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Date: 12/20/2021 6:07:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Yeah, the The USPS never has any problems getting my bills to my address on time……..  |
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Date: 12/20/2021 8:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...you have bills for living in a cave?  |
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Date: 12/20/2021 10:45:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That's MAN cave to you. |
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Date: 12/20/2021 10:48:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
BTW, if you happened to gotten my DVD collection of Mr. ROGER'S Neighborhood delivered by mistake, I want it back before the 25th. |
Date: 12/20/2021 10:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "L.D." here: You know, kronk received a suspicious looking package the other day. It was postmarked "Bogota, Columbia." When I asked him what it was, he got all evasive sounding and mumbled something about it being "toothache medicine." kronk---I have only one word for you, "chatty baby," and that word is "corbata." "L.D."---gulp  |
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Date: 12/20/2021 11:02:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I know somebody in New Mexico that runs a vacuum cleaner repair shop, meanwhile start feigning amnesia until your new fake I.D., is ready. |
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Date: 12/20/2021 11:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry My newest I.D. is really a piece of work. I got this dude from "Gun Barrel City" to do it. Only cost me $37.50, too. "L.D."---Proud of that, are you? Remember, "you get what you pay for." kronk---What's wrong with my I.D., Mr. Perfect? "L.D."---Well, first of all, the info is printed on cheap card stock and the photo looks like your Aunt Hit. So, you're a four foot, ten inch Dutch expatriate, named "Kong King?" C'mon, man? kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 12/20/2021 1:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
At least they only charged you $37.50 Right? This guy up in Canada charges much more and he uses toilet paper. That explains the mass shortage we had at the beginning of Covid. |
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Date: 12/20/2021 1:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I think you should have a word with whomever you ordered those DVDs from. What I received was Season 1-5 of "Mistress Rona Wears a Hood". Fat chance you'll ever see those again. |
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Date: 12/20/2021 3:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: kronk is down and out with a toothache (or, perhaps it's the toothache medicine?) I, on the other hand, am a huge fan of "Miss Rona," and I have "procured" a certain high limit piece of plastic. Let's "slouch on the couch," with "all" the trimmings. Call me! |
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Date: 12/20/2021 6:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
RE: The USPS represents the best of customer service Hekler, knowing the USPS as well as I do, it’s obvious that my order was probably sent way south towards Kronk’s neck of the woods. That being said, there probably a good chance that you have become a member of Fingerhut, where you don’t need a credit card or good credit. Good luck with the DVD collection, I hope you like Teletubbies., |
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Date: 12/20/2021 6:34:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
L.D., Being the cosmopolitan canine that you are, may I inquire more regarding the “slouch on the couch “ and “all the trimmings?” |
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Date: 12/21/2021 8:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: Back in the "sixties," I was helping kronk research a sociology paper on "pink collar ghettoes. We hoofed it through Topanga, Watts and Desire, but found little evidence of any pink collars. I did, however, pick up some of the lingo. Therefore, the term "slouch on the couch, with all the trimmings," translated into "straight," means "let's hang out and watch Rona DVD's. I got kronk's credit card and the sky's the limit." kronk---I've had to change my card number eleven times in the past six months. |
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Date: 12/21/2021 9:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...you should be feeling blessed that LD is only into a little harmless S&M. Things could be much, much worse. Think online games and casinos. LD...have you got a copy of "Debbie Does Arkansas"? |
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Date: 12/21/2021 10:42:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Thanks for translating. Say, are you really sure you want Hekler slouching about your Couch? He probably will want to over stay his welcome and before you know it he'll be crying " Squatters Rights!" And much like L.D., he'll eat just about anything so put a lock on the refrigerator and pantry. |
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Date: 12/21/2021 10:44:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Oh. And keep on eye on your Pay Per View account....just saying |
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Date: 12/21/2021 6:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler If you only knew. That dog has kept me in "The Danger Zone" for the last 65,999,070 years. It must have been about 35,000 years back. He had a friend named Debbie and they "ate" Dallas. "L.D."---Alright, now, if you're going to tell it then, do tell it right. At the time, Dallas was known as "Buffalo Hump" and Debbie and I had just negotiated a nearby, sterile desert. We were beyond famished. "Buffalo Hump" was there so, we ate it. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 12/21/2021 6:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I would advise against going anywhere near that bacteria trap that "L.D." calls a "couch." The local "palmetto bugs" have even declared it off limits. You don't even want to know what he keeps in the fridge. |
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Date: 12/22/2021 5:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk/LD...you guys have been EVERYWHERE! Have you ever seen the Fountain of Youth? (asking for Hey Larry) |
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Date: 12/22/2021 5:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Why, "the fountain of youth" is a myth, of course. At least, that's what the chick in the pleated, satin, loungewear told us. She was sitting outside the western most gate of a place called "Eldorado," holding a golden cup and begging for wisdom. "L.D."---Never mind him, Hekler. He thinks that just because he's immortal, he can talk trash on people's dreams. kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 12/22/2021 5:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
To whom it may concern: I .... "L.D."---There is only Hey Larry and Hekler. Kronk---There have to be others. I'm starting to get "that" feeling, again. Help me! "You" know what to do! Put it on! Quickly! "L.D."---When "he" gets this way, the only thing that will calm him is "twenty or thirty minutes of GET READY by, RARE EARTH." kronk---Do it! |
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