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Hey Larry’s JOTW #43

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(8/6/2021 11:34:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (187 times)

This week is dedicated to my number one fan! He suggested that Bears Sleep in the woods and we all have to “Grin and Bear It.”

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Why do pandas like old movies? Because they’re in black and white.

What did the teddy bear say after dinner? I’m stuffed.

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? A bear faced lyre!

And of course, the all time funniest that my number one fan will surely love:

Why did the bear cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off!

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 8/6/2021 11:36:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I bet he can BEAR-LY contain his laughter.  
Date: 8/6/2021 11:38:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Bonus……what is as big as a bear, but weighs nothing?  
Date: 8/7/2021 6:17:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...another Saturday and another sampling of gut-busting jokes!

I'll probably have to buy more antacids today to get rid of the indigestion these things cause.

  
Date: 8/7/2021 6:21:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...reply to bonus riddle:

- your ego?

- a bear's shadow?

- your morning flatulence?

  
Date: 8/7/2021 7:50:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I hear HeklerCo has great over the counter medicine at Canadian prices! If you become a Rewards Club Member then you can rack up points for a case of Depends.  
Date: 8/7/2021 7:51:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Are you asking me for the answer to the bonus riddle? Or guessing because it's difficult to solve and you don't have a cheat sheet?  
Date: 8/7/2021 8:24:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I think that anyone that reads your JOTW could probably use a case of Depends.

  
Date: 8/7/2021 8:27:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...I'm not asking for the answer to the bonus joke (I'm pretty sure that I got it right with my third reply) and
only put the question marks in so that anybody unlucky enough to stumble onto this post would have a shot at leaving
their own snarky reply. I don't need a cheat sheet. I just use my Vulcan logic.

  
Date: 8/7/2021 10:23:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Awwwww, your just saying that because you want to increase sales.  
Date: 8/7/2021 10:26:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Vulcan logic must be Canadian for morning flatulence if that's the case. How do you bear it?  
Date: 8/7/2021 7:18:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...How am I going to increase sales? You and I are the only ones here.

  
Date: 8/7/2021 7:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...morning flatulence isn't hard to bear at all.
If you had watched your grandparents closely as a child you may have noticed that they
would lean to the left or right every once in a while and then get a smile on their face.

You can try this at home.

  
Date: 8/8/2021 9:12:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    ^^^^ That reminds me of a Humphrey Bogart movie. The one where Lauren Bacall asked if he knew how to whistle.  
Date: 8/8/2021 3:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry Bears have always fascinated me. (and frightened me, also) Thing about a bear is, they are so darned powerful.

L.E.D.---Don't act like a wimp, in front of these people. Sheeeesh.

Me---Hey! I don mess with no bruin, dog!

L.E.D.---Never mind that. Here's one for the book.

Me---What book?

L.E.D.---(ignores kronk) "Bexar" County in Texas, is pronounced. "BAY er"

Me---You mean like the animal and the aspirin?

L.E.D.---You got that. Put on something by "Madonna."

Lalalalala....
  
Date: 8/8/2021 5:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I will put on “ Vogue “ for ya L.E.D.

Strike a pose!
  
Date: 8/9/2021 6:35:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry L.E.D. here: How's this?

Kronk---Now, wait a minute mister! If you're going to do stuff like that, you're going to have to go outside
  
Date: 8/9/2021 6:43:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Party pooper….wrong choice of words….  
Date: 8/10/2021 5:59:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry If I had to use only one word to describe that pose, it would be "heinous."  
Date: 8/10/2021 6:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...which brings us to KRONK'S WORD OF THE DAY.

Today's word is : heinous.

Usage: After a long day in the barn, the farmer had heinous and heinat.

  
Date: 8/10/2021 6:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hekler That is about the "nicest" word I could think of. I mean, only a minute and a half into "Vogue" and L.E.D. started........Well, anyway. He loves to be photographed. I wouldn't do it, so he went next door to the mayor's house. The police came and L.E.D and the mayor are both on "double secret probation" until their court date.  
Date: 8/10/2021 7:01:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I’m trying to solve the puzzle without buying a vowel…..so here goes….

heinous and heinat are like night and day…just as Siegfried and Roy are Tiger trainers.
  
Date: 8/11/2021 5:55:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry I'm not sure, myself. I think it may have something to do with "The rape of the Sabine women?"  
Date: 8/11/2021 6:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    

...you're a laugh riot Alice!

  
Date: 8/13/2021 7:22:00 PM  From Authorid: 54570    the first one got me  
Date: 8/13/2021 10:41:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    It got Hekler as well. He’s doing time in Jellystone With Yogi after some picnic baskets went missing.  

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