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Date: 12/19/2020 8:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...no, the dog is probably thinking "Hey! I'm talking here! Shut up!  |
Date: 12/19/2020 1:41:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
If that’s the case then Xmas caroling in the neighborhood would be interesting.  |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..."Bark! The Herald Angels Sing"? |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..."Barkin' around the Christmas tree"? |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..."Oh Howly Night"? |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..."Santa Looks a Lot Like Doggy"? |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..."Fleas Navidad"? |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...here's a new one, courtesy of Hey Larry: "Christmas at K9" |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
..."All I Want for Christmas is Stew"? |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry strongly recommends that you look at this: https://youtu.be/BZG2tkeR4Ys |
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Date: 12/19/2020 2:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...so, that one didn't induce a seizure? This one will and make you want to climb up on a rooftop with a cauldron of boiling tar a catapult for launching cows: https://youtu.be/II3ZmtoZj74 |
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Date: 12/19/2020 3:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Actually, I envisioned Kronk and the Talking Dog arguing over the song list as they attempt to carol a tune. But end up being chased off by an angry mob of irate neighbors....but your idea works too. |
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Date: 12/20/2020 6:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Must've been August, `cause there was a bit of a chill in the air and many species of herd animal crowded the great plains (of Scotland) to partake of the rich grasses. I was "on assignment" at the time, studying the "fascinating fall behavior of wild turkey." That research was made possible by a grant from the "CCB" (Clan of the Cave Bear) who believed that crow magnon people were already walking around with something like seven and a half pounds of partially digested red meat in their gut, and the time was right for a "flight to fowl." For those of you who have never tried to keep up with a gang of prehistoric turkey, I'm here to tell that it's no easy task. The turkey, themselves are extremely fleet of foot and vigilant. Not to mention, having to deal with the myriad predators that shadow the turkey groups, in search of a meal. (drumsticks, ummmmm) This particular time, I had been driven from my research by a large murder of prehistoric crows and forced to seek shelter in a rocky arroyo that ran for some thousand yards, before finally reverse culminating into what turned out to be, a "box" arroyo and the lair of an immense "cave trap door spider." (Things were certainly NOT easy in those days.) Well, I only had one rock left, so it's was either the crows (they were as big as emus) or the spider. So, naturally I chose the spider. I mean, I couldn't actually see the spider, yet. But, those crows sounded like a squadron of Mitsubishi zeros diving in for the kill. I tossed my remaining rock into the hole, ahead of me and dropped, feet first, into the shaft. Do you remember your first ever jump off the high board at the community swimming pool? You knew the water was a finite distance away, and that contact was inevitable, but the trip seemed to take forever. Yes, of course, I was terrified, but when I finally did hit the bottom, it was nothing at all like what I'd expected. The bottom felt rather squishy, soft, and slightly elastic, if a little damp. I remember feeling absolute amazement and then, abject terror, as an extremely loud, blood curdling, roar echoed off the walls of the pit. To put it mildly; I `bout had a heart attack and then, I tripped, hit my head on something solid, and came to, thinking that I must be in heaven. (I am ever optimistic.) Yes, I thought, I am ended, and the blinding light I see must be that famous "light at the end of the tunnel" that politicians and other visionaries would routinely find, some thirteen thousand years into the future. (It's all relative, ain't it?) Anyway, as my eyes adjusted, I could see that the light was emanating from a jedi light saber, (yeah, no kidding) propped up in a corner and set on "low." I remember thinking, "WOW! How cool is that! I've always wanted one of those. Beats the heck out of a bag of rocks!" I made for the saber, but pulled up short when, in an exasperated tone, a voice called out, "Are you going to mess around all day? How about getting this spider off of me!" Ugh! I followed the sound and it was only then that I noticed the inanimate form of a two hundred pound "cave trap door spider," (I `bought had another heart attack.) and lying mostly covered by the spider's bulk, with only it's head and shoulders showing, an adolescent "talking dog." Wow! Isn't this strange? "Hurry up, you idiot!. I can't breathe." Well, although I am a rather poor turkey research scientist and I do tend to be clumsy, I am nothing if not spontaneous. So, I took hold of the jedi light saber, switched it to high and rapidly slashed forty pound chunks off the spider carcass, quickly freeing the talking dog. Upon regaining his composure, the talking dog (who I had decided to call L.E.D. after a dream I'd had, about something called a "light emitting diode"  explained what had happened.and I quote: "Man! I was looking for a place to hide from a group of starving Neanderthals, when I fell down this hole and was immediately grabbed by that spider. I figured I'd had it, for sure, but the spider hit me with a shot of poison, to numb me out, and pushed me aside, while it finished eating some poor wretch that must have fallen into the hole ahead of me. It was a horrible thing to watch. (I could see the whole thing visa vee that light in the corner.) After it's meal, the spider took a long nap and woke up later with a hungry gleam in all eighth of it's eyes. The thing had just latched on to me again and it didn't look good. WHEN, out of nowhere, a rock, the size of an ostrich egg came plummeting out of nowhere and hit the spider right smack dab on the back of the head, and an instant later, you fell out of heaven and drove the rock right through the monster's cephathorax." The "talking dog," who just happened to be an expert vertical surface climber, backed out the hole, cut a thick vine and then lowered it down to me. We've been together ever since. L.E.D. is also a natural tenor. I still sound like a murder of crows. We sing together a lot during the holidays...pory roku  |
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Date: 12/21/2020 2:21:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Wow Kronk! Talk about an adventure that was starting out to be a sequel to Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and winds up being a candidate for the Nebula Award.....only you didn’t write it you lived it. Now we know the origin of “ The Talking Dog” and how he became man’ s best friend to say the least, and wonder if he may have been inspirational for the book turned into an Eastwood movie, “The Eiger Sanction.”” But what the world really wants to know is.....set list, which neighborhood first, which neighbors are generous and which neighbors have a bad temper, hot chocolate or hot toddy? |
Date: 12/24/2020 4:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  Merry Christmas, my brother! "L.E.D." likes us to start with Jingle Bells and if received favorably, we pretty go with a minutes of the tried and true classics. If things turn ugly, we back off, just out of range, and give `em a few verses of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London," before vanishing "into the mystic." |
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Date: 12/24/2020 5:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...how do you determine "just out of range"? Don't some people down there own sniper rifles? |
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Date: 12/24/2020 11:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Excitable boy, now that is one I never figured for caroling but would be fun to try......out of range. |
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Date: 12/25/2020 11:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler There is no way to be absolutely "sure" of the folk in my neighborhood. Most of the oldsters have gone to ten and twelve gauge shotguns, but then, they don't usually even open the door. The AR and AK crowd are the ones' you really have to worry about. "Dart---fake---dip---dart---Double fake---etc." Most of those aim at the group and not the individual, but every now and then.....and that's where it gets tricky. Sometimes, I think it may be best to stay home and listen to Perry Como. |
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