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Date: 2/1/2021 6:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler  Who doesn't like "The Eagles?"....L.E.D. writing, here. "He" is in another room, hanging from the ceiling, like some bat. But, let's not worry about him....My favorite goddess is "Artemis," or if you're Italian, Diana. If memory serves me, it must have been two or three millennia after "the big rain event." I was hanging out on a mountain side, a couple of thousand miles from "the bottom of the world" feeding on albatross hatchlings. I mean, I may be gifted with eternal life, but I still have to eat, otherwise I'll turn to dust and blow away, and that would really be sad. Anyway, the albatross chicks tasted a little fishy, but were so rich in protein that I only had to eat one every three days. Yes indeed, live was good and I had quadrupled in size. The only bad thing about the setup was, I didn't have anything to talk to. Albatrosses aren't really good at conversation. Besides that, I was eating their offspring, so they didn't have anything good to say to me. Things rocked along for about thirty years and then, one day, I was awakened from a nap (I did a lot of napping in those days.) by the loveliest of sounds. Climbing to the top of a nearby boulder, I scanned the plain below and saw the craziest looking creature, come skipping and tripping towards me. The thing had legs and horns like a goat and the torso and head of a tall elf. It was playing an extremely heavy tune on one of those multi piped flute things. He said he was called "Pan" and was recruiting exceptional hounds to form a pack that he planned on gifting to some chick called "Artemis." So, since albatross flesh was beginning to pale on my palette, and Pan said that this Artemis girl was extremely generous and kind to her beasts, I bid "Albatross Island" farewell and set off with Pan, bound for some place called Olympus. On the way up there, we picked up another ten hounds and arrived at Artemis's crib with eleven strong. That goddess turned out to be one "far out chick" and I spent about five hundred years in her company. She had an awful lot of responsibilities, but she took us out every chance she had. We hunted all manner of big game animals, all over the world, went off to war, in some place around Turkey, called Troy and ate, slept and lived off the fat of the land, in the mean time. Yes, it was a good life and I lived large and learned a lot, but alas, you know what "they" say about all good things. Our goddess, Artemis was for the most part, "weird and loose," which I really got off on, but the girl was chaste and when I say chaste, I mean she was CHASTE! She demanded that same degree of chastity of all her subjects and let me tell you that five hundred years of chastity will breakdown even the strongest "talking dog." (I had my eye on this fine little "fox" from down on the Med.) Anyhow, we had a long talk and the goddess graciously allowed me to resign my commission. I still consider her the finest of goddesses....αντίο  |
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Date: 2/1/2021 6:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...L.E.D. - tell Bat-Man to get off the ceiling and cook you up a steak. It's the least he can do to thank you for keeping his account here active and interesting. It truly would be sad if you failed to eat and became dessicated but be advised that you would be commemorated with a posting of Kansas' "Dust in the Wind". Albatrosses are notoriously well known for holding petty grudges, especially where the consumption of their young is concerned. Ignore them. That makes them open up again. Your meeting with Pan was quite fortunate (even though I suspect the involvement of alcohol) and who wouldn't take a free trip to Olympus if it was offered? As for Artemis being "a far out chick", I hope you did not make an attempt to eat her as you were prone to doing with the young albatrosses. It sounds like you have fallen far from those days since you took your leave of the Goddess, and now you're stuck with a guy that hangs from the ceiling and drops guano everywhere. If you consistently rub his nose in it and smack him with a rolled-up newspaper, he may change for the better.  |
Date: 2/2/2021 2:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
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Date: 5/23/2023 5:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Where was Hey Larry? kronk---I dunno'? "L.D."---My reference to "albatross" genocide may have spooked him. kronk---I doubt it, but we may never know. This post is pretty far back in the archives. Let's go have a beer. "L.D."---I'm there. |
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