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Date: 11/13/2021 3:49:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Where do food condiments go when they need to see a doctor? The Mayo clinic  |
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Date: 11/13/2021 3:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
A buddha with a hotdog stand and gets a customer... "I want one with everything!" says the guy to the solemn looking monk. With ceremonious presicion and speed the guy virtually assembles the hot dog with all the sauces, condiments and extras in mid air. Within seconds he hands the hotdog to the baffled guy. "That'll be 5 dollars sir." The guy hands him a ten that the monk quickly pockets and suddenly his stare becomes empty. After a moment of disbelief the man angrily shouts "Hey buddy where's my change!?" The monk closes his eyes and unmoved says "Change, my friend, comes from within." |
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Date: 11/13/2021 6:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'm going to get you for this!  |
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Date: 11/13/2021 6:17:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I was wondering how long it would take for you to “catch up”. |
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Date: 11/13/2021 6:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I guess you relish the thought that you were able to Grey Poupon my morning. |
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Date: 11/13/2021 6:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...you mayo may not believe it but this joke just put you on the express elevator to Hellman! |
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Date: 11/13/2021 7:53:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That’s quite a pickle, wouldn’t you say? Bet you can’t wait to dance the salsa on my grave. |
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Date: 11/13/2021 8:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...we wouldn't be doing this if your father had played it safe and used a condiment. |
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Date: 11/13/2021 8:30:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
He preferred Tabasco, hot stuff! |
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Date: 11/13/2021 8:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...that's where he went wrong. He should have aimed for the stars and used Miracle Whip. |
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Date: 11/13/2021 9:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! Wasabi up wit dat? |
Date: 11/13/2021 10:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "L.D." here: "Cinco" is a pretty big deal, down here. As far as "mayo," I have to admit that it does have it's uses, but I was never a huge fan. I'm more of a "mustard dog," myself. I especially don't want mayo anywhere near my poutine......"What !!....I'm a little busy here!".....I'm commenting on "Hey Larry's" JOTW....Well, you'll just have to wait, is all...... kronk is bed ridden and can't come to the computer. In fact, he can only mumble and if I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't be able to understand a word.......I don't think "they" care about what's going on with you......"The truth shall set you free?" Oh, c'mon! If I were you, I would not advertise....Oh, alright. I still don't think it's the right thing to do, but, if you insist.....Last night, kronk and I went to the high school football bi-district playoffs. I got to go, because it was "dog night." .....Anyway, kronk was so absorbed in the game that he about "popped a kidney." He held it so long that he could hardly climb down the steps to go to the latrine. About the time that he staggered out of sight, the "home team" scored a touchdown and the crowd went wild. I mean, the fans roared for about two minutes and then stopped abruptly. (you know how scholastic sporting events are) Well, as soon as the celebratory roaring ceased, we became aware of a somewhat lesser, but still pretty intense roar, coming from below the bleachers. It seems that our boy made a mistake (he says) and wandered into the ladies restroom. He "claims" that when he entered, there was no one in there, but when he exited, the room was awash with females. One, in particular, took exception to his presence and began berating him. A rather heated discussion involving, among other things, "identity politics" ensued and then, well, to make a long story short....The woman beat him in the kidneys so severely that he only survived because the opposing teams cheerleading squad, who were in the restroom for a break, pulled the enraged woman off him. kronk also sustained two black eyes, a crushed toe and lost one of his eight teeth. I won't get into the legal ramifications, but we didn't get home until 0500, this morning.  |
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Date: 11/13/2021 10:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...LD... tell Kronk that we DO care about what's going on with him. We really do! He's about the only admin that comes on often enough to notice us and can effectively have us booted off of the site. Then it's back to MySpace or, in Hey Larry's case, cute videos of kittens gamboling about the house. Why, just a few minutes ago, Hey Larry messaged me and asked me if I thought it might be a masculine faux pas for him to send flowers to you. I told him he should go for it as long as it wasn't white lilies and maybe he could add some of those cheerful mylar helium balloons. Personally, these symptoms make me suspicious that Kronk may just be recovering from a night out on the town. I remember them well. Still, given our ages, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and considered him past those type of antics. Therefore, I will rise to the occasion and send Hey Larry the funds with which to add on the mylar balloons. We should all get together on Christmas Eve and emcee an ache-and-pain-athon in Jerry Lewis' memory. I'd even man the phones! |
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Date: 11/13/2021 10:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...LD... with regard to the washroom incident, if Kronk had been smart about it, he could have told the woman that he was suffering from a gender changing issue that was wearing deeply on his mind. I'm sure that this would have been enough to have these women become sympathetic. I'm glad to hear that he didn't get too beaten up. Those southern women can get pretty riled. |
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Date: 11/13/2021 2:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
YES! YES! YES! Hekler is correct. WE really do CARE, Really! I have a special bouquet in mind with a coffee mug. ( I ♥️ Kronk ) And if Hekler is manning the phone lines, there’s no telling how soon we could get that shelter up and running. |
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Date: 11/14/2021 6:48:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
**** heart *** ^^^^^ Pictures fail me, but words say it all. |
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Date: 11/14/2021 6:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler "L.D." here: Such a kind gesture; those flowers. I actually saw kronk tearing up, when they were delivered. (Poppies are his favorite.) He had me bring him a dinner tray and his portable chemistry set and is in the process of "refining" them, as I type this. The woman who mauled kronk came over to apologize for the misunderstanding. She blamed the "super vitamin" prescription drug that she ingested on the way to the ball game. She actually seems like a pretty nice person. She brought me gourmet dog treats; the good stuff, too. She and Mrs. Kronk are out on the lanai drinking wine. Kronk spoke to her through the door. He accepted her apology and when she asked if there was anything that she could do, he asked her for a bouquet of poppies. Ugh? |
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Date: 11/14/2021 6:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: Kronk has been locked in his room for the past eight hours and refuses to open the door. I can hear voices in there and all the voices sound like kronk. About a half hour ago, he slipped a note under the door, that read: "I heart you, too. Send more of those flowers!" |
Date: 11/15/2021 4:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
LOL!!!  |
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Date: 11/15/2021 6:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 998
Awwww ... ya got me with that one my friend. I didn't see the Sinko de Mayo comin' at me until it hit ... lol I will be retelling this one.   |
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Date: 11/15/2021 3:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Ginger |
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Date: 11/15/2021 4:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Ginger, Zema, Hey Larry & Hekler "L.D." here: I am so excited! Four, and I repeat, FOUR, different people commented on this post! kronk was excited also, but he could only manage a one word reply, before he lost his vision and his left knee went out. (It was actually kinda' funny to watch.) Anyway....Keep up the great work. Let's shoot for a half dozen! |
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