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...A Word to Our Faithful Customers

  Author:  5301  Category:(Household) Created:(1/24/2021 1:16:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (231 times)

 
 
Hello Dear Friends at USM!
 
 
I've got a little bit of bad news to pass on but please remember that we're still open for business.
 
I raised Crazy Larry ever since he was 6 years old when the Good Lord called his momma home.
He's always bin a good boy and heedful to his dear old granny but I thinks he done got hisself in trouble agin.
 
I got this letter from him in the mail and, well...maybe you should read it.
 
Here it is
 
 
So, as you can see, it looks like Granny is steerin' the boat through the storm for a while.
 
One time, Crazy Larry made me a T-shirt for my birthday.
It was SO cute; the Swedish Chef with a big smile, waving happily at everbody and
saying something in Swedish and Crazy Larry told me that a rough translating was
"Have A Nice Day!"
 
This is a copy of that shirt he made for me and it's now available in all sizes in my new Booteek. Only $14.99
 

 
If you get to feeling powerful hungry, slip on into our world class diner for some tasty delites !
 
We kilt all the rats and roaches so we're good to go!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Scroll all the way down to read replies.
Many great holiday recipes

Show all stories by   Author:  5301 ( Click here )

Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 1/24/2021 1:35:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    ROTFL!!!

Granny sure does love that boy. More on this post throughout the day....
  
Date: 1/24/2021 7:21:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Trip to Washington to support My Arkansas Greatest Always didn't go right because Crazy Larry didn't even make it out of the county.

Skunk poaching is frowned upon.
  
Date: 1/24/2021 7:24:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Hey Granny! Do you have a cement pond for summer recreation? In fact, what sorts of recreation do y'all gots?

Asking for a cuzin of mine.
  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:03:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...yep, she dotes on him. She's managed to scare away at least twelve "gold-digging wenches"
that were only interested in him because of his wealth.

  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:09:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...the trip to Washington was a legitimate business venture.
Crazy Larry had this idea about selling gasoline to moped owners.
Mopeds don't use a lot of fuel so he figured that he could prepackage
it in small bottles that would be easy to store onboard the bikes for
emergency purposes. The folks in Washington called them some Russian
cocktail name and Crazy Larry, assuring them that he was a teetotaler
and explaining that they were just gasoline, failed to convince them otherwise.

  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:09:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Don't forget he still has most of his teeth.  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:11:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Wow! Those Gay Puree designer outfits are the beez knees. Did Granny go to design school?  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:12:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...nope, no cee-ment pond here but we do get Daisy Mae to wrassle with bears
wearing a bikini. Those bears look ridiculous in bikinis.

  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:15:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...he takes real good care of those teeth.
He can crack Brazil nuts with them they're so strong.

  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:18:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...Granny's designs originate from the time she worked under Coco Chanel back in the 1920s.
Coco was renting the upper stories of the building and Granny rented the basement.

  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:41:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    Does Granny's grub contain any MSG, Gluten,vegan, or words that you can't pronounce?  
Date: 1/24/2021 10:44:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...no, the vittles is all natural exceptin' maybe a few shotgun pellets here and there.

  
Date: 1/24/2021 12:39:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    And tread marks...I mean "grill marks".  
Date: 1/24/2021 9:12:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    

...so you noticed the grill marks from my new Bridgestone grill?
You are even smarter than Hank Hill.

  
Date: 1/25/2021 12:15:00 AM  From Authorid: 5940    You know something, my cat has gone missing. Does Granny have Chinese all you can eat buffet on Thursdays?

  
Date: 1/25/2021 2:59:00 AM  ( Admin-Z )   LOL you nutter Hek lol ...

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