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Date: 5/15/2021 7:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...is it Saturday already? I really must applaud your efforts with this week's "Joke of the Week". Surely I can't be the only person here that thought you had already plumbed the depths of seemingly comedic material but once again you have proven us wrong and managed to sink to an even lower low. I pride myself on preparation and the preparedness did not fail me this time as the regurgitation pail was within easy reach. You catch us off guard with a good JOTW once in a while (such as the one submitted last week), and the gut-punch us with absolute drivel as a follow-up.  |
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Date: 5/15/2021 7:34:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Dear constant whiney complaining critic, so glad that I made your Saturday complete. Last week was an accident I assure you and most likely wasn't due to this author not living up to the usual standards. Please accept the muzzle as a token of my esteem.  |
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Date: 5/15/2021 2:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...forget the muzzle. A blindfold would be a better remedy unless you have plans to do an audio "Joke of the Week". If so, I'm cancelling my subscription and will expect a prompt refund. Who knew that this would turn into a feature for masochists. |
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Date: 5/15/2021 2:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Like Mighty Mouse, I'm here to save the day: A rugby player was hurt very badly during a scrum and he had both of his ears ripped off... Since he was permanently disfigured, he decided to give up playing rugby for good. His club and insurance company ensured that a large sum of money went his way. One day, he decided to invest his money in a small but growing sportswear business. He bought the company outright but after signing on the dotted line, realized that he knew nothing about business. He decided to employ someone to run the shop. The next day he set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very enthusiastic. At the end of the interview, the former rugby player asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And the man replied, “Why, yes, I couldn’t help noticing you have no ears.” The rugby player got angry and threw him out. The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?” She replied: “Well, you have no ears.” He got upset again and showed her the door. The third and last interview was with the best of the three. He was a very young man fresh out of college. He was smart and handsome and seemed to know all about the sportswear business. The rugby player was anxious, but went ahead and asked him the same question: “Do you notice anything different about me?” To his surprise the young man answered: “Yes, you wear contact lenses.” The former rugby player was shocked, and said, “What an incredibly observant young man you are. How in the world did you know that?” The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, “Well, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with no flipping ears!” |
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Date: 5/15/2021 2:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
Hey Larry: knock knock Me: whose there? Hey Larry: dishes Me: dishes who? Hey Larry: dishes a very bad joke. |
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Date: 5/15/2021 5:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well judging by the way you return to the JOTW posts religiously I would have to say that you answered your own question. |
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Date: 5/15/2021 5:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Knock Knock Who's there? Ottawa! Ottawa who? Ottawa get a passport for Canada. Knock Knock Who's there? Quebec! Quebec who? "Quebec to the end of the line!" "Don't Quebec on your promise.” " Knock Knock Who's there? Toronto! Toronto who? Toronto be a law against Knock Knock Jokes .” |
Date: 5/16/2021 5:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "Bond.....James Bond." My favorite was Sean Connery. I guess the thing that I liked best about James Bond, (besides the "really" interesting women that he hung out with) was the fact that he hardly ever missed. 007 was regularly taking out enemy agents with a .25 caliber Berretta at thirty yards, until he move upped to the Walther PPK. I should shoot so good. Anyway, I commend you on your staying power, amigo. Hekler and yourself are a breath of life, in a rather harsh and very confusing time in history. "Power to the weird!" Write on.......  |
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Date: 5/16/2021 6:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...the only reason that I consistently return is that I'm getting older and don't get out as much as I once did. I have so much to complain about and very few opportunities apart from what can be done online. Being politically correct and laws against land mines in the front lawn also slim down my enjoyment of life. Therefore, you are the lucky recipient of my concentrated attacks of misery. Congratulations! |
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Date: 5/16/2021 6:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...you can thank Hey Larry for that wonderful aroma. He sprayed himself with "New Car Smell". I can barely discern the scent of mice and mold any more. |
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Date: 5/16/2021 6:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...and Kronk...that first knock-knock joke with "dishes" was just made to be asked by Sean Connery. Try it. |
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Date: 5/16/2021 6:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Absolutely! The word "dishes" was made for Connery to speak. Love it! |
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