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Date: 5/1/2021 6:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 13969
That really sounds like a stomach grenade.  |
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Date: 5/1/2021 6:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
..."FABULOUS" jokes? I went out for a walk this morning and saw a dead pigeon. It was truly something sad to see yet still, it was funnier than what is presented here each week as a "joke". I'll be on the edge of my seat for the next week, waiting to see what kind of a sucker you've talked into filling this space with a new groaner. Will it be Pee Wee Herman? Donald Trump? Someone even more deplorable? Time will tell. If your fishing trip goes as well as your "Joke of the Week", let me congratulate you in advance for your record catch of flounder. To be totally honest, those poutine jokes floored me. It was like the barn was on fire and I had to crawl in search of an exit. Enjoy your vacation!  |
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Date: 5/1/2021 6:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Sand Ghost...most of his jokes are stomach grenades. |
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Date: 5/1/2021 6:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...this post reminded me of a humorous anecdote that Hey Larry told me years ago. He had just passed the age of twelve and, on his way back to the farm on Hallowe'en, he managed to fall into the family manure pile. Making the best of a sorry situation, Hey Larry tied a towel around his neck in cape fashion, painted a "P" on his chest and went out trick or treating as Poutine. You can't make this stuff up. |
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Date: 5/1/2021 7:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Dear constant complainer, so good to hear from you yet once again! That dead pigeon probably was downwind of you after your morning poutine ingestion resulting a toxic gas that has been outlawed by the Geneva Convention. Sand Ghost had it right, and you didn’t even have to make any effort to pull the pin.k My surprise guest filling in for me is bound to make interesting conversation, and USM will be thankful for my return. As far as crawling on all fours, that’s definitely a poutine side effect isn’t it?  |
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Date: 5/1/2021 7:11:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
The Hekler anecdote for his Halloween get up was to wear a Russian uniform covered in gravy, curds and fries.... Hence you have Vladimir Poutine. |
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Date: 5/1/2021 7:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
POUTINE SOCIETY of CANADA 5940 Gravy Circle, Curdville, Quebec. L5R FU2 Dear Wannabe Comedian: Unlike the sublime flavour of true Canadian poutine, we find your attempts to be in very poor taste and demand an immediate retraction and apology or we will initiate proceedings to sue you for 1.6 billion dollars ($75.00 CDN). In addition to a retraction, we stipulate that you must also post a photograph of yourself eating and enjoying a large serving of a poutine variant of our choice. This is non-negotiable. You have two days. Get on it! Sincerely, Jacques LeStrap CEO and client, Poutine Society of Canada. |
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Date: 5/1/2021 10:32:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
RE: Poutine Society of Canada To whom it may concern, it may interest you to know that there is no....absolutely none whatsoever, jurisdiction to your frivolous threats involving this toxic waste known as “ poutine “. Your impotent proceedings will only make it as far as your explosive bowels will permit and you cannot make it past the border, let alone a gas station restroom. I order you to cease and desist your useless whining otherwise you’ll be hearing from my attorney from the law office of Dumas & McPhail. I trust this will put an end to this matter. |
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Date: 5/1/2021 11:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
P.O. Tato, C. Heese & G. Ravy ****Lawyers and Assassins**** 99 Rue DeDay, Montreal, Quebec K1S 0FF Dear wise guy. Our client, the Poutine Society of Canada, had approached you with an offer you couldn't refuse. And yet, you DID refuse their generous offer to let bygones be bygones and, in addition, mocked their ability to reach out and slap you silly. You had claimed lack of jurisdiction. You are wrong. You may already be aware of a prominent attorney in the United States that we are affiliated with. We call him the Cryptkeeper and without a doubt, he will make you wish that you had acquiesced to our earlier demand of a retraction. Yes, we are talking about Mr. R. W. L. Giuliani! This is your last warning! Retract NOW or we will release the Kraken! Sincerely, U. R. Dunfor Law Associate |
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Date: 5/1/2021 12:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
To: P.O. Tato, C. Heese & G. Ravy ****Lawyers and Assassins**** 99 Rue DeDay, Montreal, Quebec K1S 0FF It is my sad doodie to inform you bunch of no neck gorillas that my client has past away due to an enxpekted accident while huntiing wombat feces in order to complete the wall that was so exorbitant and constructed in a hasty fashion. In addition, had my client not died so suddenly, he would be laffing himself all the way to da bank after the kounter suite my firm would have slapped you in deface with. Should youse guys need proof of death then feel free to contact Bill Shivers at Pushing Up Daisies Mortuary. Cordially yours, Icabod Slipp Law Firm of Dumas & McPhail |
Date: 5/1/2021 3:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  L.E.D., here (code name "Kraken) How has it been, amigo? "Pauding;" the mention of that word has me flashing back at hyper speed. I was being kept by a human woman in Avignon, back in the thirteenth century. Her name was Chloe and man, she made the best bread pauding, ever."He said "poutine," you idiot, not "pauding!" Oh?  |
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Date: 5/1/2021 9:26:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hey L.E.D., good to see you. Chloe’s recipe sounds a whole lot better than the stomach grenade that’s been presented here as a warning to all who not to tempt fate. But then again, you’ve been around for quite sometime and you are an adventurous type. Should you ever come across poutine let me know how it goes. |
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