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Hey Larry’s JOTW #54

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(10/23/2021 12:17:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (180 times)

A man goes to the doctor, concerned about his wife's hearing.

The doctor says, "Stand behind her and say something and tell me how close you are when she hears you."

The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen, cutting carrots on the countertop. About 15 feet away he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Nothing.

He gets halfway to her and repeats the same question

. Nothing.

Very concerned, he gets right behind her and asks again "What's for dinner?" She turns around and says "For the THIRD time, beef stew!"

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 10/23/2021 12:19:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Huh? What’s that you say?  
Date: 10/23/2021 8:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...it works for me.

  
Date: 10/23/2021 9:00:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    We should form a couple therapy group that specializes in selective hearing and other ways to bring out the best in any relationship. There could besminars, books, podcasts….$$$$$$ rolling in!  
Date: 10/23/2021 9:06:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...we could call our system "Nag-B-Gone".

  
Date: 10/23/2021 3:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...let me know if you're interested...I'm thinking about starting a little clique here at USM and the name: "Loyal Order of Old Guys" (aka LOOG) came to mind.
If you're interested in becoming a LOOGIE, contact me. Fly this past Kronk too and see if he also has the rebel spirit.

  
Date: 10/23/2021 3:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...if you didn't like that name, how about "Brave Order of Old Guys" (aka BOOG)
You could be one of the founding BOOGers!

  
Date: 10/23/2021 4:27:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Wow! Those are some real nifty titles that’s for sure! I must ponder this while trying to think of a witty acronym for ol’ farts……  
Date: 10/23/2021 4:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...how about "Old Farts For A Lifetile" (aka OFFAL)

  
Date: 10/23/2021 4:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...*ahem...LIFETIME

  
Date: 10/23/2021 4:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...or is that an offal name too?

  
Date: 10/23/2021 4:51:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I had a REALLY good idea earlier but X Men was already in use.

  
Date: 10/24/2021 3:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry My hearing is certainly not what it used to be.

"L.D."---Haha! Your hearing was shot, forty years ago.

kronk---Do you mind?

"L.D."---Sorry....Hey, can I change my name to "Viper?"

kronk---No! May I continue my narrative?

"L.D."---Please, continue.

kronk---Mrs. Kronk and I work together and get things done, despite our infirmities. She can see close, really well, but everything gets hazy out past twenty yards, while I can see a red bug on a squirrel's behind at 100yds, but can't see my own hand if I wave it in front of my own face.

"L.D."---hehehe....

kronk---Yeah...Go ahead and laugh it up, wise guy. I wanna' see how well you see, when you get to be 88 millions years old.

"L.D."---hehehe....
  
Date: 10/24/2021 3:36:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    88 million years old? I’d like to see that myself.  
Date: 10/24/2021 4:58:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Get yourself a good dog and eat plenty poutine and you might just make it.

"L.D."---Pay no attention to him, Hey Larry. Crab season is over and he's abusing "the medicine," again.
  
Date: 10/24/2021 5:03:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Good dog, good dog.  
Date: 10/26/2021 6:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I know what you mean about the hearing Kronk. Mine ain't what it used to be either.

Viper...cool name! Good for the street creds too, right?

  
Date: 10/26/2021 6:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...define "medicine". A friend wants to know.

  
Date: 10/27/2021 5:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler "L.D." here: "He" transfers the contents of a three liter bottle of "151 rum" into a wide mouth mason jar and tosses in a cup of fresh blue crab gills. He
"claims" that nasty mess helps him breathe easier during the off season.
  
Date: 10/27/2021 5:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler "L.D." and "Headboard Harris" are trying to start a "snake cult." I told him that "Viper" is out of the question, but I'd be agreeable if he wanted to
change his name to something like, "hog nose."

"L.D."---Ugh!
  

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