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Date: 9/26/2021 5:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Imagine trying to convince family members that the body IS the deceased relative……….as if they wouldn’t know?  |
Date: 9/26/2021 7:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  What a shock to the system, that would be. Makes you wonder about those "closed casket" ceremonies, eh?I'm opting for a "Viking" send off, myself. You know, where "they" place you in your scow of a crab boat, pile a bunch of driftwood all over everything, set you in the ocean, at an outgoing tide and someone shoots a flaming arrow, to ignite the mess. Then all your "friends" hang around, drinking beer and making fun of your life, until the tide carries you out of sight, or, the five gallon plastic bucket of gasoline (That one of your "friends" hide amongst the tinder.) goes off and everybody says "COOL" and the boat sinks. "L.D."---I wanna' shoot the arrow.  |
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Date: 9/26/2021 10:20:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I was opting for a basic cream- a- Tory situation with little fanfare, but your “Viking “ send off sounds like a good idea. Especially since they know who’s getting the send off after paying for the wake in advance. No mistaking that! L.D., we’re you an advisor on that Errol Flynn movie….Robin Hood? |
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Date: 9/26/2021 3:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: Oh, I remember that one! Robin was the dude that robbed the rich and gave it all (minus expenses) to the poor. Sounds sorta like what the present administration is trying to push. I've seen the same thing back in 32 A.D. Except, in that one, "they" ended up eating the poor. kronk---That's awful! Shades of "Idi Amin Dada Oumee." "L.D."---Yeah; him, too. |
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Date: 9/26/2021 3:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Ya know LD.? I think you’re onto something about the way our government has been giving away free money only now folks have to go back to work because the free handouts are over for the time being….. Say, do you remember back in the day when Jay Leno was an up and coming stand- up comedian? And he was doing those “Doritos” commercials? And the catch phrase was “Don’t worry. We’ll make more” as he snacked away? Well, I kinda feel the same way with our National debt and , well, don’t worry, they’ll PRINT more. |
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Date: 9/27/2021 4:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: Kronk and I steered clear of Germany, back in the thirties and forties, (for obvious reasons) but I did receive a few letters from a Doberman pinscher friend of mine, named "Karl." He told me that during the late thirties, his masters were feeding him aged beefsteak, but by the time the mid forties rolled around, it took 397,000 German marks to buy a 14 oz. can of SPAM. (If you dealt to the "right" people, anyway.) kronk---Wow! That's insane! What did the poor people eat? "L.D."---Why, other poor people, of course. kronk---YE, GADS! "L.D."---The truth is not always pretty. kronk---YE GADS! "L.D."---Quit saying that. You're starting to upset me. kronk---Where in "The wide, wide, world of sports," is Hekler? We need a level head in this post, FAST! |
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Date: 9/27/2021 7:07:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I have it on a paid informant that’s close to the source of the matter , Hekler is on sabbatical. Although that sounds religious, it isn’t. That being said, my lawyer has reminded me not to go further as ……… |
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Date: 9/28/2021 3:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I think that we should give it another seventeen hours, or so, and if "they" have not released Hekler, we should set the dog on the trail. "L.D."--I assume that when you say "the dog," you are referring to me? kronk---Yes, of course. We'll get you an article of Hekler's clothing, you know, a shirt, a shoe, a sock, underwear, etc. and you should be able to take it from there. "L.D."---Hey, this is the twenty first century. Forget the laundry; I was thinking more along the lines of his checkbook, money clip, or credit card. kronk---Ugh! . |
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Date: 9/28/2021 5:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
L.D. has the right idea. I mean, really….would YOU want to smell Hekler’s underwear? A simplified method would be to do a “Silver Alert” for senior citizens who didn’t show up for the early bird special two days in a row. How difficult can it be to find a grumpy old Canadian that loves poutine? |
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Date: 9/29/2021 1:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry "L.D." here: That reminds me of kronk's college days. (He went for one semester.) There was a call around the dorms that a "panty raid" was set for the "Delta Kappa Delta" sorority house, one Thursday, after "lights out." Kronk was extremely gullible, back then and the upper classmen took full advantage. "The plan" was to move a twenty foot extension ladder to the side of the house where the reigning head cheerleader's room was located. (For the sake of this narrative, we'll just call her "Twilla Bum Bum." ) After the ladder was in place, "someone" would climb up and claim a pair of Twilla's "Oh la la, Cheri Caged briefs," (size medium, 2-8) autographed by, non other than "Twilla Bum Bum," herself." Of course, our boy kronk scurried up that ladder like a squirrel on caffeine. When he got to the top, he was met by the dorm's 64 year old house mother and three female shot putters, who laid hold of kronk and held him while the housemother roughly pulled a pair of underwear over his head and duct tapped them in place. Needless to say, kronk made his way down the ladder as best he could and upon making landfall, found that the underwear were indeed autographed, by the 265 fullback of the football team. The inscription read: "Always time for you." Chester (Bull) Macgursky. kronk---How could you? "L.D."---Hey; it is, what it is. |
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Date: 9/29/2021 5:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Sooooo L.D., I take it that was the reason Kronk only attended one semester at that illustrious institution of education? If you will pardon me for saying so, the “House Mother” …….was she from the U.S.S.R.? For the record, don’t need anymore info regarding MacGursky……..l.l |
Date: 9/29/2021 5:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Actually, "Chester" and I became good friends, for the remainder of my semester. I agreed to babysit his girlfriend, while he was out...Well, anyway, I babysat his girlfriend.  "They" told me that I wasn't applying myself and room needed to be made for "serious" students. "L.D."---I thought you got expelled for head butting the dean's daughter's boyfriend. kronk---"They' framed me. Fact of the matter is, I tripped and his head happened to be in the way. "L.D."---You're really going "off topic." kronk---Ugh! |
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Date: 9/29/2021 6:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Sounds like a case for “ Judge Judy” if you ask me. If Hekler were around he’d no doubt offer his legal services pro Bono… |
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Date: 10/1/2021 10:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...did somebody call for an ambulance chaser?  |
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Date: 10/2/2021 3:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler!!!! "L.D." here: Good to read you, man. I knew that "they" couldn't hold you for very long. I have gotten ahold of "the dean's" daughter's boyfriend and he just happens to have bought (and held) Amazon shares, when the shares were thirty nine cents. He is beyond "set" and is still seeking satisfaction over the "head butt" incident that occurred fifty two year ago. If you'll work with me on this, I think we can load our wagon and put kronk in the dungeon, in the process. I was there and saw everything: "Kronk was lit as bourbon street, on a Saturday night. He came skipping up the steps that led to the library. Totally out of control, as usual, missed the door and slammed into a full length, plate glass window, ricocheted off and into the the dean's daughter's boyfriend and sent the guy rolling down the steps with a busted lip and a bloody nose. Reckless endangerment, if you ask me; maybe throw in a hit and run charge, also. Call me... |
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