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Hey Larry’s JOTW #58

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(11/19/2021 10:37:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (231 times)

An older man had serious hearing problems for many years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear 100%.

The old man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

The man replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 11/19/2021 10:49:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Two older men we’re sitting in a cafe drinking coffee.

First man says, “I just bought this brand new hearing aid. It’s top of the line and cost me $7,000!”

Second man says, “What kind is it?”

First man replies, “ 8:30 “.
  
Date: 11/20/2021 6:37:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry My hearing is pretty well "shot." Basically, life is just one big "misheard song lyric."

"L.D."---"Help me Obi-Wan; You're my only hope."

kronk---What?

"L.D."---I just fantasized seeing you hanging at the end of a rope.

kronk---What's that you say?

"L.D."---"Come to me and I will give you rest."

kronk---What do you mean; nothing is real. It's only a test???

"L.D."---(hehehehe....This is fun!)

kronk---Ugh????
  
Date: 11/20/2021 9:03:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    When words fail you, try reading lips. If that doesn’t work, put on a pair of dark sunglasses, grab a white cane, grab a guitar and bring L.D. , along. He can sing and dance while you sing them blues , picking up some coin along the way.

I’ll even offer my services as manager!
  
Date: 11/21/2021 4:49:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I wonder if Hekler heard the one about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa.
  
Date: 11/21/2021 5:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: I thought that your idea was spot on, except for the part about kronk singing the blues. When I say that the man sounds like a "crow with a speech impediment," I am actually being kind. I, on the other hand sound like a young "Mick Jagger."

kronk wanted to pin a tail on my behind (I was born without one.) and have me climb on his shoulder and chatter, like some sort of spaced out ape. Can you imagine that? I told him that if I did that, I would be way too close to his jugular vein, and would more than likely attack him.

I can tell by his comments, that Hekler loves your jokes. He may have been kidnapped, again. I have it on good authority that "they" are venturing north, looking for souls to steal.
  
Date: 11/21/2021 5:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da".....Don't you just love "The Police."   
Date: 11/22/2021 2:54:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Yes L.D., Hekler does love the JOTW doesn’t he? Why it’s because of that I continue to bring the very best to the table each week, as I wouldn’t want to disappoint him.

A talking dog that sings like a young Mick Jagger? There’s got to be a future in that somewhere, right? After all, Col. Parker had Elvis!
  
Date: 11/23/2021 11:24:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry "L.D." here: I hate alligators! One tried to eat me, twice, on the same day. About the only way that I would ever consider eating one of those monsters is to flay all the meat off the animal's head, get a large pot of tequila to boiling, make a soup, then toss the skull and drink the juice.

kronk---You're commenting on the wrong post.

"L.D."---What do you mean?

kronk---That comment belongs on Hey Larry's first ever JOTW.

"L.D."---Well, whatever, it's still a good recipe. Sure to please a crowd.

kronk---Ugh!
  
Date: 11/25/2021 8:55:00 AM  From Authorid: 31531    :1  
Date: 11/25/2021 8:56:00 AM  From Authorid: 31531    LOL!!!
  
Date: 11/25/2021 2:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...once again, Hey Larry leads the pack by amassing huge numbers of readers that can
actually type out coherent sentences by using actual words. Things sure have changed.

  
Date: 11/25/2021 2:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...personally, I find it reprehensible that you choose to poke fun at hearing challenged persons like Kronk and myself.

How low can you go? Are you trying to audition for the opening act at a Trump rally?

  
Date: 11/25/2021 2:20:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...if this is what you call "bringing the best things to the table",
you may want to change your practice audience from trees to real people.

  
Date: 11/25/2021 5:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler "L.D." here: Happy to read that "they" didn't get you. I'm a little worried about kronk, though. "They" lured him down the street with a pot full of hog maws and some sort of clear liquid (in a mason jar) and I haven't seen him since. I think that "they" finally got fed up with his insulting "the speaker of the house of representatives of the United States of America," and came to collect him. I imagine "they" took him to Oslo, Norway, or possibly, Riverside, California.  
Date: 11/25/2021 5:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...hey there LD! In Kronk's defense, hog maws can be a pretty seductive lure that few but the strongest minds can ignore.

I once got suckered into a used car lot by the old "dollar on a fishing line" ploy. It wasn't even close to hog maws but
I was a pretty naive guy in my formative years. These days, I won't chase anything less than a twenty.

  
Date: 11/25/2021 6:05:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    ……once again, Hekler proves he truly is the “ Belle of the Ball “ by arriving fashionable akin to a day late and a Kardashian short…..  
Date: 11/25/2021 6:06:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    …… Whar did you say?  
Date: 11/25/2021 7:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...you have a nice day too!

  
Date: 11/26/2021 12:10:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Did you get your fill of turkey stuffing?  
Date: 12/9/2021 4:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    "L.D." here: Now, "he" wants to stuff a turkey with hog maws!   

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