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Hey Larry’s JOTW #77

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(4/9/2022 2:24:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (148 times)

Mickey had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Mickey was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." Mickey called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press, and Wall Street, responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Mickey went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 4/9/2022 2:25:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    As the business world turns……..  
Date: 4/9/2022 6:22:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I suppose that you're going to lay the blame for this joke on the previous guy.
I think it's about time to reorganize.

  
Date: 4/9/2022 7:13:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I don’t understand why you are complaining. After all, you’re the one who passed the three envelopes onto me…..  
Date: 4/9/2022 8:47:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: That's a good joke. I mentioned it to kronk, but he got all agitated and took off to the "7-11" to trade a couple dozen crabs for a six
pack of "Lone Star" beer. On the way out the door, he was mumbling something that sounded like "Remember the Alamo!" Go figure?
  
Date: 4/9/2022 11:22:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Lone Star beer? I’ve heard of i5 but have yet to try a bottle. Ever try Brew 102? If not, don’t bother. Made from the water that flows from the L.A. river……  
Date: 4/9/2022 2:22:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Judging from your comment, I'd say that "Lone Star" is about the same "bouquet" as your "Brew 102." If I had more crabs to trade, I would have tried for a pack of "Blue Buds." These days, I like those the best. Alas, it is what it is, and you got to do with what you got.

"L.D."---I think we should head out to the garbage dump and see if we can bribe somebody for a bottle of contaminated "Blanton's Single Barrel."

kronk---I thought about that, too, but the guy on duty this week doesn't eat seafood.

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 4/9/2022 4:24:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I passed off a roll of toilet tissue to you.
What have you been doing with the real envelopes?

  
Date: 4/9/2022 5:34:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...by the way, here I am reacting to that joke:

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/UnconsciousGleamingJaeger-max-1mb.gif

  
Date: 4/9/2022 8:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I would’ve used Clyde the Orangutan from Any Which Way But Loose.  
Date: 4/11/2022 6:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    "Right turn, Clyde!"..."Left turn, Clyde!" "Put the thing in reverse and run slap dab over `em!"

kronk---Hey, hey, hey! What is it with you?

"L.D."---I mauled a possum, down by the crossroads, and my blood is up!

kronk---Steady, now, dog! I have a 900 ft per second airgun, loaded with a Tylenol PM dart and I'm prepared to use it!

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 4/11/2022 8:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...Kronk...check the barrel on that air gun.
L.D. has been acting funny lately and may have plugged it.

  
Date: 5/20/2022 7:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler You may have something, there. "L.D." has, without a doubt, in my mind, anyway, a vindictive streak. When we have a difference of opinion and go to bed,
I've found that many times I wake up in the middle of the night to find that I am short of breath, and his rump has somehow managed to re-locate itself to
my pillow.

"L.D."---You're delusional, man...(hehehe)
  

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