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Date: 8/24/2021 6:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
That’s right folks! Don’t be fooled into doing the right thing to protect yourself and your loved ones, no sireeee! Why should you listen to common sense when you can inject bleach into your self and run for President, heck, Dictator! After all, you believe everything you see on television and the internet right? Well then I’ll say no more and let you follow the lemmings to the nearest cliff.  |
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Date: 8/24/2021 7:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...well said faithful correspondent! Bring the wife down fer some fine lobster bisque. Got kids? Bring the little shavers along too!  |
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Date: 8/24/2021 7:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Oh, and don’t forget to vote for me in the upcoming election. I’d prefer that you use a crayon or number two pencil to write my name on the ballot. After all you can’t trust them self check out machines at Wal-M art let alone a voting machine. |
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Date: 8/24/2021 7:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Sharpies are good too. Show them how manly you are. |
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Date: 8/24/2021 7:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Now that you brought it up, I’ll personally sign your ballot with a sharpie as long as you are voting for me. That’s right, vote for me and get a free autograph. Vote for me more than once and get a free HeklerCo coupon good for shipping your next order anywhere in the world. Limit one per vote. |
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Date: 8/24/2021 7:32:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...I have currently suspended shipping to Afghanistan. Just ship to Iran instead and we'll have someone smuggle it in to you. |
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Date: 8/24/2021 11:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
In that case, three vote minimum. |
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Date: 8/25/2021 4:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
I was so busy campaigning that I totally forgot to highlight the lobster bisque which is the talk of the town! It’s made from an old family recipe that’s sooooo secret even I don’t know how it’s made. But I guarantee that one spoonful is all you’ll need to put a grin on your chin. |
Date: 8/26/2021 8:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler  I love lobster.L.E.D.---I can take it, or leave it. Got any red meat?  |
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Date: 8/26/2021 10:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Does squirrel count? |
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Date: 8/26/2021 12:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry L.E.D. here: Yes, sir! I'll eat any squirrel I can sink my teeth into. Some of them put up a really good fight, also. Love their "nutty" flavor. |
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Date: 8/27/2021 5:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry... is that the same bisque recipe that your great-grandmammy used to make while shaving her back? |
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Date: 8/27/2021 5:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
No, you’re thinking of those Bigfoot characters that hang out in Boggy Creek. That recipe stinks! |
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Date: 8/27/2021 6:29:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk seems to like it but Kronk eats EVERYTHING! |
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Date: 8/28/2021 5:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler I'll tell you one thing I ain't eating, today, and that's menudo. The cook quit, without giving "me" any notice. I usually eat a steaming bowl full, every Saturday, while enjoying "Hey Larry's Joke of the Week." That's just the sort of disappointment that turns good citizens into political activists. |
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