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DEMAND YOUR JOTW!

  Author:  5301  Category:(USM Events) Created:(1/1/2022 10:08:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (144 times)

 
 
Happy New Year everyone!
 
As much as I hate to say it, I woke this morning fully expecting to see a Saturday staple here at USM, the Joke of the Week.
I'm sure you all noticed it's absence too and were more than a little upset.
 
Sure, there WAS a smarmy little post that was passed off as a substitute for this feature but I'm not buying into it and neither should you!
 
Please add your name in the comments field as a sort of petition to get this guy back to his task.
There are no days off, regardless of occasion.
 
WHAT I THINK HAPPENED:
 
Someone give this guy a nudge
 
 
As suggested, I'm calling in the heavy artillery:
Please gripe, complain and whine NOW!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
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                    FOOL YOUR FRIENDS AND LAWYERS!
 
 
 
 
 

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 1/1/2022 10:09:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...warm fuzzies indeed!

  
Date: 1/1/2022 11:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Sounds more like a case of sour grapes to me.  
Date: 1/1/2022 12:57:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...sour grapes make the best whine.

  
Date: 1/1/2022 1:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    You would know.  
Date: 1/1/2022 3:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    BTW, my lawyer pointed out the fact that picture looks nothing like me, as I don’t have dark hair. In fact, I have no hair.

Secondly, it’s winter weather where I live, no green grass and the leaves have fallen.

I am accustomed to wearing track suits or sweatpants, not clothing from Kohl’s.

I smell a setup.
  
Date: 1/1/2022 4:37:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...I can see that you have also purchased the Amazon Deluxe Secret Agent Kit.

  
Date: 1/1/2022 5:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler I agree wholeheartedly. "They" came and collected my talking dog, shortly after midnight and when I logged on, later this morning, looking for a bit of "soul soothe," and didn't see the "JOTW." I mean, it was almost more than I could bear. I had a bottle of extremely cheap wine, for breakfast and now, I have a headache and the worst case of flatulence. "Come back, Hey Larry! You're my only hope!" Happy New Year!  
Date: 1/1/2022 7:51:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...I hear you Kronk. I've also found that a cheap bottle of wine with it's
associated headache and severe flatulence to be the only decent substitute
for Hey Larry's JOTW.

  
Date: 1/1/2022 8:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    Correction, that’s an ACME Deluxe Secret Agent Kit. Watching those Roadrunner/ Coyote cartoon’s taught me to get only the best!  
Date: 1/2/2022 10:15:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Update: I only see two signatures thus far. Maybe if you tried the “Tinker Bell” effect it would produce greater results?  
Date: 1/2/2022 10:30:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...Hey Larry...your helpful interference has been noted and acted upon.

  
Date: 1/2/2022 10:36:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Anything for a fellow USMer! Follow me for more tips.  
Date: 1/2/2022 10:52:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...I don't think I'll take THAT advice. Kronk told me about your bouts of nuclear flatulence.
Nice try though! You think I just fell off the back of a turnip truck?

  
Date: 1/2/2022 11:13:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Geez, you really should go back and read that warm and fuzzy tale that. I posted. Is this the way to start the New Year?  
Date: 1/2/2022 11:56:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...GO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE!

  
Date: 1/2/2022 11:57:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Yes, of course…Frau Blucher!  
Date: 1/2/2022 12:01:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...did you figure out the secret code yet?
Come on Sky Ranger, I know you can do it!

  
Date: 1/2/2022 2:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    You kiss your mother with that mouth?  
Date: 1/2/2022 4:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    I knew this kid, once. We called him "Tinkerbell," `cause he was good with pyrotechnics.

"L.D."---I want one!

kronk---How'd you get out?

"L.D."---I "know" people.

kronk---Tell you what; spring for the "Hair Growth Spray," and I'll give you Tinkerbell's phone number. I'm assuming that your intentions are "honorable."

"L.D."---Of course. Have you ever known me to be anything other than a "chivalrous beast?"

kronk---Ugh!
  
Date: 1/2/2022 4:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    You two should watch the movie “TOGO.”  
Date: 1/2/2022 6:31:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Thanks for the tip, brother. Always looking for a good flick.  
Date: 1/2/2022 10:51:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...just a quick reminder Kronk...he also liked those old BOGO commercials too. His taste is sketchy at best.

  
Date: 1/3/2022 1:35:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    At least I have taste.  
Date: 1/3/2022 3:07:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...and, you're less filling.

  
Date: 1/3/2022 5:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler "L.D." here: I'm so happy that you brought up "BOZO." It's been so long, but BOZO is still my absolute favorite clown! I love the hamburgers, too.

kronk---C'mon, man! He's talking about a phone deal! "BOGO," not BOZO! There "are" no hamburgers, either. You've got your clowns mixed up, too.

"L.D."---Wow! What a letdown. Can I at least have a beer?

kronk---All we have is "Dome Faux'm."

"L.D."---Ugh!
  
Date: 1/3/2022 7:03:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...I think we're all meandering away from the topic of this post which was the lack of a JOTW.

Now we're discussing BoJo. What does Britain's Prime Minister have to do with any of this???

  
Date: 1/4/2022 4:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler There may indeed be truth to what you say. I've noticed lots of "meandering," also. I think we need to add more actors to our troupe. More participation in posts.

"L.D."---"Meandering" around in kronk's posts will inevitably lead one to a "dead end."

kronk---Ugh!
  
Date: 1/4/2022 6:08:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...Kronk...interesting idea about getting more people involved. Do you think the powers-that-be
here at USM would consider cash incentives for folks willing to tolerate us? We could defray costs
by putting Hey Larry on a giant hamster wheel connected to a generator which would create the electricity
to run our bitcoin mining side gig.

  
Date: 1/4/2022 6:40:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler I would feel bad about trying to extort money from the "powers that be." Through the years, the owners have put up with more than any rational creature should have to deal with. However.......

Another of my "talking dog's" talents is, his ability to render himself totally invisible. I have been formulating a scheme whereas we should be able make a mint, dealing with the two primary political parties in the U.S.A. I propose that we lease "the talking dog" out, to one, or the other parties, during campaign speeches, state of the union addresses, etc. and have "the talking dog" render himself invisible and savagely bite the speaker.

Hey Larry and yourself could be in charge of scheduling and extortion, while I drive "L.D." around the country. If we approached the dog carefully, I'm confident that he would work for red meat. (He cannot resist freshly butchered "coypu,; an invasive species, presently undermining the country's infrastructure.)...Call me
  
Date: 1/4/2022 7:05:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...I also LOVE the idea of LD biting the politicians.
It's a sorry world that decided that sanitoriums and asylums
had no value in a modern society but here we are, aren't we?

  
Date: 1/4/2022 7:06:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...I agree with you regarding all the nonsense that George and Ginger have had to put up with
over the years but I'm not going to attempt to defend Hey Larry nor apologize for his actions.

It's funny that you mention the extortion angle. Just a few days ago, Hey Larry was reminiscing
about his high school days and especially about his time on the girls' gymnastics team.

He told me that he used to be able to twist his body into all kinds of shapes - even a ball!
That's the kind of extortionist we need.

  
Date: 1/4/2022 7:14:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

CORRECTION NOTICE

The author did not wish to imply that current company required special homes.
We apologize for any misunderstandings. It's the rest of the world that needs help.

  
Date: 1/4/2022 7:18:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...now I'm apologizing as "we"?
Interesting.

What I meant to say was that Hekler and myself are sorry for any slights we may have cast.

  
Date: 1/5/2022 5:20:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Hey! I almost made the Olympic Team , I could’ve been a contender had it not been a boycott.  
Date: 1/5/2022 8:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler We need more members to pitch in and help preserve what sanity "w"e have left. My personality is already split half a dozen ways and, after studying "our" recent postings, I'm afraid "the condition" may be contagious.

"L.D."---I recommend wearing a $35. mask and imbibing two shots (of good tequila) twice, daily.

kronk---Ahhhhhh.
  
Date: 1/5/2022 9:05:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler No offense taken, amigo. Professional intervention can sometimes bring "the curious" back from the edge of despair. "We" all need a "place of refuge."

"L.D."---Hekler I wouldn't take "him" too seriously. He was kicked out of his last support group (BBB, Washington, D.C., U.S.A.) for blurting out; "line them all up, against the wall, and shoot `em."
  

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