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Date: 3/13/2021 5:49:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
**** clanks into the arena with a full body suit of armor***** ===== looks around cautiously ====== +++++ lifts up the visor +++++ So far, so good!  |
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Date: 3/13/2021 1:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I fail to find any humor in this. An 89 year old man forced out of his home by a nagging wife that does nothing but complain about the few pleasures he has left in life, compounded by police harassment. Are you serious. You're probably related to the miserable old woman and stand to attain some monetary gain when the guy, in a complete despair, offs himself. Feeling good yet? I hope that armor can stop a .50 cal. blast of flatulence in your general direction.  |
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Date: 3/13/2021 1:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I think I’ll give you a new name, how about “Sunshine?” |
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Date: 3/13/2021 1:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...as in "Sunshine On My Shoulders" by John Denver? Did my reply make you happy? |
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Date: 3/13/2021 1:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..besides that, the name is already taken: http://www.unsolvedmysteries.com/2508.gif |
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Date: 3/13/2021 2:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
What? Too negative for such a bright moniker? How about something more fitting, say, Dis N. Terry? You can also double as a rap star! |
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Date: 3/13/2021 2:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...well, after seeing how the subjects of your posts tend to wander, how about we go on the road as a rap act? As you mentioned, I could be Dis N. Terry and you could be Dis N. Dat. |
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Date: 3/13/2021 2:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Before I commit myself to your dubious offer, what’s in it for me? Who you got representing this act? And did you find it funny this time? |
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Date: 3/13/2021 2:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...it was a good joke this week. Sorta reminds me of home. As far as "what’s in it for you?" is concerned, think of it as a Mission From God. I'll even throw in a decommissioned 1974 Dodge Monaco sedan interceptor for you to drive. I even talked Boy George into becoming your agent. As Chico used to say: "LOOKING GOOD!" |
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Date: 3/13/2021 2:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
So the truth comes out. Your incendiary reply was due to your home life, and here I was worried that you were going to urinate on my suit of armor to make it rust and limit my mobility. The decommissioned 1974 Dodge Monaco you mentioned has peaked my interest. However, the back door deal you made with Boy George is a deal breaker. As Arnold Schwarzenegger said... “ hasty la Vista, baby!” |
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Date: 3/13/2021 3:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...but Arnie also said "I'll be back" So, you want me to hold onto that contract for you or what? |
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Date: 3/13/2021 3:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
No. We’ll make it a phenomenal “What If” type of situation that turns into a cult like following where the revenue generated royalties allow us to work from home selling CD’s of the only near complete album that was meant for greater things. Boy George? Really? |
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Date: 3/13/2021 4:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I lined up Boy George because I thought that you were heavily into Karma. You set yourself up for that misunderstanding. I'll try again with someone new. Let me think about this for a while. |
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Date: 3/13/2021 4:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
And that’s where the ass in assume comes into play....s |
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Date: 3/13/2021 4:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...since you have decided to be so nasty about this all, I have unilaterally hired Jared Kushner to be your personal assistant. Next time, try being friendly. It goes a long way. |
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Date: 3/13/2021 4:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I've got a little tip for you. For your "Joke of the Week" headlines, instead of the qualifying "New and Improved" why not switch thet to "Few and Far Between". Let people decide for themselves as to how sad the offering truly is. I won't be billing you for that advice. |
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Date: 3/13/2021 4:59:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Let’s not get into the “Pot calling the kettle black” ok? After all, you are the King of Snark. I bet you really do own property next to Mar a Lago and no doubt have a warehouse full of embroidered / monogram My Pillows . How else would you be so well connected to Master Kushner? I hear Ted Cruz is planning another getaway, why not join him? No charge. |
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Date: 3/13/2021 8:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...you're in the market to buy a pillow? I have some really good deals for you there kettle. I only know Kushner from the time he rolled through town here and left a bunch of trash in his wake. They were all wearing red hats too. |
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Date: 3/18/2021 10:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...wow! Less than two days before we have another "Joke of the Week" old and nauseating edition. |
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Date: 3/18/2021 10:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I know! Exciting isn’t it? |
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Date: 3/18/2021 10:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'm looking forward to it. I even scrubbed the skid marks out from last weeks joke. |
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Date: 3/18/2021 10:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hey! Keep your dirty laundry to yourself! |
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Date: 3/18/2021 10:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...if you gave me your home address, I could send you a skid-o-gram. Makes a great flag in a Republican neighborhood. All you would need to do is add stars. Stripes already included. |
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Date: 3/19/2021 2:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I know I’m going to regret asking my sarcastic question, but have you ever considered starting a “Welcome Wagon” franchise of your very own? https://welcomewagon.com/history/ |
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Date: 3/19/2021 4:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 998
Oh my goodness ... you two should take your comedy stylings on the road. The new and improved Martin & Lewis ... Abbot and Costello. Cept for one thing .. there ain't no straight man in your team. Your both hilarious !!! I've paid good money in comedy clubs and haven't laughed out loud as much as when reading your silliness. Thanks Hey Larry and Heckler !!! The world really needs more of this.  |
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Date: 3/19/2021 5:18:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You really shouldn’t encourage Hekler you know. His “ Animosity “ towards life knows no boundaries. And you’re right about there not being a straight man in this menagerie, he’s as crooked as a hairpin. Tickets go on sale as soon as we find a venue that isn’t afraid of angry mobs. |
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Date: 3/19/2021 2:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hi Ginger! Good of you to drop in and attempt to boost Hey Larry's self-esteem. As far as taking our show on the road, it's already been there - in part. Where do you think a lot of these "jokes" come from? On the road or off to the side of the road. I agree with you in that the world needs more humor, especially in these times where it seems like everyone is in a battle over something or other. A smile here and there can ease a lot of tension and make you feel like things aren't as gloomy as you may have thought. I do have one wee request for you and I hope you don't mind me askig it. Is there any possibility of USM making a virtual defibrillator available on Saturday mornings that could be used to revive Hey Larry's jokes when they flatline or just plain tank? Always your fan, |
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Date: 3/19/2021 3:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry...what you call "animosity" is what most people would see as a well-grounded opinion. You call me crooked as a hairpin. I can live with that and I won't get bent out of shape over the accusation. As a rule of thumb, when we find that the audience is an angry mob, we'll have to drop the Trump jokes and move onto something they can laugh at...like Biden falling three time while climbing the stairs to board Air Force One. You have to be ready to change direction on the spot or find a new use for rotten vegetables. |
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Date: 3/19/2021 3:31:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well there’s one thing that Hekler said I totally agree with, and that is thanks to the owners of this website has allowed us a venue of sorts to have fun and be silly. The world sure does need more humor in it and , if I may, common sense. It is with much appreciation that I have a playground such as this, and who knew that Hekler and myself actually, truly, really and honestly like each other.....even thoug we’ve never met in person. Cause if we ever did, it would end up on one of the Law & Order Homicide episodes..... |
Date: 3/19/2021 4:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
It's nice to see some fun happening on here, you are so right Hey Larry.....  |
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Date: 3/19/2021 6:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry...I do appreciate you being here for all these years and putting up with me. That said, I think that the T.V. show(s) we would most closely resemble would be Night court and Deep Space 9. I think you resemble Quark the Ferengi too much. I want my ten pieces of gold pressed latinum back. That Tribble you sold me was DEAD, not sleeping. |
Date: 3/21/2021 10:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I find that your "new & improved" joke of the week is actually quite funny. Keep up the fine work. This is definitely "where the action is." Write on....  |
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