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Hey Larry’s Joke of Week #33

  Author:  5940  Category:(Humor) Created:(5/29/2021 3:24:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (141 times)

Yes indeed Friends of USM, it’s time once again to bring fun and laughter into your life!

This week is dedicated to the fine officers of law enforcement, and also, to one USMer who just can’t wait till Saturday arrives...much like his childhood when Saturday morning cartoons ruled his life.



1. Officer: “I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” Driver: “I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Have you been eating donuts?”

2. Cop: “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?” Driver: “Isn’t it your job to tell me?”

3. Officer: “Why did you park here?” Me: “The sign says, ‘Fine for parking.'”

4. Cop: “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.” Driver: “You’re wrong, officer. It’s only my hat that makes me look that old.”

5. Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Me: “You were bored and wanted some company?”

6. Judge: “I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again.” Criminal: “That’s what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldn’t listen.”

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 5/29/2021 3:26:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    The last one is the one I got from Hekler, he’s been there before....  
Date: 5/29/2021 8:23:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee
yukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyukyuk
snorksnorksnork!

What a knee-slapper!

  
Date: 5/29/2021 8:30:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    I live to make your day! Make sure to look both ways before playing dodge with oncoming traffic!  
Date: 5/29/2021 8:53:00 AM  From Authorid: 5301    

...as much as I'd like to, I can't play dodge car any more as they now have an advantage - they
are faster and quieter and I am slower and my body parts all want to go in different directions.

Still, I thank you for your continuing support in your attempts to keep me feeling young with your
'Joke of the Week". It's just too bad that the are so disastrously and dismally un-entertaining.

I'd put money on you having a highly distant ancestor that lived in the Cretaceous Period and also
tried to pass this fodder off as humor. Thanks to you and yours for killing off all the dinosaurs!

  
Date: 5/29/2021 9:02:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    In reference to your ability to be less than an Olympic track athlete when going through your second childhood, might I suggest you go for it anyway? You could take out a life insurance policy beforehand and make other people in your life a lot happier. Not to mention society in general.

Your welcome when it comes to giving you a purpose in life. After all, you’re as young as you feel. And right now I bet you feel like theTin Man who needs some lubricant on the. Old joints.

If it weren’t for the dinosaurs passing on we wouldn’t have the pollution problem we have now.

You’re welcome.
  
Date: 5/31/2021 11:49:00 AM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry I am thinking that one through five would almost certainly earn me a ticket, down here in Texas. As for number six, I learned that lesson long ago. "Yes, your honor" is about as forward as I care to be, when addressing the judge. Now, I feel a need to watch "History of the world. Pt. II."

  
Date: 5/31/2021 12:40:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    You mean "It's good to be the King?"  
Date: 5/31/2021 5:26:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Hey Larry That's the one. Please excuse me for a while, "I have to run with mucus."   
Date: 5/23/2023 5:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Kronk....This was some pretty good stuff. I can't understand why more folk did not comment.

"L.D."---Don't flatter yourselves; it wasn't "that" good.

kronk---Wow, dog! That was hurtful.

"L.D."---hehehe...
  
Date: 5/24/2023 6:06:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5940    Grins in agreement!  

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