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Hey Larry’s JOTW #68

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(2/4/2022 11:46:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (140 times)

I dedicated this week’s JOTW to Kronk and his faithful sidekick, L.D. in honor of “ Number Two.”

I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him.

I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread...



I was rushed to hospital.

A Mad dog just started biting me and ripped off most of my ear.

Doctors have told me, I have an ear and a half to live.



My dog has to wear this cone till he heals from surgery. It helps with the biting, but the barking?

He sounds like a sub-whoofer.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 2/5/2022 4:50:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Wait for it……. Wait for it…….  
Date: 2/5/2022 7:53:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OW!

Well, THAT sucks. I was laughing so hard at the "pure bread" joke that I gouged out my right eye with my cereal spoon.

My lawyer will be in contact with your ambulance chaser. I hope you like living in a cave.

  
Date: 2/5/2022 8:06:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Well, if it isn’t the life of the party. What took you so long? Let me guess, the poutine food truck that normally comes in your neighborhood broke down, and you felt that it was your duty to get it back in a condition of whatever standards worthy of The Trailer Park Boys.

Can you guess the theme of the JOTW?
  
Date: 2/5/2022 8:14:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...the only theme that I can see here is that you're alluding to being personally constipated.
There are remedies for that you know.

  
Date: 2/5/2022 8:20:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Wow! Not even close. How are things at Possum Lodge these days?  
Date: 2/5/2022 9:11:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...we changed the name from Possum Lodge to A Canadian Tribute to Arkansas".
Red got wheeled off to a senior's home because he was getting up there and
kept duct taping his Depends to the tops of doors.

Harold has assumed control of the place now and we're planning a special
cookout with all of your favorite foods: branches, mud and road kill that
hasn't gotten too pungent.

I have sent an old nag with a dog cart to fetch you.

  
Date: 2/5/2022 9:34:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    LOL! Harold is your relative in some way no doubt. I have a year’s supply of Squirrel Hordurves and Mystey Meat Treats to share amongst the folks who gather at the weekly get together.  
Date: 2/5/2022 12:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 55251    You might want to rewrite these dog jokes. They are a bit ruff.  
Date: 2/5/2022 1:32:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    That’s true Morphix. They really had no bite. LOL !  
Date: 2/5/2022 1:37:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    BTW, Morphix has been the closest to guessing the theme.  
Date: 2/5/2022 7:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: I am totally stoked that you'd dedicate your "JOTW" to me and my pet human, kronk. I look forward to the "JOTW" every Saturday. I think that
kronk likes it too, though he's usually too busy rolling in carrion and then licking himself, to pay much attention to such civilized
entertainment.

kronk---Yo, dog! You got any "Moosehead Beer?"

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 2/5/2022 9:09:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Do they still make RED DOG beer ?  
Date: 2/6/2022 3:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry It's me, kronk. (Every now and then, "the dog" possesses me and reverses our identities.) I'm not sure if "Red Dog" is still on the market, anymore. I went to e-bay the other day and someone was trying to sell an empty 12 oz can for $4.95, American. What's the world coming to? I remember when I used to pick up cans, the most I ever got was like thirty cents for a pound of `em.
  
Date: 2/6/2022 4:50:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Well Kronk, I once paid an exuberant amount of money for an Olympia Beer can featuring the elusive Honus Wagner, you know, baseball player who’s supposed reason to have his likeness removed on a baseball card because he didn’t want children to take up smoking. ( He chewed tobacco, but I digress)

Anyway, I thought that beer can would be the next Holy Grail of collectibles like that baseball card.

Olympia Brewing Company was originally based in Tumwater, Washington. The only pro baseball team to arrive in the state of Washington was the Seattle Pilots…..

Yeah.
  
Date: 2/6/2022 4:53:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Seattle Pilots, 1969… went bankrupt the next year and moved to Milwaukee. Brewers.

Irony sucks.
  
Date: 2/6/2022 6:34:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry If the rumor is true, about Wagner, I would hail him as a "man of principle." For the record: "Kids; throw those stogies away! I finally "kicked the habit," after forty nine years and I wish I'd done that forty eight years and 364 days, sooner. Looking back, I think I could have been as fine a running back as "Earl Campbell," if I hadn't smoked during recess.

"L.D."---HA HA HA !!!! Don't let him kid you, folks. kronk was a third string, defensive end, who only got to play when the team starters all caught the "swine flu," from sharing cheap wine, two days before the last game of the season. His team "shattered" their school record, by "getting beat" 93-00.
  

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