|
|
|
|
|
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
| |||||||||||||||
|
Date: 2/2/2021 12:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Now, I’d like to discuss in further detail regarding the green goddess and anything goes. Once upon a time, there was a very jolly green giant who was very lonely. He also had a gambling problem....this was way back in time long before there was gamblers anonymous you see... Anyway, looking to change his luck he prayed to the green goddess to give him hope for companionship as well as a big fat bank account by shooting craps. It turns out the green goddess had a wicked sense of humor and liked playing practical jokes, especially if you were taller than she was and being a jolly green giant certainly fit that Bill let me tell ya! She answered the jolly green giants prayer with the words....anything goes....anything goes....etc. Well, the jolly green giant thought that he had the blessing of the green goddess and went to see a loan shark to borrow money at a high rate of interest, he had to put up his home as collateral. Once the loan was secured, it came to mind that the jolly green giant needed to try something different this time i, instead of shooting craps he decided to bet it all at the horse track on a nag called Lumpy Gravy....paying 100 to 1. After all, anything goes....( you know who put that thought into his head, just saying ) Well, imagine how shocked the jolly green giant was when Lumpy Gravy collapsed and died at the starting gate all the while the 6 ft 2 inch jockey flaying the daylights with a small whip....but like the old saying goes...he was beating a dead horse. Man, that race wasn’t even close , let me tell you. Fearing for his life, the jolly green giant went into the witness protection program after agreeing to testify against the loan shark. And the green goddess was laughing herself into a tizzy.... The End  |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 8:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...sounds good but I'd omit the (ACK!) boiled eggs.  |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 8:41:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You could use raw eggs and be like Rocky Balboa. |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 8:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...somehow or other, the tale of the 6 foot, two inch jockey beating a dead horse strikes a chord in the depths of my mind. Could it possibly be a remnant of some fairy tale told to me as a child or is there a more recent connection that my subconscious mind is attempting to block? Alas, the Jolly Green Giant did not fare very well in the witness protection program as, even when sitting, his head and shoulders were readily visible above the forest treetops and it wasn't too long before word got back to the evil loansharks and they tracked him down and repossessed his golden golf clubs. Another prominent factor leading to his exposure would be his inability to keep his mouth shut whilst making demeaning remarks about the local women. |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 8:52:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Tis a cautionary tale for sure. Sometimes it's better to be able to see the forest from the trees, and making wishes from make believe is better suited to the land where King Friday reigns. |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 8:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...raw eggs (ACK!) Somewhere around the age of fourteen I developed a terrible aversion to eggs. If I could smell them or taste the eggy flavour, I felt ill. I can still use eggs in recipes like French toast and as a binder but not straight. This has been a constant source of amusement to my family over the years as they wave their stinking pickled or devilled eggs around within my olfactory limits. |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 9:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Might I dare to ponder that your family and friends are expressing their feelings for you? |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 9:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I think they're just trying to get back at me for perceived dirty tricks I have been accused of pulling on them over the years. My younger sister still won't accept the truth about the "Beef Stew Incident". |
|
Date: 2/2/2021 10:40:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Percieved...beef stew..in the same sentence as dirty tricks? I won't ask. |
Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization
