Go to Unsolved Mystery Publications Main Index Go to Free account page
Go to frequently asked mystery questions Go to Unsolved Mystery Publications Main Index
Welcome: to Unsolved Mysteries 1 2 3
 
 New Mystery StoryNew Unsolved Mystery UserLogon to Unsolved MysteriesRead Random Mystery StoryChat on Unsolved MysteriesMystery Coffee houseGeneral Mysterious AdviceSerious Mysterious AdviceReplies Wanted on these mystery stories
 




Show Stories by
Newest
Recently Updated
Wanting Replies
Recently Replied to
Discussions&Questions
Site Suggestions
Highest Rated
Most Rated
General Advice

Ancient Beliefs
Angels, God, Spiritual
Animals&Pets
Comedy
Conspiracy Theories
Debates
Dreams
Dream Interpretation
Embarrassing Moments
Entertainment
ESP
General Interest
Ghosts/Apparitions
Hauntings
History
Horror
Household tips
Human Interest
Humor / Jokes
In Recognition of
Lost Friends/Family
Missing Persons
Music
Mysterious Happenings
Mysterious Sounds
Near Death Experience
Ouija Mysteries
Out of Body Experience
Party Line
Philosophy
Poetry
Prayers
Predictions
Psychic Advice
Quotes
Religious / Religions
Reviews
Riddles
Science
Sci-fi
Serious Advice
Strictly Fiction
Unsolved Crimes
UFOs
Urban Legends
USM Events and People
USM Games
In Memory of
Self Help
Search Stories:


Stories By AuthorId:


Google
Web Site   

Bookmark and Share



Hey Larry’s JOTW #65

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(1/15/2022 4:55:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (188 times)

Of travel bans and omicron……

The Pandemic has wreaked havoc on traveling. Why it has even caused problems for the television resort known as Fantasy Island.

It saddens me to say that Mr. Rourke has told Tatoo he’ll no longer be able to say “ Ze Plane! Ze Plane!”

Still no word however wether this has affected Gilligan’s Island………..

You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here

Scroll all the way down to read replies.

Show all stories by   Author:  5940 ( Click here )

Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 1/15/2022 7:44:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

Q: What do Hervé Villechaize and this joke have in common?

A: Both lack substance.

If you had asked me, I think Gary Coleman or a Hibachi grill would have been better in the role of Tattoo.

  
Date: 1/15/2022 7:50:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Q: What do Hekler and actor Krause Kinski have in common?

A: Both think too much of themselves and lack a sense of humor.

P.S., nobody asked you.
  
Date: 1/15/2022 7:54:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    *****Klaus****  
Date: 1/15/2022 7:54:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I bet he won’t even find a typo amusing.  
Date: 1/15/2022 8:04:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I must admit...that typo WAS funny!

You should o a "Typo of the Week" column.

  
Date: 1/15/2022 8:12:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Then my work here was successful. BTW, there are no Priceline.com deals to Canada due to CDC restrictions. Whose finger did you pull?  
Date: 1/15/2022 9:03:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I see you're being hurtful again with the comment about me being egotistical.
Why shouldn't I think too much of myself when nobody else is willing to?

What's that stuff on your shoe?

  
Date: 1/15/2022 9:13:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Not falling for the “ made you look” routine. BTW, what’s that crawling on your shoulder?  
Date: 1/15/2022 9:34:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...if only your JOTW had included plucked chickens bouncing on pogo sticks blowing
trumpets, as I had made a special request for, this nastiness wouldn't have arisen.

I have now decided to move off-planet to a place where people are nicer.

  
Date: 1/15/2022 12:00:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    You twist even your own words, you requested dancing Panda Bears from the private zoo of none other than Prince Andrew. Have fun moving to Buckingham Palace.  
Date: 1/16/2022 5:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry I've pretty much quit flying, altogether. The food in airport terminals is awful

"L.D."---Yeah! Last time we flew, you fell asleep in the "La Provence Patisserie & Cafe," and I got kidnapped and woke up two days later, in "The Maldives."

Me---"They" put "something" in my beverage.

"L.D."---I was sold into slavery. Some cat named "Ringo Amman," bought me and put me to work sniffing out endangered beach clams. It wasn't no "Fantasy island."

Me---Humpf! When I found you, you were in Kanyakumari, impersonating an Indian goddess.

"L.D."---Hey, it's all I could think of, at the time and anyway, I came from the sea, riding a magenta dolphin, with seaweed in my hair and wearing sunglasses.

Me---Hehe...You did look rather "spiffy."
  
Date: 1/16/2022 5:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Kronk, L.D.,

Your adventures are fascinating, yet I never hear any mention of passports, vaccinations or great deals through Priceline.com…..how do you manage cutting the red tape? Do you know someone on the hill? A speaker of the house?

Asking for a friend.
  
Date: 1/17/2022 11:25:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry You are very perceptive. "The organization" can certainly use such a quality. "Someone" will be in touch...Anyway..."L.D." and I cannot be distracted by such mundane things as room, board, accessibility, or transport. We are issued a "no limit" credit card and "certain" voice commands, to expedite things.

What I am about to disclose is "for your eyes only" and be advised that this comment will "likely" self destruct, "sometime" in the foreseeable future:

"L.D." and I have been "attached" to the office of the "Speaker of the House of Representatives of the United States of America" since 1789. (Sounds incredible, doesn't it?) It would take me a "very" long time to fully explain, so from that point in time, we'll fast forward about 233 years, to the present.

1/16/2022--"Saint" Francisco, California, U.S.A. (May, or May not have, actually transpired)

So, "L.D." and I reported back to "Madame Speaker's place" in San Francisco, to de-brief a completed mission. (We avoid "the hill" whenever we can, due to compromised security.) Our mission involved scouting Florida, U.S.A., Atlantic coastal region, from Miami to Key West, for a possible hostile takeover.

We turned over our "dossier" to "Nan-Nan," who tossed it into a corner and demanded that we stay and play "Fiasco." (a role playing game about ordinary people with powerful ambition and poor impulse control)

In the seven hour game that ensued, Madame Speaker played Bonnie Parker, "L.D." was "Rin-Tin-Tin," and I played "Madame Speaker's" hairdresser.

You DON'T want to know!

"L.D."---He might?
  
Date: 1/18/2022 4:46:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    A seven hour game? Role playing? Hair styling? Where do I sign up? I have an old style phone booth and a Superman costume in an undisclosed location!  
Date: 1/18/2022 7:18:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Right on, brother! Always good to have people that you can "trust" around, as some of the missions are rather "hairy." We could be like, "the tempestuous trio."

"L.D."---Cool! If Hekler came "onboard," we could be "the fab four."

kronk---I thinks that name's already taken.

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 1/18/2022 7:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: "Nan-Nan" got all excited about the Superman Costume. She sent me to find a Super girl getup. Do you know anything about "Shiatsu massage?"  
Date: 1/19/2022 4:15:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    No, but I’m a fast learner!  
Date: 1/19/2022 10:05:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Excellent! That's the kind of attitude that goes a long way towards furthering one's career.

***LATER***(Somewhere in Frisco)

"L.D."---All I could find, in the way of a Super Girl costume, was the cape.

"Nan-Nan"---That's all I need, anyway. Good boy. Here's a treat.
  
Date: 1/19/2022 6:21:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    LOL!  

Find great Easter stories on Angels Feather
Information Privacy policy and Copyrights

Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization

Pages:658 1292 1342 834 1329 1233 853 1498 551 329 883 262 104 138 52 961 582 978 710 1051 918 149 1457 1233 1510 159 1267 1078 1345 1349 820 1452 321 1317 1020 943 381 1145 322 682 626 821 459 1573 849 1468 1366 311 658 1565 1302 217 598 1576 580 53 479 970 889 852 1299 450 220 344 1173 1379 988 579 1251 799 963 1550 851 1262 589 23 976 253 1114 1558 247 814 1509 935 822 170 601 1381 322 1154