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Date: 12/6/2020 2:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I am hoping many USMers take part in this. If you are a Trump follower than feel free to add to your delusion....no judgement here.  |
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Date: 12/6/2020 2:58:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Keep in mind how this would backfire as DeJoy was practically trying to dismantle the Postal Service before the election. And Giuliani has not been too successful in stopping the votes being counted. Even the recounts have shown no issues or at least not a national crisis anyway. Ask Attorney General Barr........ |
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Date: 12/6/2020 3:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OUTCOME #1: after a long three days of testimony from the 249 Republican members of Congress responding to the question of whether they believed that Biden had won the election, only 27 replied in the affirmative that Biden was the President-Elect. The remaining 228 congressmen and women quietly sat back and drank their special Kool-Aid. Rudy steps up to the stand and attemps to make an analogy between the election and "Planet of the Apes", proposing that if the election results were to stand as is, the end of human dominance over the planet will surely be the outcome. Rudy then unleashes a blast of flatulence that has children ducking and covering under their desks for miles around. Trump, in response to this perfectly logical synopsis proceeds to fill his Depends with a noxious substance unheard of since an event in April of 1915 when German troops unleashed chlorine gas on French soldiers. All non-Republican spectators die in agony. The survivors, used to such malignant fumes, polish their jackboots and prepare to storm the homes of minorities. Hope is but a distant dream.  |
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Date: 12/6/2020 3:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OUTCOME #2: a highly trained team of SIS forces consisting primarily of Scotsmen storm the proceedings and abduct Trump. Whisked away from American shores in a Top Secret aircraft of Irish design, the Scots force feed Trump haggis untils he reveals the truth of his financial status regarding his golf courses and other properties in Scotland. After admitting that he has bilked the kilted clans and also evaded millions in taxable income, the Scots sentence him to spend the rest of his life in Florida to spend his days working as a commoner in a Disney resort portraying Goofy. Trump escapes by night on a raft and heads to Cuba where he finds employment rolling cigars. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OUTCOME #3: during particularly heavy questioning, Rudy begins to perspire heavily, quickly filling the chambers with a sea of sweat. Republicans, unused to moving quickly on anything, all drown. Donald Trump will not be attending the inauguration. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Response to Outcome #1 : Dr. Zeus warns Trump and the First Lady as they prepare to ride off on horseback that they won’t like what they will find waiting for them, aka their destiny. Final scene shows the remains of Independence Hall strewn about in war torn manner as a symbol of the destruction of the Constitution. Fade to black. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
#2. He got off too easily. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:16:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
#3 Afterwards Trump will spend countless days at rallies in which he will spread baseless claims that it wasn’t Giuliani that caused the massive drownings in a tsunami of sweat, rather he does an about face on climate change and blames China for interfering with Giuliani’s hair dye. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Iranians, still seething over the loss of their nuclear scientist to an unprovoked attack, feel that Trump is secretly behind the exercise. Working feverishly, the design a "suitcase nuke" and incorporate it into an adult incontinence product which is sent to the White House purportedly as a gift from the people of Israel. During the hearings, the bomb is remotely detonated and there are no survivors. Total Jihad reigns in the Capitol environs. World leaders send Christmas gifts of fruit cake to Iran as a thank~you present. Iranian officials claim that the whole incident might have been avoided if the correct fruitcake had been delivered at an earlier moment in time. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Response to Response to Outcome #1: Melania leaves Trump for an ape with morals, integrity and good looks. She gives birth to an additional two children that do not pretend to be anything more than the children of an ape. Evolution progresses. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:29:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Lol! The gift that keeps on re-gifting. That’s as bad as a Mickey D’s spread at the White House for dignitaries. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...at least McDonalds didn't have to supply a clown for those events. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 4:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Response to Response to Outcome #2: he doesn't get off as easily as one might expect. Having such tiny hands, he is unable to roll anything larger than a cigarillo. This angers his employer and eventually leads to Trump being sent to work in a freak show in Haiti. The Haitians utilize his used Depends to grow fields of essential crops and the standard of living in this impoverished country grows exponentially. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 5:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OUTCOME # 5: a highly placed member of the Qanon movement enlists the assistance a nubile girl that is obviously not sixteen years of age to parade into the meetings with a bucket of KFC. Making a quick turnaround she quickly exits the premises. Giuliani follows the girl and Trump chases the chicken. Outside, burly women's rights movement activists quickly overcome the pair and throw them into a van with Biden/Harris logos clearly painted on the side and they are removed to an undisclosed location to spend the rest of their days as laborers for Habitat for Humanity. |
Date: 12/6/2020 5:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  I believe that my delusions are right at the prescribed amount, so, I believe I'll hold. People look at me funny, as it is. But.....Speaking of hair color. It must have been about `82, or possibly `83. The unit of process where I was stationed was shut down for a teardown and inspection period and besides the regular employees, numerous specialists were present. A certain percentage of these were female.An associate of mine, entertained the idea that he was quite the lady's man and went to great length to flutter and preen around the girls. Only problem was that he was the same age as I was, and while we were certainly not aged, we were not young, either. The telltale signs, like wrinkled hands, hairy nose, receding hairline and, of course, grey hair, were all too obvious. Anyway; we weren't going too fool anybody, that's for sure. My associate was especially proud of his thick and wide mustache. (I had more hair on the bottom of my feet, than I had on my upper lip.) Yes, it was a mighty fine mustache he had, indeed. The thing looked like huge "snow white" caterpillar. Well, you know how things are when a gang of workers, who have known one another for years, are all put on the day shift, together. A few comments like; "Act your age, grandpa...If you hooked up with her, she'd spend your whole social security check and....You're kidding me, right," knocked the wind out of his sails and sent him off mumbling to himself. Some of the guys felt bad about it and one asked me if I thought that they went a little too far. "No," I said, "he'll be just fine." And honestly, I thought he would be. Next day, as we all gathered in the mess to have coffee and whatever, my associate strode into the room like he owned the place. I mean, confidence literally emanated from his every pore. He made his entrance, then immediately went to the wash room. I took the opportunity to plead with my fellow workers and ask that they take it easy on the man. You see, my friend had dyed his caterpillar of a mustache, a deep, stygian black. The contrast was absolutely startling, especially since his hair and eyebrows were still the color of new snow. To their credit, my fellow workers went an entire twelve hour shift without uttering any insults or, for that matter, even mentioning "the mustache." If there is a moral to the story, Larry, I certainly don't know it..I haven't thought of that time in years. Thanks for the trigger and...write on....  |
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Date: 12/6/2020 5:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Habitat for Humanity trades the two off for a bag of cement mix and a plastic pail as everything they attempt to build fails miserably and injures innocent people. The new owners of the Trump/Giuliani pair tosses the two into the La Brea tar pits. They might come back but it will be a long time in the future before that day arrives and they will finally become useful to the scientific community. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 5:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Kronk! I have entertained thoughts of touching up the gray in my hair but that is as far as it got. I had an uncle that was "perpetually young" and always chased the younger women. After four marriages and six kids he eventually stopped chasing skirts but continued to deny his age. He passed away earlier this year and it was sort of a shock because, to look at him, he was always 35 years old. I surely hope you do not resent the way I harp on about Trump and his ace team of cronies. Are you a dyed-in-the-wool denier of the election results or merely disappointed by his loss? |
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Date: 12/6/2020 5:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler I'm not so worried about the actual color of my hair, I just wish that I had some. I look in the mirror about once a year and am always shocked. I keep wondering, "where does it go." No resentment towards you, my friend. We are, after all, rational creatures. As far as myself; "I" am not so sure that my government has my welfare, and the welfare of several hundreds of millions of middle class shmucks, like me, in mind." Of course, that being said, I "shall" endeavor to endure." Write on...... |
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Date: 12/6/2020 6:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I know what you mean Kronk. When younger and getting a haircut, I'm sure that I was responsible for more than one pair of scissors having to be replaced or resharpened due the the thickness and sheer amount of hair atop my noggin. Nowadays, still got the hair but it's more like a lawn cut close. The mosquitoes can actually reach the scalp on a warm summer night. Glad I don't live down your way. Those skeeters must grow to about a foot in length. I'd need to spend half a day replenishing my blood supply. |
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Date: 12/6/2020 6:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Kronk, I once tried Rogaine when my hair began to go down the shower drain. After a said period of time I decided to save my money when I realized that I had no problem growing hairs out of my ears and nostrils. And classy never did find it’s way into my style of living,why I even recall the time I was walking out of a gas station as a couple of young ladies were heading inside. For a moment my ego and pride was floating on a cloud as I thought they were smiling at me. It was the moment I reached for my car door when one of them began to sing loudly “Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World, Party Time, Excellent!” My response was an indignant “I drive a Gremlin Not a Pacer!” |
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Date: 12/6/2020 7:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...years ago, as my boss and friend began to bald rather quickly, I rewrote the lyrics for Clapton's "Cocaine" The title was now "Rogaine". He didn't seem overly impressed at my songwriting aptitude. Hey Larry...the women walking into the gas station had just dropped a bomb in the parking lot and you were heading right into the invisible cloud. I once thought a pleasant looking woman was talking to me when I was in the refrigerated section of the supermarket. I said "pardon me? I didn't quite catch that". She was talking on one of those Bluetooth units via her phone. I guess we all get those moments when we feel like we are once again visible to the other gender. I think the only way I'd get a younger lady to look at me now is if she had to step over me as I'm having a heart attack in a parking lot. Still, a pervert still might be temptesd to look upskirt even when dying. Oh look! He had a smile on his face when he died. He probably liked what he saw as he headed toward the light. Yeah, that's what it was. Fer sure. |
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Date: 12/7/2020 1:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...since I'm Canadian, I must be a socialist by the opinions of some of your populace but it sure is nice to go to the doctor or the hospital and not have to pay a penny for anything. Sure, I still have to pay for my prescriptions but will probably pay 1/10th the amount of a similar drug purchase in the states. I can still handle being a "socialist" under those circumstances too. Granted, our dollar has less value on the world stage than the USD but we've learned to live with that too. We just stopped buying greeting cards from Hallmark. |
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Date: 12/7/2020 7:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler The "moe-skeets" down here are so bad!....(How bad are they?)....They are so bad, that a swarm of the our notorious "Texas beach skeeters" was reported to have disabled and taken down a vintage World War I bi-wing plane, (loaded with DDT) that was trying to exterminate them. An associate (whose name I shall refrain from divulging) and I, suffered horribly, one long night in September. We were attempting to reclaim bales of, shall we say, "hay," which had been "accidently" jettisoned into the surf, just offshore of "Fort Manhasset." It seems a "Beechcraft Super King" was blown off course by extreme turbulence, south of the area, and the pilot was forced to dump his entire load. NOTE: "Some say that the spirits of the fort's confederate defenders haunt that section of coastline, to this day." (There is no way the pilot could have anticipated the unfortunate turn of events, since he was aviating on a temporary visa and was not versed in the local legends.) The plane's ultimate destination was a secret "kobe" beef breeding installation, "somewhere" north and west of the site of the old fort. My nameless associate and I arrived just at sundown, ran the surf line for about two miles and succeeded in recovering all twelve of the sixty pound bales of "hay." A call to "our employers," who had dropped us off and then retired to a well known oyster bar on the upper coast, for refreshment, had gone unanswered, so we settled in, amongst the "hay" bales and waited. Driftwood was unusually scarce on the beach and we decided "borrow" a few ounces of the "hay" and build a fire. That small fire proved to be "good for the soul," our tired bodies felt relief and we began to feel very relaxed; albeit, a little hungry. Yes, all seemed well in the world, UNTIL the gentle onshore breeze abruptly ceased and the much dreaded mosquitoes, assailed us. The assault was horrible and we whined, like spoiled talking dogs, as proboscis after bloody proboscis, penetrated our bodies, through our single layer of clothing. The only thing that kept the winged monsters at bay was our little (and very smoky) fire and by the time "our employers" mysteriously appeared out of the mist, we had been forced to utilize one full bale of the "hay" to insure our survival. "Our employers" apologized for not answering our calls, claiming that a dead zone surrounded the oyster bar and that they had been detained by local authorities while their papers were verified. "They," nevertheless, seemed immensely pleased with our recovery of the eleven bales of "hay" and put in a good word to "others" on our behalf. buenas noches |
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Date: 12/7/2020 7:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk. Honesty such as yoiurs is deserving of a reward. I sure hope your employers were happy that you were able to hand over the five bales of "hay" you managed to recover. Are you sure you're not a member of the law enforcement community? |
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Date: 12/7/2020 7:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...P.S. Next time you build a campfire, could I come by? I'll bring beer and snacks. |
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Date: 12/8/2020 3:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I swear Kronk, your adventures never cease to shock, awe and inspire. Ever thought using a pen name and author books and short stories? |
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Date: 12/8/2020 7:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler It seems that you may well be a man, after my own heart. That same idea had, in fact, occurred to both my nameless associate and myself, during the "skeeter onslaught." Perhaps, our sensibilities could have been addled by excessive "hay" fumes? It's hard to say, exactly, but it was perhaps fortuitous, that we failed to capitalize on such an "opportunity." It seems, we heard through "the grapevine," that "our employers" employer, while reasonably happy about receiving the ten bails of "hay," did, in fact, inquire about the whereabouts of the two missing bales. As to the possibility of yours truly being involved with any organization, other than "the A.I.A." (Armed Insurrectionists of America) well.....we'll have to get back to you on that one. indaba |
Date: 12/8/2020 7:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I love that, my friend. Thanks for the thoughts. "shock, awe, inspire" is good. Long as we don't, "infect."  |
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Date: 12/12/2020 12:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...I wouldn't place too much significance in Hey Larry's shock/awe/inspire remark. He's at that age where all that stuff happens every time he "makes potty". |
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Date: 12/12/2020 12:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler would know, he’s two years older than me. |
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Date: 12/12/2020 4:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...by the time you reach my age, it's more of a hope/pray/relief thing that goes through your mind. |
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