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Date: 5/10/2021 4:29:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
We’ve been USM BFF’s for so long I can’t remember which one of us is The Bad Influence.  |
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Date: 5/10/2021 5:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie song? Where is my happy ending? Where have all the cowboys gone?" (Paula Cole said that.) Hey Larry  I've had so much fun on USM, throughout the years. "Some people saved my head. Others made me cry. I may even have fallen in love, a time or two. Brain exercise."USM Uber Alles! Write on......  |
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Date: 5/10/2021 6:53:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I couldn’t agree more Kronk, you are one of many here that have made USM a great place to visit. Oh, and I would be remiss not to include L.E.D. as well. That being said, this post is a veiled warning to other members both new and old to beware of you know who....... |
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Date: 5/10/2021 8:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...should I be expecting a floral arrangement? I'll need to know so that I can be home to receive it. When I first saw you BFF reference, I was sure that you must be referring to a Blatantly Flatulent Foreigner but I reconsidered this after much thought and a couple of loud releases of gas. I guess that I should feel honoured that you've named me as a fiend or friend or anything else and one of the reasons I had you abducted is because I felt we were kindred spirits. The second reason is that I felt that you wouldn't mind escaping from the U.S. before the zombie apocalypse. Lastly and most importantly, I did not want you getting on an aircraft and making a fool of yourself by boozing it up and starting a quarrel because they wouldn't let you open the door in midflight so you "could get some fresh air". I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy your ride in the van. I did request that they throw an old tire in there for you to play with but you know how it can be with hirelings. They like to cut corners. I tried to hold off on replying for as long as possible so that your smug remark about me being the first to reply wouldn't come true but then I couldn't hold off forever, so here I am. All those suggestions I make regarding what you should do are merely meant to broaden your horizons. You MUST put the TP rolls aside once in a while and explore the real world. I'm just trying to be helpful in this respect. Having said all that, I do feel the same way as he does and I am, however sappy it sounds, glad to have him as a friend. Us oldsters gotta stick together.  |
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Date: 5/10/2021 8:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...good. Kronk was the first to reply. Now I don't look overly eager. Kronk...if you're looking for a happy ending, you're browsing the wrong website. |
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Date: 5/11/2021 6:38:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Expecting flowers? Is this a Bromance? You can expect something more explosive arriving around midnight. Wear your mask...gas mask that is. They confiscated my parachute pack and wouldn’t let me sit near the emergency exit on my return flight, all I wanted to do was save some time because Ihave to work in the morning. Still trying to figure out who tipped them off. And due to Covid and recent unruly passengers all airlines have discontinued serving alcoholic beverages. Leave it to a few to ruin it for the many. That being said, since I really didn’t get a chance to see Quebec you owe me. And no blindfolds. |
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Date: 5/11/2021 11:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Bromance? Not hardly! Still, I might like you even more if I woke one morning to find a '58 Impala Sport Coupe in the driveway. From your reply, I see that you've finally mastered the art of gassing into a jar. Well done! Your family should be proud of you! No one tipped them off about anything that led to the confiscation of your parachute. Perhaps they were just hoping you would attempt to jump without one. It must not have been pleasant sitting near you on the plane after your binge eating at Taco Smell. The offer for the Quebec visit is still on the table. No blindfolds will be used but I still insist on the gag. |
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Date: 5/11/2021 11:37:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Don’t get your hopes up, best I can do at this time would be a ‘58 Impala Sport Coupe from Matchbox or Hot Wheels. You drive a hard bargain. If you insist on wearing a gag then I guess I can bring one for you. But I still want a parachute. |
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Date: 5/11/2021 12:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...keep your Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars. I've already got it in a Johnny Lightning which is far preferable. Nice dig on the gag. I'll supply the parachute but I can't guarantee that it's a good one. |
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Date: 5/11/2021 4:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"Let me tell ya now, a dog is a man's best friend! Hey! (Where was you at? by WAR) Me--- Allow me to fill your bowl, and have a drink with me? "L.D."---Hey, you won't hear an argument from me. Fill `er up, mon ami. Me---Here you go. Don't tell mother. "L.D."---Gulp..Gulp...Gulp...Ummmm, 18 yr old ABERLOUR. Hit me again, boy friend. Gulp...Gulp...Gulp..Ahhhhhh, Lovely....What's the occasion, anyway? Me---That Chinese rocket debris went into the ocean, west of the Maldives. "L.D."---Oh, ok. Would you fill my bowl one more time? Me---You've already consumed 450ml out of a 750ml bottle. Don't you think that you've had enough? "L.D." Alright, alright, pour yourself another and give me the rest. Me---Don't tell mother "L.D."---Tell her, what? Me---You ma dog! |
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Date: 5/12/2021 8:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...you're a good man Kronk. No wonder that L.E.D is your best friend. Heck, if you were pouring something that I liked, I'd drink it from a dish on the floor too. I lost my pride years ago. |
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Date: 5/16/2021 5:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Love it! Flashed me back to "Pulp Fiction." I fed L.E.D. roast bee, off my plate, and it gave him the worst gas. Ugh! Of course, he wanted to snuggle all night. |
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Date: 5/16/2021 5:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"beef" |
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Date: 5/16/2021 6:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...roast bee wouldn't be much of a meal for a dog. You'd sting his feelings. |
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