My aunt is on the move again and I am helping her out.
She insists on picking me up and that leaves her in control of any destinations and spur-of-the-minute side trips which may arise.
Another of her little quirks is that she constantly chatters to you sotto voce, just under the limits of my fading hearing.
If I ask her to repeat, she inquires if I've made an appointment to get a hearing aid.
That could be a good idea but then I would also hear a lot of stuff that I feel just dandy missing out on.
She claimed to be quite hungry this morning and wanted to stop for coffee at Tim Hortons and then on to Burger King.
Both locations are essentially side by side, separated by a road in between.
This should be an easy one, right?
First we went to Burger King. They maker of her favourite burger.
There is a special automotive "dance" that my aunt uses at drive-throughs.
First, pull past the order box calling "hello!, hello!" and then back up past it
again while saying "hello!, hello!". Pull ahead to the sweet spot.
Today, the local Burger King was having an issue with their broiler. The only items
available were chicken and anything that could be fried to death. No thank you.
With the skill of a Formula 1 racer, she managed to do an exploration of every parking
lot and driveway in the surrounding quarter mile. Found the ordering lane eventually.
Reprise of "ordering dance" and first opportunity of the day to make the order taker begin to rethink their choice of career. Order made and collected.
Next stop, upon my suggestion, was A&W, less than a mile away.
Directions were required for someone that has spent most of her 81 years in town.
As usual, my calm directions were augmented by my pointing and yelling of:
LEFT LEFT - NO THAT WAS RIGHT. TURN LEFT!
Aunt: Well, which way do you want me to go? All that pointing isn't helping.
Me: I don't know anymore. LEFT
After making a predatory loop around all the other cars in the parking lot we managed to zone in
on the drive through lane which was no mean feat considering all the directions that one could go.
Ordering is an art form. Total confusion by the person taking the order must be achieved first.
When the employee asks: "what was that again?", she repeats the order while the employee tries to nail
it down and then I begin to call out the order while my aunt feels that a loud speaking contest has begun.
The mystery order finally gets solved and placed.
.
Then pull up to the pay window as far away as it is possible for the cashier to reach and then
make payment. This can usually involve the transfer of cash or a long search for the missing credit card.
Any offer on your part to pay will be dismissed.
Once the credit card for Houdini Bank is located, we take possession of our skillfully ordered meal.
We're off again to her home and I found it rather ironic at one point when there was
another older woman driver that was a little slow in choosing a direction in which to travel.
I caught the remark that "old women that don't know where they're going shouldn't be driving".
I'm pretty sure that she's pulling a fast one on me all the time and having a blast as she does it.
Here is about the closest example of a quick trip with my aunt. Instead of little Billy, imagine her car instead:
It's not over yet!
I have a hoot with this aunt and always have.
It's good to find a relative that is a free spirit. Be cool, and hang on! Riot on! 
