for (Fun). It is provided by person or persons not affiliated with the Unsolved Mysteries website and neither Unsolved Mysteries or the persons giving the advice will assume any responsibility for consequences for the actions you take as a result.

Replies:      
Date: 7/4/2022 2:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    And ironically, in the lower corner of this post is an ad “This Dog’s Behavior Isn’t Normal”, 7 behaviors every dog parent should be aware of. Of course, it would even be more ironic if there was an ad regarding the dog parents behavior…but I’m at home with too much time on my hands.  
Date: 7/4/2022 2:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    L.D., I had no idea that armadillo haunches could be used to barter for goods. There’s plenty o’ them little four legged tanks roaming in my area. So, who can I connect with should I be inclined to trade for a few sparklers?  
Date: 7/4/2022 6:43:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: Kronk sent me to a dog psychiatrist, up in Reno, last year. I blew the quack's mind. Before I left I had him singing "Amie," by Pure
Prairie League.

kronk---Ugh! You had your fun and I about went bankrupt, when I got the bill.

"L.D."---Now the lower left hand corner is displaying: "The Most Disturbing Images Captured By Motion Sensing Trail Cams. Try Not To Gasp."

kronk---Don't you dare click on that arrow!

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 7/4/2022 7:03:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." is in league with an oriental fellow from "The Marianas." They ship the haunches to Guam and dump them into the extinct crater of Mount Lam Lam,
in hopes that the volcano will come to life, again. There "is" good money in "the haunches," but I'd advise against getting evolved. Those two also
dabble in shark worship.

"L.D."---Conjecture, pure conjecture.
  
Date: 7/4/2022 9:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    Shark worship eh? Has that ever been a part of Shark Week?  
Date: 7/5/2022 4:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry With our "compromised" economy, "L.D." is turning into the worst kind of mercenary. Nothing "edible" is safe from him and his oriental friend, "Tcho-kon- bon." "They" lure the sharks in by punching holes in 12 oz. cans of "SPAM," and scattering the cans just outside the reef, on an outgoing tide. (Sharks
cannot resist SPAM.) Then "they" harpoon the frenzied sharks, fin them, and make soup, which they sell for $57.50 for a 4 oz. serving.

"L.D."---Free enterprise, dude.

kronk---You've gone too far, this time! I'm turning you in to Nancy. Sharks are one of her spirit animals; along with king cobras.

"L.D."---Ugh! .....Hope you're feeling better, Hey Larry!
  
Date: 7/5/2022 6:39:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    I am feeling better thanks. If I begin to see food trucks that are shark themed, then I knowI should have gotten in on the franchise ground floor.  
Date: 7/6/2022 5:10:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Quite a few Christmases ago, we were invited to a party. All guests were asked to bring some form of food. Back then, I was a freak for salt water
fishing and the limits on shark were much more liberal than today. I had a couple of pounds of shark fillets left over from the fall so I decided to
make "fried shark meatballs." So, I got to work and processed the fillets, made tiny meatballs (approx. one inch around) and stacked them up on a
platter about sixteen inches high, in pyramid form. When "they" asked what kind of fish, I just said, cod. Well, those little meatballs didn't last
fifteen minutes. Folks were grabbing them by the handful. "L.D." wants to know if we can expect a "JOTW," this Saturday?
  
Date: 7/7/2022 5:41:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Well Kronk, my Dad used to get us to try things by giving said food item some made up name or the usual standby “ chicken.” And as a child, I wasn’t afraid to try new things unless influenced by my older brother or sister due to sibling pecking order…example, remember that kid MIKEY? Yeah, I So I’ve never had shark ( nor Armadillo haunches ) but I bet it tastes just like chicken.

L.D., Yes the JOTW is on!
  
Date: 7/7/2022 6:18:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry I was actually a finnicky child. I loved to hunt, but would never eat any of the game that I took. That being said, I knew better than to kill anything that someone in the family wouldn't eat. My father didn't believe in wasting food. Armadillo is one of those things that I would pass on, unless things really got tough.

"L.D."----Ah HA!

kronk---Things are tough enough for armadillo, these days.

"L.D."---Ugh! Yeah, well "you" eat it, then!

kronk---I'd rather have Hungarian Goulash.

"L.D."---Az Jo'
  
Date: 7/7/2022 6:22:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21435    Ahhh, "Joe's run off to fire lake." (Bob Seger)  

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